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Approximatley 14% of the World's oxygen is produced by Plankton. Our continued (mis) use of the Earth's natural resources is slowly eating away at the environment's ability to convert C02 into O2. We need all the oxygen-producing allies we can find.
Step forward the Whale. What have they ever done for us? Two things spring to mind; provide inspiration for the name of a country and allow us to produce cheap tapes and CD's that can be bought from New Age shops featuring dreadful Whale humping noises. What have they done against us? Systematically eradicated (without remorse) our Planktonian friends. Every day a Whale consumes enough Plankton, that could have produced enough Oxygen to keep a small village in Hampshire alive for one minute. In effect they have declared war on us.
The solution is simple. We should tear down every rainforest in South America and use the wood (Mahogany only- we should chuck the rest into the Sea or burn it in skips) to build long man-sized spears and hunt them to extinction. It's the only way to be sure.
I think that the two Whale Species that we shouldn't exterminate are Sperm Whales (because they have a funny name) and Killer Whales (because they are actually Dolphins and they enjoy swimming around in miniscule paddling pools performing degrading tricks to amuse the simple folk).
It's about time we realised that most the problems in this World are not man-made and we attributed them to the real culprits. Animals.
Because they can't fight back.
Step forward the Whale. What have they ever done for us? Two things spring to mind; provide inspiration for the name of a country and allow us to produce cheap tapes and CD's that can be bought from New Age shops featuring dreadful Whale humping noises. What have they done against us? Systematically eradicated (without remorse) our Planktonian friends. Every day a Whale consumes enough Plankton, that could have produced enough Oxygen to keep a small village in Hampshire alive for one minute. In effect they have declared war on us.
The solution is simple. We should tear down every rainforest in South America and use the wood (Mahogany only- we should chuck the rest into the Sea or burn it in skips) to build long man-sized spears and hunt them to extinction. It's the only way to be sure.
I think that the two Whale Species that we shouldn't exterminate are Sperm Whales (because they have a funny name) and Killer Whales (because they are actually Dolphins and they enjoy swimming around in miniscule paddling pools performing degrading tricks to amuse the simple folk).
It's about time we realised that most the problems in this World are not man-made and we attributed them to the real culprits. Animals.
Because they can't fight back.
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It's a satire!!
The point of satire is to provoke an emotional response by presenting a preposterous argument in such a way, that it ridicules anyone who agrees with it or takes it too seriously.
Oh dear when you explain a joke it ceases to be funny but I seem to have no choice.
“The solution is simple. We should tear down every rainforest in South America and use the wood (Mahogany only- we should chuck the rest into the Sea or burn it in skips) to build long man-sized spears and hunt them to extinction. It's the only way to be sure”.
What a ridiculous suggestion! Why destroy the rainforest (which sustains a vast bio-diversity of species and produces a substantial amount of oxygen) to kill a harmless mammal? Also the bit about the Mahogany is also a slight on the practise by large companies of uprooting ten surrounding trees in order to get at one “useful” tree- the Mahogany. This deforestation is absurd. Hence the suggestions that we should build spears out of it and burn the rest in skips. What a wasteful thing to do. My point is thus valid.
“Killer Whales (because they are actually Dolphins and they enjoy swimming around in minuscule paddling pools performing degrading tricks to amuse the simple folk)”.
I hate animals being forced to perform such “entertainment” for us. If anyone bothered to read my subsequent post in the thread, you would understand this.
Also I would like to point out that my degree is in Environmental Science and my Post Grad is in Pollution Control.
So when I say “It's about time we realised that most the problems in this World are not man-made and we attributed them to the real culprits. Animals.
Because they can't fight back”.
It’s a joke! I’m making a statement. Humans blame everything but themselves for many of our problems.
As for reporting it to an internet watchdog or an MP, I think the second sentence is valid in this instance.
(I think I will avoid posting my topic on “Why fox hunting should be part of the National Curriculum” until a later date).
The point of satire is to provoke an emotional response by presenting a preposterous argument in such a way, that it ridicules anyone who agrees with it or takes it too seriously.
Oh dear when you explain a joke it ceases to be funny but I seem to have no choice.
“The solution is simple. We should tear down every rainforest in South America and use the wood (Mahogany only- we should chuck the rest into the Sea or burn it in skips) to build long man-sized spears and hunt them to extinction. It's the only way to be sure”.
What a ridiculous suggestion! Why destroy the rainforest (which sustains a vast bio-diversity of species and produces a substantial amount of oxygen) to kill a harmless mammal? Also the bit about the Mahogany is also a slight on the practise by large companies of uprooting ten surrounding trees in order to get at one “useful” tree- the Mahogany. This deforestation is absurd. Hence the suggestions that we should build spears out of it and burn the rest in skips. What a wasteful thing to do. My point is thus valid.
“Killer Whales (because they are actually Dolphins and they enjoy swimming around in minuscule paddling pools performing degrading tricks to amuse the simple folk)”.
I hate animals being forced to perform such “entertainment” for us. If anyone bothered to read my subsequent post in the thread, you would understand this.
Also I would like to point out that my degree is in Environmental Science and my Post Grad is in Pollution Control.
So when I say “It's about time we realised that most the problems in this World are not man-made and we attributed them to the real culprits. Animals.
Because they can't fight back”.
It’s a joke! I’m making a statement. Humans blame everything but themselves for many of our problems.
As for reporting it to an internet watchdog or an MP, I think the second sentence is valid in this instance.
(I think I will avoid posting my topic on “Why fox hunting should be part of the National Curriculum” until a later date).
Best GAD ever.
Damn dirty sea-swelling mammals
Damn dirty sea-swelling mammals
illzen wrote:
> Whales are just clinically obese tuna fish
Are you insane???
Have you ever seen what a tuna can do?? They're lethal!!!
> Whales are just clinically obese tuna fish
Are you insane???
Have you ever seen what a tuna can do?? They're lethal!!!
After a report this morning that humans are useing 20% more resourses then that is in in the World it makes this post look even more **** . The post is stupid totally false and not one bit funny. and i wonder about staff members mentality choising it as a GAD.I seriously looking to report it to my local MP maybe and maybe the internet watch dog for allowing it.
===SONICRAV---> wrote:
> Excellent post, but tell me...
>
> How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be
> asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on
> that day!
--
Because this is interesting.
> Excellent post, but tell me...
>
> How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be
> asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on
> that day!
--
Because this is interesting.
===SONICRAV---> wrote:
> Excellent post, but tell me...
>
> How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be
> asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on
> that day!
Lets be bitter together.
> Excellent post, but tell me...
>
> How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be
> asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on
> that day!
Lets be bitter together.
Excellent post, but tell me...
How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on that day!
How did this win the GAMING DISCUSSION game a day prize? I'll be asking the staff about this too... I actually wrote a good topic on that day!
Gah my 5,000 word behemoth was defeated by this small offering. Still your one made me laugh.
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