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Mrs. A. Jones from Llantwit Major was brutally attacked by a young teenager last week who wanted to steal her pension book. She is currently in hospital suffering from three broken ribs and shock. The Consultant Psychologist stated that the recovery process will be long and painful, and will require a lot of hard work from her and her family to get her back to her lovely self.
In a press conference held last Thursday, Jane Jones, her daughter, stated that "it was all thanks to Nintendo that she couldn't defend herself against the teenager who attacked her."
The police, along with full cooperation by Nintendo, investigated such matters and managed to figure out what had happened. Mrs Jones had been walking from her local newsagents where she buys her grandchildren sweets every time they visit. A young teenager, who for legal reasons cannot be named, had seen her come out of the shop with a larger handbag than when she entered and had challenged her for the sweets. She went to hit him with her handbag as most old age pensioners do, however the bag was filled mostly with Gelatine Cola Bottles which softened the blow allowing the teenager to attack her and steal her sweets.
"It is a terrible crime that has been committed, but is only one of many similar cases I've had to deal with," stated Police Chief William Bill. Many a pensioner has been attacked in similar ways when young teenagers realised that those handbags were nice and soft.
So how has this come to be? Well it turns out that Pensioners, ever since the late 1980's have been buying Game Boy's to stick inside their handbags as they are heavier and much more effective than a brick. These silver-gray boxes that delighted many a child throughout the years has been the main source of protection for grandmothers who want to guard the sweets they always buy for their loved ones.
However, since the invention of the Game Boy Pocket, that is a much better handheld than it's predocessor, and the release of the Game Boy Color and Advance, things have changed dramatically. New grandmothers
who didn't realise there was any difference have been buying them, placing them in their handbags, but because of their slim size and light weight, they have done nothing to thwart street crime. Even protestors have decided that they can not throw Game Boys through the windows of their local McDonalds franchises now that they've shrunk!
So there we have it, Nintendo who claim the cater for all ages, have stopped producing units for the very mature of us, and have caused a rise in Street Crime. Not very considerate of them, especially when their current owner, soon to retire, Hiroshi Yamauchi is in his 70's himself!
Fight Crime! Bring back the Game Boy!
In a press conference held last Thursday, Jane Jones, her daughter, stated that "it was all thanks to Nintendo that she couldn't defend herself against the teenager who attacked her."
The police, along with full cooperation by Nintendo, investigated such matters and managed to figure out what had happened. Mrs Jones had been walking from her local newsagents where she buys her grandchildren sweets every time they visit. A young teenager, who for legal reasons cannot be named, had seen her come out of the shop with a larger handbag than when she entered and had challenged her for the sweets. She went to hit him with her handbag as most old age pensioners do, however the bag was filled mostly with Gelatine Cola Bottles which softened the blow allowing the teenager to attack her and steal her sweets.
"It is a terrible crime that has been committed, but is only one of many similar cases I've had to deal with," stated Police Chief William Bill. Many a pensioner has been attacked in similar ways when young teenagers realised that those handbags were nice and soft.
So how has this come to be? Well it turns out that Pensioners, ever since the late 1980's have been buying Game Boy's to stick inside their handbags as they are heavier and much more effective than a brick. These silver-gray boxes that delighted many a child throughout the years has been the main source of protection for grandmothers who want to guard the sweets they always buy for their loved ones.
However, since the invention of the Game Boy Pocket, that is a much better handheld than it's predocessor, and the release of the Game Boy Color and Advance, things have changed dramatically. New grandmothers
who didn't realise there was any difference have been buying them, placing them in their handbags, but because of their slim size and light weight, they have done nothing to thwart street crime. Even protestors have decided that they can not throw Game Boys through the windows of their local McDonalds franchises now that they've shrunk!
So there we have it, Nintendo who claim the cater for all ages, have stopped producing units for the very mature of us, and have caused a rise in Street Crime. Not very considerate of them, especially when their current owner, soon to retire, Hiroshi Yamauchi is in his 70's himself!
Fight Crime! Bring back the Game Boy!
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Me and Mark are a wierd pair of characters, ain't we :)
Er, ok.
*Whispers* Help me!
*Whispers* Help me!
Your genitals have once again been revealed to the world.
It comes to something when the most evil creature in the world has microscopic genatalia....
It comes to something when the most evil creature in the world has microscopic genatalia....
Edgy wrote:
> Ah, but in the day?
*
Well in that case, I'm totally stumped.
Damnit! Once again, too much information is revealled regarding my hideously (though hilariously) undersized genitals!
> Ah, but in the day?
*
Well in that case, I'm totally stumped.
Damnit! Once again, too much information is revealled regarding my hideously (though hilariously) undersized genitals!
Ah, but in the day?
Edgy wrote:
> Oh yeah, he looks like a Monkey so there's no need for the apology to
> him :)
*
Less of a monkey, more like a werewolf.
> Oh yeah, he looks like a Monkey so there's no need for the apology to
> him :)
*
Less of a monkey, more like a werewolf.
Oh yeah, he looks like a Monkey so there's no need for the apology to him :)
Edgy wrote:
> Hey, what about David Dickinson from Bargain Hunt?
*
Oh, a thousand pardons, Mr Dickinson! I'll send you a lovely antique doughnut maker by means of compensation.
> Hey, what about David Dickinson from Bargain Hunt?
*
Oh, a thousand pardons, Mr Dickinson! I'll send you a lovely antique doughnut maker by means of compensation.
Hey, what about David Dickinson from Bargain Hunt?
Edgy wrote:
> I think they employ monkeys for that sort of thing. It's too dangerous
> for human's because of the height...
*
I'm sure that the RSPCA would have a lot to say about that! It can't be legal to subject innocent monkeys to having to spend THAT long standing within 20 yards of a PlayStation 2, can it? That sort of thing is best left to "professionals" such as David Blaine and other famous "Davids" such as:
David Jason
David Copperfield
David Coultard
David Attenborough
The Bear in the Big Blue House (whose real name is apparently David)
> I think they employ monkeys for that sort of thing. It's too dangerous
> for human's because of the height...
*
I'm sure that the RSPCA would have a lot to say about that! It can't be legal to subject innocent monkeys to having to spend THAT long standing within 20 yards of a PlayStation 2, can it? That sort of thing is best left to "professionals" such as David Blaine and other famous "Davids" such as:
David Jason
David Copperfield
David Coultard
David Attenborough
The Bear in the Big Blue House (whose real name is apparently David)
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