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"Big Bowser"

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Thu 04/07/02 at 07:36
Regular
Posts: 787
Big Bowser. The only fly-on-a-wall documentary. This is a major exclusive for Channel N. These are the rules. Six people, five weeks, one winner. What will happen? It’s up to you!

Introducing the Housemates:

Mario - A plumber by trade, Mario lives with his brother in an apartment in Brooklyn, New York.

Peach - Ruler of Mushroom kingdom, Peach enjoys baking, gardening and getting kidnapped. A weird hobby I know.

Wario - His hobbies include eating constantly and collecting money. Wario also hoards treasure.

Conker - American. Squirrel. Enjoys drinking and swearing.

Toad - Official protector of Princess Peach, Toad is actually a walking, talking toadstall. Unusual.

Joanna - 23-year-old Joanna is a secret agent for futuristic espionage outfit, the Carrington Institute.

So there you have it. An introduction to the characters now lets go to the house.

Week 1

Friday 6.41pm
All housemates enter the Big Bowser house through pipes, expect Conker and Joanna, they walked through the front door. Everyone has the opportunity to explore the house. Conker heads straight to the fridge, hoping to find some special home brew, while Joanna stays silent but violent. Toads immediately seeks cover near Mario after Wario tried to eat him. It’s not looking too good.

Friday 8.17pm
The six housemates decide who will sleep where; Toad gets put with Conker and Wario. Is that a plan to get rid of early competition? Who knows?


Monday 11.36pm
The housemates are talking in the living room. Big Bowser has asked each member to tell an interesting story about themselves. Toad hasn’t got one. Conker goes last, and starts talking about his girlfriend who was shot and killed during a ‘holiday’ last year.

Tuesday 1.41pm
The housemates draw up their first proper shopping list of the week. Big Bowser has given them 200 coins to shop with. Mario wants pasta, while Wario demands cream cakes. Toad decides he’d like mushrooms and Joanna wants a ‘Slim-fast’ milkshake for lunch and a sensible dinner. Conker asks if they can spend the budget on beer.

Tuesday 5.58pm
The housemates are asked to nominate for eviction. Peach nominates Toad: ‘This is awfully difficult, but I nominate Toad because he’ll find more mushrooms on the outside.’ It total Conker gets two while Toad gets...4. Toad is going to go.

Wednesday 4.46pm
Big Bowser announces the results of the nominations. Conker reveals he wanted to go because they didn’t spend the money on beer, while Toad wonders off in the garden and gets lost in the long grass.

Friday 8.24pm
As Toad leaves the house, Wario mocks him by shouting ‘I’m the best,’ in a high pitch voice.

Week 2

Sunday 2.11am
Conker is snoring.

Sunday 2.59am
Conker is still snoring. Joanna wakes up and silently karate-chops him in the neck.

Still Sunday 3.11am
Joanna is still awake and goes to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She starts talking to herself talking into a mirror. Peach goes down to the kitchen and sees Joanna talking to herself. She says she is talking to an invisible alien called Elvis. Maybe it’s a plan?

Tuesday 10.15pm
Mario is cooking pasta, while Peach is grating some cheese.

Tuesday 5.58pm
The housemates are asked by Big Bowser to nominate the housemates. After some thinking, Conker is up for eviction again, while Joanna is also up for the boot.

Thursday 12.03am
Conker has had too much to drink. He wets himself while the group are talking. He goes red.

Friday 8.24pm
The public votes Joanna out. Wario seems especially pleased after nominating her earlier on in the week, but Joanna says she will burn him when he comes out. He backs away, very slowly.

Week 3

Sunday 12.43pm
The week’s task sees the housemates having to complete a platforming competition where they all have to use their heads to bash blocks that are floating in the air. The reward is a special dinner. There seems to be some tension between Wario and Mario because the both are pretty good at the task.

Monday 1.11am
Mario’s persistent sleep talking walks Conker, who then puts cements his mouth together. Somehow the sleep talking continues. He looks over and sees Wario sleep talking. By now, the cement has dry and Mario cannot speak at all. Will Wario go for that nasty trick played on Conker?

Tuesday 12.09pm
After chiselling at Mario’s mouth, he can talk again, so the challenge gets under way. After Wario’s attempt to tamper with Mario’s blocks, he is disqualified. Mario has won the dinner.

Tuesday 4.13pm
The housemates are asked to nominate two people for eviction. Conker again goes up for the vote and so does Peach.

Friday 3.33pm
Conker is voted by the public to go. Before he goes, he takes Mario’s hat while he is in the shower along with the beer from the fridge. Mario is distraught. He starts crying.

Week 4

Saturday 11.22am
This week’s task involves decorating a cake. Smarties, icing and cream are delivered to the Big Bowser house. Peach has made an excellent design, while Mario’s and Wario’s is rubbish. Wario starts crying while stamping up and down on his hat.

Tuesday 4.07pm
Nothing much has happened, so they are asked to vote for the last time before there are only two left. The last two votes off Peach. She is very sad. Wario jumps up and down with joy, but then gets stung by a bee and inflates to the size of a hot air balloon.

Wednesday 10.10pm
Because Peach is nice, see bakes a cake for Mario to eat while see has gone. It has a big cap on the top of it. Mario is really pleased and puts it in the fridge. While he is not looking, Wario goes and turns the ‘M’ upside down so that it is a ‘W’ He then shouts ‘I’m gonna win...’

Week 5

Saturday 3.01pm
Big Bowser invites Mario into the Diary room. He says to the camera that he hates Wario and is planning to hit him over the head with a stick. Wario overhears and plans to get revenge. Mario walks out the diary room and falls down a massive hole.

Wednesday 5.32pm
He finally climbs out of the very deep hole and looks for Wario. He is in the kitchen making some tea for himself. He turns around for a minute and in that time; Mario pours a whole bottle of laxative into his tea. Wario turns around again without realising and drinks it in one go. Wario’s face turns red and realises he needs to go to the bathroom badly - only to find Mario is in there. A very clever plan by Mario.

Friday 4.21pm
Eviction day finally y comes and they are both battered and bruised by earlier events that week. It is up to the members of Special Reserve to decide which won should win....
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:24
Regular
".......on the attac"
Posts: 1,271
RM18, why isn't your brother on here?

Does he instantly call for you to stick for him when he posts one of this *snigger* spoofs and everyone has a go at him?
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:22
Regular
"+34 Intellect"
Posts: 21,334
RM18 wrote:
> 'You disgrace me'
>
> No if you'd added a smiley or something I wouldn't have thought
> anything of it, but looking at it from an impartial perspective, it
> looks very harsh (and serious).

Well your Bro has been here a while and then he posts a plaguerised article. He knows that is frowned upon, and even newbies who copy get a scolding, can he be treated so differently?
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:17
Regular
Posts: 5,630
'You disgrace me'

No if you'd added a smiley or something I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but looking at it from an impartial perspective, it looks very harsh (and serious).
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:17
Regular
".......on the attac"
Posts: 1,271
Hercules! wrote:
> It wasnt aimed at you Lord H.......

A thousand apologies Hercules!.

Good comment then! ;-)
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:15
Regular
"Hmmm....."
Posts: 12,243
Actually, I didnt react serious in any way and you take things too seriously on here.

If anything, im the one who takes these forums the least serious.

So dont say anything like that again if you dont know.
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:14
Regular
Posts: 5,630
Some people take things too seriously - the way he reacted it was as if he'd posted rascist comments or something!

Petty really...
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:13
Regular
"Hmmm....."
Posts: 12,243
It wasnt aimed at you Lord H.......
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:12
Regular
".......on the attac"
Posts: 1,271
Hercules! wrote:
> You disgrace me.

I've got nothing to do with you mate so please do one.

Note the " ;-) ". It means it's a joke.

Good comment Grix. No opinions, I like it! Heh
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:10
Regular
"95% organic"
Posts: 409
Goatboy wrote:
> Hmmmm.
>
> From my Big Brother 4 post yesterday, I have spotted 2 variations on
> it.
> Get your own spoof inspirations.
>
> Damn Dirty Hacks

Ahem...

http://ukchatforums.reserve.co.uk/ display_messages.php?threadid=41449&forumid=301
Thu 04/07/02 at 21:08
Regular
"Hmmm....."
Posts: 12,243
Hur hur, good.

Bye bye.

*continues to laugh*

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