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Well?
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MWAHAHA!
Daddy rabbit and Baby rabbit are crossing a country lane at 4am when a car comes along with full headlights turned on. Daddy rabbit freezes where he stands but Baby rabbit makes a bolt for the far verge and just makes it, but his tail is a little singed by the car's exhaust.
"That was dumb," says Daddy rabbit, "Hasn't Mummy rabbit taught you how to deal with oncoming traffic yet?"
Baby rabbit looks down at his paws and says "No, Daddy rabbit."
"OK!" says Daddy rabbit, here comes another car, I'll show you how it's done and talk you through it."
Baby rabbit looks excited and waits patiently at the verge on the far side of the road whilst Daddy rabbit explains what he's doing.
"Y'see son, the car's coming towards me, you can see those bright lights crawling along the road surface, yes?"
"Yes Daddy rabbit," says Baby rabbit, watching the approaching lights.
"Well, son, here's the trick...all you gotta do is turn and face the lights so that you are right between them, get your head down, and the car will pass straight over you, no problem!"
With this, Daddy rabbit turns to position himself between the headlights, gets his head down, and the car passes straight over him, squashing him into the tarmac.
"Daddy rabbit! Daddy rabbit!" shouts Baby rabbit, "Are you OK?"
"I need an ambulance, son," moans Daddy rabbit. "And don't forget one last thing, watch out for those bloody Robin Reliants."
"That was dumb," says Daddy rabbit, "Hasn't Mummy rabbit taught you how to deal with oncoming traffic yet?"
Baby rabbit looks down at his paws and says "No, Daddy rabbit."
"OK!" says Daddy rabbit, here comes another car, I'll show you how it's done and talk you through it."
Baby rabbit looks excited and waits patiently at the verge on the far side of the road whilst Daddy rabbit explains what he's doing.
"Y'see son, the car's coming towards me, you can see those bright lights crawling along the road surface, yes?"
"Yes Daddy rabbit," says Baby rabbit, watching the approaching lights.
"Well, son, here's the trick...all you gotta do is turn and face the lights so that you are right between them, get your head down, and the car will pass straight over you, no problem!"
With this, Daddy rabbit turns to position himself between the headlights, gets his head down, and the car passes straight over him, squashing him into the tarmac.
"Daddy rabbit! Daddy rabbit!" shouts Baby rabbit, "Are you OK?"
"I need an ambulance, son," moans Daddy rabbit. "And don't forget one last thing, watch out for those bloody Robin Reliants."
Q. What do you do if a bird craps on your windowscreen?
A. Don't ask her out again!
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Q. There where three women, a blonde, a brown haired and a red head and they all fell off the cliff, the brown haired and red head fell to the ground first and the blonde didn't for 2 days, whys that?
A. Because she had to stop and ask for directions!
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Q. There were three men in a field, a English man, a scotish man and a Welsh man. They saw a cow. The English man said, "Thats an English cow." then the Welsh man said "No, thats a Welsh cow." Then the Scottish man said "Ya both wrong, thats definatley a Scottish cow, look you can see the bagpipe hanging down from it!"
A. Don't ask her out again!
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Q. There where three women, a blonde, a brown haired and a red head and they all fell off the cliff, the brown haired and red head fell to the ground first and the blonde didn't for 2 days, whys that?
A. Because she had to stop and ask for directions!
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Q. There were three men in a field, a English man, a scotish man and a Welsh man. They saw a cow. The English man said, "Thats an English cow." then the Welsh man said "No, thats a Welsh cow." Then the Scottish man said "Ya both wrong, thats definatley a Scottish cow, look you can see the bagpipe hanging down from it!"
Some Rod hull jokes:
Q. What does Rod Hull and Emu have in common?
A. Neither of them can fly
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Q.Did you hear about Rod Hull's funeral?
A.The reception was awful!
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Q. What was Rod Hull's favorite musical?
A. Fiddler On The Roof
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Q. What does Rod Hull do his washing with?
A. Aerial and bounce
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Q. What's got four legs and goes "shhhhhhhhhh"?
A. Rod Hull's Telly.
Q. What does Rod Hull and Emu have in common?
A. Neither of them can fly
---------------
Q.Did you hear about Rod Hull's funeral?
A.The reception was awful!
--------------
Q. What was Rod Hull's favorite musical?
A. Fiddler On The Roof
---------------
Q. What does Rod Hull do his washing with?
A. Aerial and bounce
---------------
Q. What's got four legs and goes "shhhhhhhhhh"?
A. Rod Hull's Telly.
A penguin is driving through a town and his car breaks down. He goes to the nearest garage and the mechanic tells him he'll be about 30 minutes for fixing it. The penguin is told to make himself at home, so the penguin decides to walk into a supermarket and chillout in a freaser eating icecream. Half an hour later the penquin goes back to his car. The penguin says
"Whats the problem?" the mechanic replies
"Looks like you blew a seal" the penguin says
"No it's icecream.... really"
"Whats the problem?" the mechanic replies
"Looks like you blew a seal" the penguin says
"No it's icecream.... really"
What's long and thin,
Has a skin,
Is red in parts,
And goes in tarts?
Rhubarb (sp).
hehe he he hee heee hehe
Has a skin,
Is red in parts,
And goes in tarts?
Rhubarb (sp).
hehe he he hee heee hehe
right there was a priest on top of his steple due to that he was trying to get high coz of the flood below him, aboat came along and the fella said"hop in mate" the priest said no god will save me, so another boat came along and the fella said "Getr in mate" the then says "no God will Save me", so the boat goes away, a whil later a helicopter come and the person said "jump in, mate" the priest said "no god will save me" so the helicopter went away. next thing the priest wakes up in heaven and says to god "why am i dead" god replies "i sent you two boats and a helicopter, what else could you possibly want"
ok i got 1 good one
3 men walk into a bar and the bartender says "if all your diks make 20 inches u can have free beer for the rest of the night"
so they mesure them and the first mans is 10 inches, the second is 9 inch and the third mans is 1 inch so they get free beer.
later on that night they come out leathered and the first man ses, thank god my diks 10 inches, the second says hes glad his is 9 inches then the third replies, thank god i have a stiffi
please dont ban me for this message
3 men walk into a bar and the bartender says "if all your diks make 20 inches u can have free beer for the rest of the night"
so they mesure them and the first mans is 10 inches, the second is 9 inch and the third mans is 1 inch so they get free beer.
later on that night they come out leathered and the first man ses, thank god my diks 10 inches, the second says hes glad his is 9 inches then the third replies, thank god i have a stiffi
please dont ban me for this message
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