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"So you want to be a notable eh?"

So you’re a wannabe notable then eh, well here’s your personal guide to reaching the golden high compliments of yours truly.

Option 1

Be “fake” just not too fake, say lol a lot and if you feel the need to moan, don’t! Just lol things off. Pretend to know what you’re talking about and generally agree with other users, disagreeing and arguing them is hard to pull off, they usually get a lot of support (mainly because they’re in the right and you’re just being picky but there you go) do not argue with them got it, previous results show this does not work with your immediate popularity right Edgy?

Do a variety of posts, start topics about interesting things when and as you can, you want your name up there in lights for people to see as often as possible, talk about monkeys a lot that’s a winner, either that or how you just invented a new form of goo or something. Stupid things you’ve done are always a good read.

Sucking up is not good, people spot a sucker from a mile off and Wookiee will attack without warning so you want to watch out for that one. Try and pick a popular person and associate yourselves with them, pick an interest they have (again monkeys is good here) and exploit that. Steer clear of Stryke though because unless you’re perfectly to his liking he will treat you like a Pot Noodle.

Be friendly with newbies become a MSN agony aunt, after countless arguments with other users (again Stryke) you can pretend to be on their side, tell them they will win GAD with their “I fink GTA3 is the bets game oot for Playstation and the guns blow me and the visuals away!!1” review effort. Go be a shrink to those newbies moaning about those damn regulars thinking they’re all high and mighty but do NOT join some group like the Spam Squad etc. Never a good idea. Just talk behind people’s back, pretend it’s Eastenders or another similar show.

Oh and one last note plugging your topic is a nice way to draw attention to it but only in the relevant places otherwise as you may get sided with some regulars and newbies, more often that not you will not get sided with the right people you need for your notable chances to increase, if you get Grix on your side then you’re in the right area. Again he likes monkeys oh and Skies of Arcadia, if you have/like that he’ll love you, he may even kiss you.

So on an overall for option 1 follow these steps

1. No txt tlk
2. No talking to Stryke or Wookiee unless absolutely necessary
3. Apply selective sucking up
4. Become two faced with everyone for all round support
5. Monkeys are your friends monkeys are your life


Option 2

Be a girl. Easy, be a girl, or pretend to be one at least previous experiments have show this to have instant popularity and your name engraved into the majority of user’s brains at first post. Start out with a topic with a simple innocent yet “clueless” message along the lines of hello, I’m female anyone want to talk. Don’t be too forward though, even geeks at SR don’t like a Cyber Chick, they’re a higher class here. Instead play it cool, at first act as if it’s normal just come out with some typically girlish one liners every once in a while, sure fire hits include talking about love and be sure to get out the “God, I wish I didn’t have to wear a bra” line at least once.

Also saying I like you you’re funny to someone will make them feel special, “Finally someone who likes me” is what they will be thinking but at least that’s one guaranteed vote for you to clock up on your list of notable votes (Note: Starting your own campaign as a newbie will dent your chances. Forever.)

Pretend not to be wearing socks while at the computer, very girly.

Whenever you spot a post either slating women’s abilities or some joke about women always comment on it, be careful not to be nagging, enjoy it, a lol will do but be sure you comment on it as it will cement your status as a girl even more.

Be careful when talking about Bra’s and thongs as at first this will interest the majority of users too much talk leaves them slightly bored and even scared at these feats of engineering. It’s just how much they can do with so little material.

Pretend to love everyone on MSN.

To top it off pretend you are interested in boys as a preference but that sexual relations with the same sex is an area you wouldn’t mind venturing into and be sure to use the word venturing when describing this.

Your age, now there will be a time when someone asks for your age, now you want to appeal to people but you don’t want to seem too young for the older generations. If you particularly want you can aim at the majority and say 15 - 16, this will give you everyone from 14 - 17 Max onto you a safe age would be 18 - 19, that way you sexual adventurous are more believable and you act as a target for younger posters to hit who will like you and talk to you and feel easy where’s most people considering your fake age will be all over you like a rash. Older posters will not “aim” for you as such but they will see you as the women from the forums, the confidant and will see you as being mature and the really old users will use you and your sexual ramblings (because you’re in your sexual prime you know) as a memory as to what it’s like to be with a 19 year old.

So there you have it, your idiot guide to rising to the notable ranks. No fuss, send all questions to your brain and see what he has to say about it.

Option 2 is probably the fastest and easiest way to popularity but it can leave you being hit on by half the population of SR and it may not be good for you in the long run. Option 1 is safer but more risky, it’s not as sound proof as option 1 or as degrading but hell if you’re going to have morals about it, sheesh.

*starts to talk to Wookiemonster*

Oh, hi there Wookiemonster, how are you on this lovely day?

*sucks up*

You are so cool, its unbelieveable, I can tell you how much you rule because you rule that much!

Can I have a GAD pwease coz ive never won one before......

*gets attacked from Wookiemonster*

;D

yes

WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:

>
> Oh, and despite popular belief, I pick the GAD winners. So be nice,
> or face the consequences.

But I'm always nice Wookiee - I've never ever mentioned your poor personal hygiene or the problem you have with those fleas and you havn't awarded me a Gad yet.

How to be a Notable:

Step 1: Post entertaining stuff.

Step 2: Er, that's it...

(a) Post rubbish
(b) Post more rubbish
(c) Get plagued on MSN by 12 year olds that I would beat up if you came up to me in the street as easily as you do on MSN

That's it.

Goatboy wrote:
> (c) Get plagued on MSN by 12 year olds that I would beat up if you
> came up to me in the street as easily as you do on MSN
>
> That's it.


I'm not twelve.

I know, I meant the others.

Seriously, stop randomnly adding me to your MSN please as it gets annoying having to block everyone apart from the other notables, the laydees and 5 others.

If you're
(a) Stupid
(b) Under 18
(c) Without breasts (not hairy manbreasts)
(d) Asher D

Then dont add me, because I dont want to speak to you.

So why did you block me?

All I wanted to discuss with you was films and Pink Floyd... and life itself.

Hey ho. :(

Can you help me with a script I am writing Goatboy?

I just went through a banning-frenzy when I logged on after a month away and found about 19 new contacts, none of which I recognised.

No offence meant, I'm wading through and fixing it in the next week or so.
Email me about the script mate.

Goatboy wrote:
> (d) Asher D
>
> Then dont add me, because I dont want to speak to you.

Ho ho, thats you told.