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Mrs. A. Jones from Llantwit Major was brutally attacked by a young teenager last week who wanted to steal her pension book. She is currently in hospital suffering from three broken ribs and shock. The Consultant Psychologist stated that the recovery process will be long and painful, and will require a lot of hard work from her and her family to get her back to her lovely self.
In a press conference held last Thursday, Jane Jones, her daughter, stated that "it was all thanks to Nintendo that she couldn't defend herself against the teenager who attacked her."
The police, along with full cooperation by Nintendo, investigated such matters and managed to figure out what had happened. Mrs Jones had been walking from her local newsagents where she buys her grandchildren sweets every time they visit. A young teenager, who for legal reasons cannot be named, had seen her come out of the shop with a larger handbag than when she entered and had challenged her for the sweets. She went to hit him with her handbag as most old age pensioners do, however the bag was filled mostly with Gelatine Cola Bottles which softened the blow allowing the teenager to attack her and steal her sweets.
"It is a terrible crime that has been committed, but is only one of many similar cases I've had to deal with," stated Police Chief William Bill. Many a pensioner has been attacked in similar ways when young teenagers realised that those handbags were nice and soft.
So how has this come to be? Well it turns out that Pensioners, ever since the late 1980's have been buying Game Boy's to stick inside their handbags as they are heavier and much more effective than a brick. These silver-gray boxes that delighted many a child throughout the years has been the main source of protection for grandmothers who want to guard the sweets they always buy for their loved ones.
However, since the invention of the Game Boy Pocket, that is a much better handheld than it's predocessor, and the release of the Game Boy Color and Advance, things have changed dramatically. New grandmothers
who didn't realise there was any difference have been buying them, placing them in their handbags, but because of their slim size and light weight, they have done nothing to thwart street crime. Even protestors have decided that they can not throw Game Boys through the windows of their local McDonalds franchises now that they've shrunk!
So there we have it, Nintendo who claim the cater for all ages, have stopped producing units for the very mature of us, and have caused a rise in Street Crime. Not very considerate of them, especially when their current owner, soon to retire, Hiroshi Yamauchi is in his 70's himself!
Fight Crime! Bring back the Game Boy!
In a press conference held last Thursday, Jane Jones, her daughter, stated that "it was all thanks to Nintendo that she couldn't defend herself against the teenager who attacked her."
The police, along with full cooperation by Nintendo, investigated such matters and managed to figure out what had happened. Mrs Jones had been walking from her local newsagents where she buys her grandchildren sweets every time they visit. A young teenager, who for legal reasons cannot be named, had seen her come out of the shop with a larger handbag than when she entered and had challenged her for the sweets. She went to hit him with her handbag as most old age pensioners do, however the bag was filled mostly with Gelatine Cola Bottles which softened the blow allowing the teenager to attack her and steal her sweets.
"It is a terrible crime that has been committed, but is only one of many similar cases I've had to deal with," stated Police Chief William Bill. Many a pensioner has been attacked in similar ways when young teenagers realised that those handbags were nice and soft.
So how has this come to be? Well it turns out that Pensioners, ever since the late 1980's have been buying Game Boy's to stick inside their handbags as they are heavier and much more effective than a brick. These silver-gray boxes that delighted many a child throughout the years has been the main source of protection for grandmothers who want to guard the sweets they always buy for their loved ones.
However, since the invention of the Game Boy Pocket, that is a much better handheld than it's predocessor, and the release of the Game Boy Color and Advance, things have changed dramatically. New grandmothers
who didn't realise there was any difference have been buying them, placing them in their handbags, but because of their slim size and light weight, they have done nothing to thwart street crime. Even protestors have decided that they can not throw Game Boys through the windows of their local McDonalds franchises now that they've shrunk!
So there we have it, Nintendo who claim the cater for all ages, have stopped producing units for the very mature of us, and have caused a rise in Street Crime. Not very considerate of them, especially when their current owner, soon to retire, Hiroshi Yamauchi is in his 70's himself!
Fight Crime! Bring back the Game Boy!
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I think they employ monkeys for that sort of thing. It's too dangerous for human's because of the height...
Edgy wrote:
> He's a magician, so he can :)
>
> He's going to abseil down it afterwards.
*
Wow! This is going to be really dangerous. I mean, even after eating his own head and freezing himself, standing on top of a PlayStation 2 for 32 hours is really something.
By the way... who's employed to clean all the windows on a PlayStation 2? That's gotta be one hell of a job!!
> He's a magician, so he can :)
>
> He's going to abseil down it afterwards.
*
Wow! This is going to be really dangerous. I mean, even after eating his own head and freezing himself, standing on top of a PlayStation 2 for 32 hours is really something.
By the way... who's employed to clean all the windows on a PlayStation 2? That's gotta be one hell of a job!!
He's a magician, so he can :)
He's going to abseil down it afterwards.
He's going to abseil down it afterwards.
Edgy wrote:
> I heard David Blaine is going to stand on top of a Playstation 2 for
> 32 hours!
*
That's definately his most outrageous stunt so far! I mean, the oxygen levels on top of a PlayStation 2 would be minimal!
> I heard David Blaine is going to stand on top of a Playstation 2 for
> 32 hours!
*
That's definately his most outrageous stunt so far! I mean, the oxygen levels on top of a PlayStation 2 would be minimal!
I heard David Blaine is going to stand on top of a Playstation 2 for 32 hours!
Edgy wrote:
> I know of a grandmother who used the Panasonic Q-cube to make toast
> and dispense Britvic soft drinks!
*
We live in a funny old world, don't we?
Oh, and sticking to my previous post regarding massively oversized consoles, did you know that the PlayStation 2 has now officially been named "The World's Tallest Skyscraper"?
> I know of a grandmother who used the Panasonic Q-cube to make toast
> and dispense Britvic soft drinks!
*
We live in a funny old world, don't we?
Oh, and sticking to my previous post regarding massively oversized consoles, did you know that the PlayStation 2 has now officially been named "The World's Tallest Skyscraper"?
I know of a grandmother who used the Panasonic Q-cube to make toast and dispense Britvic soft drinks!
Edgy wrote:
> That's very good of her. It shows the traditional ways are usually the
> best.
>
> My grandmother took it too far when she painted dots on her GameCube
> to use as a dice when playing Ludo.
*
That's nothing! I know of a grandmother who attached four wheels to an X-Box and now uses to as a pram whenever she's asked to babysit all four of her 6-month old grandchildren at once!
> That's very good of her. It shows the traditional ways are usually the
> best.
>
> My grandmother took it too far when she painted dots on her GameCube
> to use as a dice when playing Ludo.
*
That's nothing! I know of a grandmother who attached four wheels to an X-Box and now uses to as a pram whenever she's asked to babysit all four of her 6-month old grandchildren at once!
That's very good of her. It shows the traditional ways are usually the best.
My grandmother took it too far when she painted dots on her GameCube to use as a dice when playing Ludo.
My grandmother took it too far when she painted dots on her GameCube to use as a dice when playing Ludo.
Luckilly, my own grandmother has not been victim to any horrednous acts of crime and violence, such as the one you mentioned, since the Game Boy's production was ceased. She has always thought it better to use an actual brick for dealing with "roughians" because she is a firm believer in lifelong tradition and does not allow herself to give in to mob mentality when it comes to new and exciting ways of protecting your handbag and/or sweets.
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