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I recieved this in my EMail, and it IS quite funny, although somewhat obscene :P
"The world is nuts"
1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female. Having
sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind!")
4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first
time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
this?)
5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
to pass this law?)
9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises."
(Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
Guam!)
10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig.)
11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
hour.
(Still not over that pig thing.)
12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this research?)
15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
over quantity.)
16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, jeez)
17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
18. Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
LF. LoL!
"The world is nuts"
1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
animals, but the animals must be female. Having
sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
death.
(Like THAT makes sense.)
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He may only
see their reflection in a mirror.
(Do they look different reversed?)
3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation.
(Much worse than "going blind!")
4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
them for the privilege of having sex for the first
time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
forbidden for virgins to marry.
(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
this?)
5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
(Ah! Justice!)
6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
time.
(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
to pass this law?)
9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises."
(Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
Guam!)
10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig.)
11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
hour.
(Still not over that pig thing.)
12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls over on its
right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this research?)
15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
over quantity.)
16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, jeez)
17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
18. Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
LF. LoL!
Page:
fosbe wrote:
> Lawless Fever wrote:
> I recieved this in my EMail, and it IS quite funny, although
> somewhat
> obscene :P
>
> "The world is nuts"
>
> 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
> animals, but the animals must be female. Having
> sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
> death.
>
> WHat if the man thought it was a female animal??
>
>
> (Like THAT makes sense.)
>
> 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
> woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
> directly at them during the examination. He may only
> see their reflection in a mirror.
>
> (Do they look different reversed?) Or he might go blind like peeping
> tom did.
>
> 3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
> decapitation.
>
> Even for first timers?
>
> (Much worse than "going blind!")
>
> 4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
> the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
> them for the privilege of having sex for the first
> time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
> forbidden for virgins to marry.
>
> JUst look on findajob and nothing has come up yet, but am going to
> post a message saying i want that job so i get an email if someone is
> looking for someone to do it.
>
> (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
> anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
> this?)
>
> 5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
> kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
> her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
> hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
>
> (Ah! Justice!) I love those chinese people they are so fair and
> kind.
>
> 6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
> but only in tropical fish stores.
>
> (But of course!) Well i will have to search all the tropical fish
> stores to find 1.
>
> 7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
> husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
> must be in the room to witness the act.
>
> Now i thought that my mum walking throught he school was embarrising,
> i now feel better off and priveldged to live in england
>
> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
>
> What they are allowd to have sex witht here daughters, think if they
> accidently made a baby, if you see some real idiots in santa cruz u no
> that its because her/his mum had sex with her father.
>
> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
> to pass this law?)
>
> 9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
> vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
> be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
> where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
> the premises."
>
> (Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
> Guam!) I dont understand.
>
> 10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
>
> BUt is it as gd as a humans?
>
> (In my next life I want to be a pig.)
>
> 11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
> hour.
>
> What so you have to bang oyur head a against a wall constanly for an
> hour? HOw hard?? BUt wouldnt oyu loose loads of braincells???
>
> (Still not over that pig thing.)
>
> 12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
> for pleasure.
>
> Shame pigs arent there. DO pigs just do it to make babies??
>
> (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
>
> 13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>
> My tongue is really long, no i mena really long, my mum even took me
> to the docter to ask if i had a diseasee!!! (think about how long it
> is)
>
> (Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
>
> 14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
> times its own weight and always falls over on its
> right side when intoxicated.
>
> Wow ants are prety strong devils.
>
> (From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this
> research?)
>
> 15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
>
> Is that witht he same female????
>
> (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
> over quantity.)
>
> 16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
>
> WHat if they land on something dodgy?
>
> (Ah, jeez)
>
> 17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
> ????????????????????
> (I know some people like that.)
>
> 18. Starfish don't have brains.
>
> SO that answers it female blonds must be half starfish.
>
> (I know some people like that too.)
>
> Fosbe. LoL!
I reitorate, was it really neccessary to quote the entire post? :)
> Lawless Fever wrote:
> I recieved this in my EMail, and it IS quite funny, although
> somewhat
> obscene :P
>
> "The world is nuts"
>
> 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
> animals, but the animals must be female. Having
> sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
> death.
>
> WHat if the man thought it was a female animal??
>
>
> (Like THAT makes sense.)
>
> 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
> woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
> directly at them during the examination. He may only
> see their reflection in a mirror.
>
> (Do they look different reversed?) Or he might go blind like peeping
> tom did.
>
> 3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
> decapitation.
>
> Even for first timers?
>
> (Much worse than "going blind!")
>
> 4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
> the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
> them for the privilege of having sex for the first
> time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
> forbidden for virgins to marry.
>
> JUst look on findajob and nothing has come up yet, but am going to
> post a message saying i want that job so i get an email if someone is
> looking for someone to do it.
>
> (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
> anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
> this?)
>
> 5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
> kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
> her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
> hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
>
> (Ah! Justice!) I love those chinese people they are so fair and
> kind.
>
> 6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
> but only in tropical fish stores.
>
> (But of course!) Well i will have to search all the tropical fish
> stores to find 1.
>
> 7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
> husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
> must be in the room to witness the act.
>
> Now i thought that my mum walking throught he school was embarrising,
> i now feel better off and priveldged to live in england
>
> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
>
> What they are allowd to have sex witht here daughters, think if they
> accidently made a baby, if you see some real idiots in santa cruz u no
> that its because her/his mum had sex with her father.
>
> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
> to pass this law?)
>
> 9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
> vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
> be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
> where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
> the premises."
>
> (Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
> Guam!) I dont understand.
>
> 10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
>
> BUt is it as gd as a humans?
>
> (In my next life I want to be a pig.)
>
> 11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
> hour.
>
> What so you have to bang oyur head a against a wall constanly for an
> hour? HOw hard?? BUt wouldnt oyu loose loads of braincells???
>
> (Still not over that pig thing.)
>
> 12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
> for pleasure.
>
> Shame pigs arent there. DO pigs just do it to make babies??
>
> (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
>
> 13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>
> My tongue is really long, no i mena really long, my mum even took me
> to the docter to ask if i had a diseasee!!! (think about how long it
> is)
>
> (Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
>
> 14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
> times its own weight and always falls over on its
> right side when intoxicated.
>
> Wow ants are prety strong devils.
>
> (From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this
> research?)
>
> 15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
>
> Is that witht he same female????
>
> (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
> over quantity.)
>
> 16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
>
> WHat if they land on something dodgy?
>
> (Ah, jeez)
>
> 17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
> ????????????????????
> (I know some people like that.)
>
> 18. Starfish don't have brains.
>
> SO that answers it female blonds must be half starfish.
>
> (I know some people like that too.)
>
> Fosbe. LoL!
I reitorate, was it really neccessary to quote the entire post? :)
Hehe.
Brilliant!
Brilliant!
Lawless Fever wrote:
> I recieved this in my EMail, and it IS quite funny, although somewhat
> obscene :P
>
> "The world is nuts"
>
> 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
> animals, but the animals must be female. Having
> sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
> death.
>
WHat if the man thought it was a female animal??
> (Like THAT makes sense.)
>
> 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
> woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
> directly at them during the examination. He may only
> see their reflection in a mirror.
>
> (Do they look different reversed?) Or he might go blind like peeping tom did.
>
> 3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
> decapitation.
>
Even for first timers?
> (Much worse than "going blind!")
>
> 4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
> the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
> them for the privilege of having sex for the first
> time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
> forbidden for virgins to marry.
>
JUst look on findajob and nothing has come up yet, but am going to post a message saying i want that job so i get an email if someone is looking for someone to do it.
> (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
> anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
> this?)
>
> 5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
> kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
> her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
> hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
>
> (Ah! Justice!) I love those chinese people they are so fair and kind.
>
> 6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
> but only in tropical fish stores.
>
> (But of course!) Well i will have to search all the tropical fish stores to find 1.
>
> 7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
> husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
> must be in the room to witness the act.
>
Now i thought that my mum walking throught he school was embarrising, i now feel better off and priveldged to live in england
> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
What they are allowd to have sex witht here daughters, think if they accidently made a baby, if you see some real idiots in santa cruz u no that its because her/his mum had sex with her father.
>
> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
> to pass this law?)
>
> 9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
> vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
> be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
> where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
> the premises."
>
> (Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
> Guam!) I dont understand.
>
> 10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
BUt is it as gd as a humans?
>
> (In my next life I want to be a pig.)
>
> 11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
> hour.
>
What so you have to bang oyur head a against a wall constanly for an hour? HOw hard?? BUt wouldnt oyu loose loads of braincells???
> (Still not over that pig thing.)
>
> 12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
> for pleasure.
Shame pigs arent there. DO pigs just do it to make babies??
>
> (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
>
> 13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>
My tongue is really long, no i mena really long, my mum even took me to the docter to ask if i had a diseasee!!! (think about how long it is)
> (Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
>
> 14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
> times its own weight and always falls over on its
> right side when intoxicated.
>
Wow ants are prety strong devils.
> (From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this
> research?)
>
> 15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Is that witht he same female????
>
> (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
> over quantity.)
>
> 16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
WHat if they land on something dodgy?
>
> (Ah, jeez)
>
> 17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
> ????????????????????
> (I know some people like that.)
>
> 18. Starfish don't have brains.
>
SO that answers it female blonds must be half starfish.
> (I know some people like that too.)
>
> Fosbe. LoL!
> I recieved this in my EMail, and it IS quite funny, although somewhat
> obscene :P
>
> "The world is nuts"
>
> 1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
> animals, but the animals must be female. Having
> sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by
> death.
>
WHat if the man thought it was a female animal??
> (Like THAT makes sense.)
>
> 2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
> woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
> directly at them during the examination. He may only
> see their reflection in a mirror.
>
> (Do they look different reversed?) Or he might go blind like peeping tom did.
>
> 3. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
> decapitation.
>
Even for first timers?
> (Much worse than "going blind!")
>
> 4. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
> the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
> them for the privilege of having sex for the first
> time. For reason under Guam law, it is expressly
> forbidden for virgins to marry.
>
JUst look on findajob and nothing has come up yet, but am going to post a message saying i want that job so i get an email if someone is looking for someone to do it.
> (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job
> anywhere else in the world that even comes close to
> this?)
>
> 5. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
> kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
> her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other
> hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
>
> (Ah! Justice!) I love those chinese people they are so fair and kind.
>
> 6. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England -
> but only in tropical fish stores.
>
> (But of course!) Well i will have to search all the tropical fish stores to find 1.
>
> 7. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
> husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
> must be in the room to witness the act.
>
Now i thought that my mum walking throught he school was embarrising, i now feel better off and priveldged to live in england
> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
What they are allowd to have sex witht here daughters, think if they accidently made a baby, if you see some real idiots in santa cruz u no that its because her/his mum had sex with her father.
>
> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had
> to pass this law?)
>
> 9. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
> vending machines with one exception - prophylactics may
> be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
> where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
> the premises."
>
> (Is the USA a great country or what? Not as great as
> Guam!) I dont understand.
>
> 10. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
BUt is it as gd as a humans?
>
> (In my next life I want to be a pig.)
>
> 11. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an
> hour.
>
What so you have to bang oyur head a against a wall constanly for an hour? HOw hard?? BUt wouldnt oyu loose loads of braincells???
> (Still not over that pig thing.)
>
> 12. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
> for pleasure.
Shame pigs arent there. DO pigs just do it to make babies??
>
> (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
>
> 13. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>
My tongue is really long, no i mena really long, my mum even took me to the docter to ask if i had a diseasee!!! (think about how long it is)
> (Hummm...I won't touch THAT one!)
>
> 14. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
> times its own weight and always falls over on its
> right side when intoxicated.
>
Wow ants are prety strong devils.
> (From drinking little bottles of...Did the government pay for this
> research?)
>
> 15. Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
Is that witht he same female????
>
> (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality
> over quantity.)
>
> 16. Butterflies taste with their feet.
WHat if they land on something dodgy?
>
> (Ah, jeez)
>
> 17. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
> ????????????????????
> (I know some people like that.)
>
> 18. Starfish don't have brains.
>
SO that answers it female blonds must be half starfish.
> (I know some people like that too.)
>
> Fosbe. LoL!
Stryke wrote:
> RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Odd law...
>
> In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after
> midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
>
> How quality is that?!
>
> --
>
> Not quality at all. Note to self: Never go to Hereford.
Why not? You're not a WelshMAN, are you? :P
> RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Odd law...
>
> In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after
> midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
>
> How quality is that?!
>
> --
>
> Not quality at all. Note to self: Never go to Hereford.
Why not? You're not a WelshMAN, are you? :P
Heh, heh. Some of those were great and some were just daft.
:0)
:0)
I could do that.
Or I could napalm the entire place. Nothing says "Up yours" like napalm.
Or I could napalm the entire place. Nothing says "Up yours" like napalm.
Stryke are you welsh?? YOu see if you are dont tell anyone because then they wont kill you.
RastaBillySkank wrote:
> Odd law...
>
> In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after
> midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
>
> How quality is that?!
--
Not quality at all. Note to self: Never go to Hereford.
> Odd law...
>
> In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after
> midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
>
> How quality is that?!
--
Not quality at all. Note to self: Never go to Hereford.
$alvatore wrote:
> Lawless Fever wrote:
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
> So that means it is leagal for a man to have sex with his daughter?
> The mind boggles...
Doh!
errrr...i mean. er... Yay!
> Lawless Fever wrote:
>
> 8. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
> have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
> time.
> So that means it is leagal for a man to have sex with his daughter?
> The mind boggles...
Doh!
errrr...i mean. er... Yay!
Odd law...
In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
How quality is that?!
In Hereford, it's STILL legal to kill a Welshman, but only after midnight, on a full moon with a bow and arrow.
How quality is that?!
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