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You think I'm joking? You really believe that I am not a vampire? WEll I've got news for you! I am a vampire, and here's the proof:
Garlic: It is a well known fact, in every vampire based story, vampires hate garlic. I can't stand the damn stuff! I feel physically sick if I can smell it, and you should see how I react if I find traces of garlic on my pizza or anything else I eat. It's horrible stuff! No wonder other vampires hate it, I can't understand how humans can cook the stuff without feeling ill. Ah well, I'm not human, so as long as I can avoid it, I'll be happy.
Light: There's one time of year I really dislike. Summer. Sure, the heat's no good, but it's the constant sunlight throughout the majority of the day I really can't stand. I burn way too easily. Even in the winter when it's cloudy I can get sunburnt if I'm not wearing longsleeves. So why don't I burst into flames and turn to ashes in a matter of seconds? Well, two-hundred years ago I might've done, but the Carbon Dioxide levels in the air caused by human industry have created a kind of sunscreen for vampires. Still burns though!
Crosses: Contrary to popular belief, wooden crosses don't actually kill vampires, nor do they protect humans from them. They only thing we dislike about them is once snapped in half, hey presto, instant stake! You'd be suprised what a hardcore Christian peasant woman of medieval times would react once she realises there's a vampire nearby. Holy water ain't really holy either! All it is is a strong acid in a perfume sized bottle that corrodes our skin. Churches these days never use the real stuff when it comes to baptisms, it's just tapwater.
Blood: Sure, I suck blood. Full of iron. Though it's usually from a medium-to-rare steak, or my bottom lip which I sometimes bite by accidentally. I still prefer human food. Providing I drink a lot (of human beverages) I manage to keep myself alive. I faint at the site of my own blood because of it!
Death: According to most vampire stories, vampires die once beheaded, burnt to death and have a wooden stake inserted into the heart. Well, I'm pretty certain I would die by those means. I'm not going to test them to prove it to you, but until it happens, it's all guessing.
Night: I love the night, especially clear nights when you can see all the stars, a few of the planets and the big, bright full moon with it's illusion of a terrified face looking down at me, whilst the nocturnal creatures such as bats, owls and moths fly past. Even hearing the cats fight, seeing their eyes glow in the dark, and watcing them hunt gives me a soothing feeling. The air is different at night, seems cleaner, fresh, and the atmosphere very mysterious. That's why I love the dark.
So there we have it. Still think I'm joking? Well that's up to you, but I am a vampire. I'm not cursed by the 'powers that be' to have a soul, I'm not evil like 'Count Dracula' and I don't sleep in a coffin. That's all fairy tale stuff. I'm a vampire, and that's that.
Garlic: It is a well known fact, in every vampire based story, vampires hate garlic. I can't stand the damn stuff! I feel physically sick if I can smell it, and you should see how I react if I find traces of garlic on my pizza or anything else I eat. It's horrible stuff! No wonder other vampires hate it, I can't understand how humans can cook the stuff without feeling ill. Ah well, I'm not human, so as long as I can avoid it, I'll be happy.
Light: There's one time of year I really dislike. Summer. Sure, the heat's no good, but it's the constant sunlight throughout the majority of the day I really can't stand. I burn way too easily. Even in the winter when it's cloudy I can get sunburnt if I'm not wearing longsleeves. So why don't I burst into flames and turn to ashes in a matter of seconds? Well, two-hundred years ago I might've done, but the Carbon Dioxide levels in the air caused by human industry have created a kind of sunscreen for vampires. Still burns though!
Crosses: Contrary to popular belief, wooden crosses don't actually kill vampires, nor do they protect humans from them. They only thing we dislike about them is once snapped in half, hey presto, instant stake! You'd be suprised what a hardcore Christian peasant woman of medieval times would react once she realises there's a vampire nearby. Holy water ain't really holy either! All it is is a strong acid in a perfume sized bottle that corrodes our skin. Churches these days never use the real stuff when it comes to baptisms, it's just tapwater.
Blood: Sure, I suck blood. Full of iron. Though it's usually from a medium-to-rare steak, or my bottom lip which I sometimes bite by accidentally. I still prefer human food. Providing I drink a lot (of human beverages) I manage to keep myself alive. I faint at the site of my own blood because of it!
Death: According to most vampire stories, vampires die once beheaded, burnt to death and have a wooden stake inserted into the heart. Well, I'm pretty certain I would die by those means. I'm not going to test them to prove it to you, but until it happens, it's all guessing.
Night: I love the night, especially clear nights when you can see all the stars, a few of the planets and the big, bright full moon with it's illusion of a terrified face looking down at me, whilst the nocturnal creatures such as bats, owls and moths fly past. Even hearing the cats fight, seeing their eyes glow in the dark, and watcing them hunt gives me a soothing feeling. The air is different at night, seems cleaner, fresh, and the atmosphere very mysterious. That's why I love the dark.
So there we have it. Still think I'm joking? Well that's up to you, but I am a vampire. I'm not cursed by the 'powers that be' to have a soul, I'm not evil like 'Count Dracula' and I don't sleep in a coffin. That's all fairy tale stuff. I'm a vampire, and that's that.
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I freely admit to being a vampire only when there's a nice goth chick standing at the bar looking like she needs someone to buy her a drink.
I dunno what it is about goth chicks, the raven black hair, the raven black fingernails, the silver jewellery, the little tattoo they've got somewhere of a crucifix? They beat blondes every time.
I dunno what it is about goth chicks, the raven black hair, the raven black fingernails, the silver jewellery, the little tattoo they've got somewhere of a crucifix? They beat blondes every time.
First off, good to hear you're a Cardiff boy Edgy ;) Though I was born and live in the south east, my home will always be my country, I hope to play football for my country, despite the fact I can't play to save my life. I'd like to think I have a good chance eh?
Secondly, $alvatore, those point teeth you have, there called 'canine teeth,' most people have em, though of course they vary in size.
Thirdly, rather than necks, toes and breasts, I'm a bum man myself. Which leads me to another crazy accusation that the President of the 'Tango' company is really a vampire when their new slogan...>
"YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOTTIED"
...came onto the ads a couple of years back.
Ok well I thought it was funny.
Secondly, $alvatore, those point teeth you have, there called 'canine teeth,' most people have em, though of course they vary in size.
Thirdly, rather than necks, toes and breasts, I'm a bum man myself. Which leads me to another crazy accusation that the President of the 'Tango' company is really a vampire when their new slogan...>
"YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TOTTIED"
...came onto the ads a couple of years back.
Ok well I thought it was funny.
Lawless Fever wrote:
>
> Yeah right! People are as judgemental now as they were back then, if
> not more :P
Yeh we are more judgemental we just arent aloud to burn people anymore :( other wise we will go to prison, back then we would be hailed for killing a vampire. But now we would be picked on by the papers and would not be bale to go out in ot public or anything like that.
>
> Yeah right! People are as judgemental now as they were back then, if
> not more :P
Yeh we are more judgemental we just arent aloud to burn people anymore :( other wise we will go to prison, back then we would be hailed for killing a vampire. But now we would be picked on by the papers and would not be bale to go out in ot public or anything like that.
Aye, that be true.
The good thing is, once we've been invited once, we don't have to be invited again. It amazes me how banks, shops and the like, will let anyone in during opening hours. If they didn't let me in, they would be safe, but no, they've got no sense...
The good thing is, once we've been invited once, we don't have to be invited again. It amazes me how banks, shops and the like, will let anyone in during opening hours. If they didn't let me in, they would be safe, but no, they've got no sense...
Well, I think it's great that you can come out of the vampire closet... just don't go sucking my blood... And is the myth that vampires can't come in unless invited really true...? I always thought that would kinda suck... (no pun intended :D)
Good news is I haven't had anyone attack me with a stake yet.
Bad news is, it's sunny today....(makes a change for Cardiff mind...)
Bad news is, it's sunny today....(makes a change for Cardiff mind...)
Death: According to most vampire stories, vampires die once beheaded, burnt to death and have a wooden stake inserted into the heart. Well, I'm pretty certain I would die by those means. I'm not going to test them to prove it to you, but until it happens, it's all guessing.
wwonderful.
wwonderful.
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