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The Greatest Joke In The World
Part 1:
A man with no arms or legs was out one day for a bit of fresh air. As he guided his electric wheelchair along the pavement, he noticed a sign in the local parish church. It read ‘Bell Ringer Wanted – Enquire At The Vicar’s House Next Door’. Eager to get some more work he decided to ask about it. The town vicar opened the door:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, yes, okay, but, ah, wouldn’t it be a bit of a handful – pardon the pun – considering your limitations?” replied the vicar.
The man laughed, “Of course not!” he said.
“But then, how would you ring the bells?” said the vicar, anxiously.
“How’d did you think I rang the doorbell?” said the man.
Part 2:
Later that year, a different man with no arms (but fine legs) was out for a stroll, when he too stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he walked over the vicar’s house and knocked on it with his feet. After a few seconds, the vicar answered:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they made their way to the church next door, where the man promised he’d ring the bells with no arms. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard the most beautiful sound in the world, and decided to give him the job. When the man returned, however, he had a huge gash on his forehead, dripping with blood.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Superb!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, it just wouldn’t be right for me to give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Instead of hitting the bell, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for his mistake. When he got there, there was already a policeman controlling things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but his face rings a bell.”
Part 3:
The next year, our armless dead friend’s brother (who also had no arms) was out walking, when he, once again, stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he knocked on the door of the house next door, to be promptly answered by the vicar:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they walked over to the church. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and he too proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard an even more beautiful sound, and decided to give him the job, providing there were no problems. When the man returned though, he had a huge bleeding cut on his forehead aswell.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Fantastic!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, I can’t give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting yet another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Just like before, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for the same mistake twice. When he got there, there was already a policeman manning things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Part 1:
A man with no arms or legs was out one day for a bit of fresh air. As he guided his electric wheelchair along the pavement, he noticed a sign in the local parish church. It read ‘Bell Ringer Wanted – Enquire At The Vicar’s House Next Door’. Eager to get some more work he decided to ask about it. The town vicar opened the door:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, yes, okay, but, ah, wouldn’t it be a bit of a handful – pardon the pun – considering your limitations?” replied the vicar.
The man laughed, “Of course not!” he said.
“But then, how would you ring the bells?” said the vicar, anxiously.
“How’d did you think I rang the doorbell?” said the man.
Part 2:
Later that year, a different man with no arms (but fine legs) was out for a stroll, when he too stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he walked over the vicar’s house and knocked on it with his feet. After a few seconds, the vicar answered:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they made their way to the church next door, where the man promised he’d ring the bells with no arms. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard the most beautiful sound in the world, and decided to give him the job. When the man returned, however, he had a huge gash on his forehead, dripping with blood.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Superb!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, it just wouldn’t be right for me to give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Instead of hitting the bell, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for his mistake. When he got there, there was already a policeman controlling things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but his face rings a bell.”
Part 3:
The next year, our armless dead friend’s brother (who also had no arms) was out walking, when he, once again, stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he knocked on the door of the house next door, to be promptly answered by the vicar:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they walked over to the church. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and he too proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard an even more beautiful sound, and decided to give him the job, providing there were no problems. When the man returned though, he had a huge bleeding cut on his forehead aswell.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Fantastic!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, I can’t give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting yet another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Just like before, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for the same mistake twice. When he got there, there was already a policeman manning things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Page:
The Greatest Joke In The World
Part 1:
A man with no arms or legs was out one day for a bit of fresh air. As he guided his electric wheelchair along the pavement, he noticed a sign in the local parish church. It read ‘Bell Ringer Wanted – Enquire At The Vicar’s House Next Door’. Eager to get some more work he decided to ask about it. The town vicar opened the door:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, yes, okay, but, ah, wouldn’t it be a bit of a handful – pardon the pun – considering your limitations?” replied the vicar.
The man laughed, “Of course not!” he said.
“But then, how would you ring the bells?” said the vicar, anxiously.
“How’d did you think I rang the doorbell?” said the man.
Part 2:
Later that year, a different man with no arms (but fine legs) was out for a stroll, when he too stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he walked over the vicar’s house and knocked on it with his feet. After a few seconds, the vicar answered:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they made their way to the church next door, where the man promised he’d ring the bells with no arms. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard the most beautiful sound in the world, and decided to give him the job. When the man returned, however, he had a huge gash on his forehead, dripping with blood.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Superb!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, it just wouldn’t be right for me to give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Instead of hitting the bell, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for his mistake. When he got there, there was already a policeman controlling things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but his face rings a bell.”
Part 3:
The next year, our armless dead friend’s brother (who also had no arms) was out walking, when he, once again, stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he knocked on the door of the house next door, to be promptly answered by the vicar:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they walked over to the church. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and he too proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard an even more beautiful sound, and decided to give him the job, providing there were no problems. When the man returned though, he had a huge bleeding cut on his forehead aswell.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Fantastic!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, I can’t give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting yet another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Just like before, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for the same mistake twice. When he got there, there was already a policeman manning things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
Part 1:
A man with no arms or legs was out one day for a bit of fresh air. As he guided his electric wheelchair along the pavement, he noticed a sign in the local parish church. It read ‘Bell Ringer Wanted – Enquire At The Vicar’s House Next Door’. Eager to get some more work he decided to ask about it. The town vicar opened the door:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, yes, okay, but, ah, wouldn’t it be a bit of a handful – pardon the pun – considering your limitations?” replied the vicar.
The man laughed, “Of course not!” he said.
“But then, how would you ring the bells?” said the vicar, anxiously.
“How’d did you think I rang the doorbell?” said the man.
Part 2:
Later that year, a different man with no arms (but fine legs) was out for a stroll, when he too stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he walked over the vicar’s house and knocked on it with his feet. After a few seconds, the vicar answered:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they made their way to the church next door, where the man promised he’d ring the bells with no arms. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard the most beautiful sound in the world, and decided to give him the job. When the man returned, however, he had a huge gash on his forehead, dripping with blood.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Superb!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, it just wouldn’t be right for me to give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Instead of hitting the bell, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for his mistake. When he got there, there was already a policeman controlling things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but his face rings a bell.”
Part 3:
The next year, our armless dead friend’s brother (who also had no arms) was out walking, when he, once again, stumbled upon the local church and ‘Help Wanted’ sign. So, he knocked on the door of the house next door, to be promptly answered by the vicar:
“Hello? How can I help you?”
“I’d like to apply for the bell ringing job” said the man.
“Well, okay then,” said the vicar “but how would you work? Considering your disability, I mean.”
“Well, I’ll show you!” said the man.
And so they walked over to the church. When they got in, the man ignored the ropes and he too proceeded to the top of the bell tower. He told the vicar to stand back, and then took a running jump at the bell. Just as he launched himself and made contact, the vicar heard an even more beautiful sound, and decided to give him the job, providing there were no problems. When the man returned though, he had a huge bleeding cut on his forehead aswell.
“How did I do?” said the man.
“Fantastic!” replied the vicar “But look at your head! I’m sorry, I can’t give you this job.”
“Wait! Let me show you once again!”
And before the vicar could do anything the man was already running towards the bell. Not wanting yet another tragic injury, the vicar moved the bell out of the way just as the man jumped. Just like before, he flew straight through the window and fell to his death. The vicar sprinted down to the spot where he landed, cursing himself for the same mistake twice. When he got there, there was already a policeman manning things:
“Do you know this man?” said the policeman.
“No,” said the vicar “but he’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
both of these jokes were very lame. but at least you tried!
What do you mean both? There were three.
I thought they were very clever.
I thought they were very clever.
SolidSnakeXXI wrote:
> I thought they were very clever.
as did i
> I thought they were very clever.
as did i
right then good joke. lets see who votes in the notable thread foolish eaqarthlings. (a criminal mastermind must all ways reveal his plan as soon as possible so it can be stopped. Other gveaways include the accent and name colour!) Lets see if anyone is foolish enough to vote.
1-doughnut monster
oh my goodness i got tony as well!
Ahaks!! Haks Haks Haks! Haarrkksss!!
I just heard this joke from me m8. It's called bribing the
Professor.
Okay, so here goes. Oh and before that, I just wanna say that it's
really funny... Well, at least to me it is... Okay, here goes....
Once there was an exam given by this Proffesor, he gave each student
an exam paper and waited for the students to give the exam papers back
to him with all questions awnsered after 1 and a half hours. Well....
soon all of the students gave the professor back their exam papers.
After a while, while the Professor was marking the exam papers, he saw
this exam paper that had a piece of paper and an envelope clipped on
it. He opened the envelope and saw £100!! Then he read the piece
of paper saying 1% for each £1.
When the exam papers were given out, the student that tried to bribe
the professor got his exam paper back. He got 45% and £55
change! The morale of this joke is don't ever bribe a
professor/teacher. Especially when the professor/teacher's main
subject is maths.
I laughed loads of times hearing this bad joke! It's Wicked!
I just heard this joke from me m8. It's called bribing the
Professor.
Okay, so here goes. Oh and before that, I just wanna say that it's
really funny... Well, at least to me it is... Okay, here goes....
Once there was an exam given by this Proffesor, he gave each student
an exam paper and waited for the students to give the exam papers back
to him with all questions awnsered after 1 and a half hours. Well....
soon all of the students gave the professor back their exam papers.
After a while, while the Professor was marking the exam papers, he saw
this exam paper that had a piece of paper and an envelope clipped on
it. He opened the envelope and saw £100!! Then he read the piece
of paper saying 1% for each £1.
When the exam papers were given out, the student that tried to bribe
the professor got his exam paper back. He got 45% and £55
change! The morale of this joke is don't ever bribe a
professor/teacher. Especially when the professor/teacher's main
subject is maths.
I laughed loads of times hearing this bad joke! It's Wicked!
A man walks into a bar - ouch
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra
no offence to any dyslexic people i didn't make the joke i just heard it somewhere
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra
no offence to any dyslexic people i didn't make the joke i just heard it somewhere
Page: