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"The stupidest man in the world"

Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee: Ridge hall computer assistance; may I help you? Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect. What sort of trouble? Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. Went away? They disappeared. Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? Nothing. Nothing? It's blank; it wont accept anything when I type Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out? How do I tell? Can you see the C: prompt on the screen? What's a see-prompt? Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? There isnt any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type. Does your monitor have a power indicator What's a monitor? Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you that its on? I don't know. Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that? Yes, I think so. Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall. Yes, it is. When you where behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? No. Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. Okay here it is. Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer. I cant reach. Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is? No. Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark. Dark? Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Well, turn on the office light then. I can't. No? Why not? Because there's a power failure. A power... a power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packaging stuff your computer came in? Well, yes, I keep them in the closet. Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store where you bought it from. Really? Is it that bad? Yes Im afraid it is Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them? Tell them that your too ****ing stupid to own a computer."

Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee: Ridge hall computer assistance; may I help you? Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect. What sort of trouble? Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away. Went away? They disappeared. Hmm. So what does your screen look like now? Nothing. Nothing? It's blank; it wont accept anything when I type Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out? How do I tell? Can you see the C: prompt on the screen? What's a see-prompt? Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? There isnt any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type. Does your monitor have a power indicator What's a monitor? Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you that its on? I don't know. Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that? Yes, I think so. Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall. Yes, it is. When you where behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? No. Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable. Okay here it is. Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer. I cant reach. Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is? No. Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over? Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark. Dark? Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window. Well, turn on the office light then. I can't. No? Why not? Because there's a power failure. A power... a power failure? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packaging stuff your computer came in? Well, yes, I keep them in the closet. Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store where you bought it from. Really? Is it that bad? Yes Im afraid it is Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them? Tell them that your too ****ing stupid to own a computer."