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Part 1...
The scene opens with the crying of one baby Monkey Man. A gang of three enter the room.
T-Devil: Ahem.
Meka Dragon: Ohhh! Who are you?
T-Devil: We are three wise representatives of Special Reserve Inc.
Meka: What?!
T-Devil: We are three wise representatives of Special Reserve Inc.
Meka: Well, what are you doing creeping around a city zoo at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
Little Hedgehog: We are naturists.
T-Devil We have come from the East.
Meka: Is this some kind of joke?
MoJo: We wish to praise the infant primate.
T-Devil: We must pay homage to him.
Meka: Homage? You're all drunk. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!
T-Devil: No...
Meka: Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
MoJo: No, no. We must see him.
Meka: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
MoJo: We...
T-Devil: We were led by a web link.
Meka: Or led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!
T-Devil: Well...well, we must see him. We have brought presents.
Meka: Out!
MoJo: Bananas...Pornography...The Best of Bill Hicks video...
Meka: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is pornography, anyway?
Hedgehog: It is a valuable item for growing monkeys.
Monkey: A valuable item for growing monkeys? What are you giving him a valuable item for growing monkeys? It might bite him.
Hedgehog: What?
Meka: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
T-Devil: No, it isn't.
Meka: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
Hedgehog: No, no, no. It is a type of...entertainment.
Meka: Aww, there is an animal called a pornography,... or did I dream it? So, you're wise reps, are you? Well, what is he then?
MoJo: Hmm?
Meka: What member code is he?
MoJo: Uh, 370313
Meka: Uhh, 370313, eh? What does that mean?
MoJo: Ooh, but... he is the Notable, our Messiah.
T-Devil: King of the N00bs.
Meka: And that's 370...whatever, is it?
MoJo: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.
Meka: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.'
T-Devil: By what name are you calling him?
Meka: Uh, 'Man'.
Reps: We worship you, O Monkey Man, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Monkey Man, and to the Lord, our administrator. Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub.
Meka: Do you do a lot of this, then?
MoJo: What?
Meka: This praising.
MoJo: No, no. No, no.
Meka: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the bananas and Bill Hicks tapes, er, but don't worry too much about the pornography next time.
Monkey Man looks at Meka in destain.
Meka: All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
The reps leave.
Meka: Look at that. Hoo hoo hoo.
The reps return and grab presents.
Meka: Here! Here! Here, that...that's mine! Hee. Hey, you just gave me that! Oh.
Monkey Man cries.
Meka: Shut up.
Meka smacks MM.
The babe they called 'Man',
He grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
Grew up to be...grew up to be
A monkey called 'Man'--
A monkey called 'Man'.
He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet,
This monkey... whose name was 'Man',
And he grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
Grew up to be...
Yes, he grew up to be
A primate called 'Man'...
A primate called 'Man',
And his face became snotty.
Yes, his face became snotty,
And his voice dropped down low
And things started to grow
On young Man and so
He was certainly no...
No girl named 'Man',
Not a girl named 'Man'.
And he started to shave
And have one off the wrist
And want to see girls
And go out and get p'ssed,
A monkey called 'Man'--
This monkey called 'Man'--
The monkey they called 'Man'--
This monkey called 'Man'!
Ahh!
Part two coming soon...
The scene opens with the crying of one baby Monkey Man. A gang of three enter the room.
T-Devil: Ahem.
Meka Dragon: Ohhh! Who are you?
T-Devil: We are three wise representatives of Special Reserve Inc.
Meka: What?!
T-Devil: We are three wise representatives of Special Reserve Inc.
Meka: Well, what are you doing creeping around a city zoo at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.
Little Hedgehog: We are naturists.
T-Devil We have come from the East.
Meka: Is this some kind of joke?
MoJo: We wish to praise the infant primate.
T-Devil: We must pay homage to him.
Meka: Homage? You're all drunk. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!
T-Devil: No...
Meka: Bursting in here with tales about oriental fortune tellers. Come on. Out!
MoJo: No, no. We must see him.
Meka: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!
MoJo: We...
T-Devil: We were led by a web link.
Meka: Or led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!
T-Devil: Well...well, we must see him. We have brought presents.
Meka: Out!
MoJo: Bananas...Pornography...The Best of Bill Hicks video...
Meka: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is pornography, anyway?
Hedgehog: It is a valuable item for growing monkeys.
Monkey: A valuable item for growing monkeys? What are you giving him a valuable item for growing monkeys? It might bite him.
Hedgehog: What?
Meka: That's a dangerous animal. Quick! Throw it in the trough.
T-Devil: No, it isn't.
Meka: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...
Hedgehog: No, no, no. It is a type of...entertainment.
Meka: Aww, there is an animal called a pornography,... or did I dream it? So, you're wise reps, are you? Well, what is he then?
MoJo: Hmm?
Meka: What member code is he?
MoJo: Uh, 370313
Meka: Uhh, 370313, eh? What does that mean?
MoJo: Ooh, but... he is the Notable, our Messiah.
T-Devil: King of the N00bs.
Meka: And that's 370...whatever, is it?
MoJo: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.
Meka: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.'
T-Devil: By what name are you calling him?
Meka: Uh, 'Man'.
Reps: We worship you, O Monkey Man, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Monkey Man, and to the Lord, our administrator. Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub.
Meka: Do you do a lot of this, then?
MoJo: What?
Meka: This praising.
MoJo: No, no. No, no.
Meka: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the bananas and Bill Hicks tapes, er, but don't worry too much about the pornography next time.
Monkey Man looks at Meka in destain.
Meka: All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
The reps leave.
Meka: Look at that. Hoo hoo hoo.
The reps return and grab presents.
Meka: Here! Here! Here, that...that's mine! Hee. Hey, you just gave me that! Oh.
Monkey Man cries.
Meka: Shut up.
Meka smacks MM.
The babe they called 'Man',
He grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
Grew up to be...grew up to be
A monkey called 'Man'--
A monkey called 'Man'.
He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet,
This monkey... whose name was 'Man',
And he grew,... grew, grew, and grew--
Grew up to be...
Yes, he grew up to be
A primate called 'Man'...
A primate called 'Man',
And his face became snotty.
Yes, his face became snotty,
And his voice dropped down low
And things started to grow
On young Man and so
He was certainly no...
No girl named 'Man',
Not a girl named 'Man'.
And he started to shave
And have one off the wrist
And want to see girls
And go out and get p'ssed,
A monkey called 'Man'--
This monkey called 'Man'--
The monkey they called 'Man'--
This monkey called 'Man'!
Ahh!
Part two coming soon...
Page:
Part 5...
MM: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Meka: Oh, stop thinking about sex.
MM: I wasn't.
Meka: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night. 'Will the girls like this?' 'Will the girls like that?' 'Is it too big?' 'Is it too small?'
Hercules: Spare a shekel.
er-no: God bless you, sir.
big slow: Alms for a leper.
Or†ega: Alms for a leper.
AbsoluT Neó: Alms for an ex-leper. Bloody donkey owners. All the same, aren't they? Never have any change. Oh, here's a touch. Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: Buzz off!
AbsoluT Neó: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month.
AbsoluT Neó: Half a talent, then.
Meka: No, go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Come on, Big Nose. Let's haggle.
MM: What?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred.
MM: No.
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-fifty?
Meka: Go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-forty.
Meka: Look. Will you leave him alone?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Two shekels. Just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
Meka: Look. He's not giving you any money, so p'ss off!
AbsoluT Neó: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
MM: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
AbsoluT Neó: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
MM: Well, what happened?
AbsoluT Neó: I was cured, sir.
MM: Cured?
AbsoluT Neó: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
MM: Who cured you?
AbsoluT Neó: Some Notable did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.'.... Bloody do-gooder.
MM: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
AbsoluT Neó: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the @rse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh...
Meka: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
MM: There you are.
AbsoluT Neó: Thank you, sir. Thanks... Half a denary for me bloody life story?
MM: There's no pleasing some people.
AbsoluT Neó: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
TBC...
MM: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Meka: Oh, stop thinking about sex.
MM: I wasn't.
Meka: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night. 'Will the girls like this?' 'Will the girls like that?' 'Is it too big?' 'Is it too small?'
Hercules: Spare a shekel.
er-no: God bless you, sir.
big slow: Alms for a leper.
Or†ega: Alms for a leper.
AbsoluT Neó: Alms for an ex-leper. Bloody donkey owners. All the same, aren't they? Never have any change. Oh, here's a touch. Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: Buzz off!
AbsoluT Neó: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month.
AbsoluT Neó: Half a talent, then.
Meka: No, go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Come on, Big Nose. Let's haggle.
MM: What?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred.
MM: No.
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-fifty?
Meka: Go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-forty.
Meka: Look. Will you leave him alone?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Two shekels. Just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
Meka: Look. He's not giving you any money, so p'ss off!
AbsoluT Neó: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
MM: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
AbsoluT Neó: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
MM: Well, what happened?
AbsoluT Neó: I was cured, sir.
MM: Cured?
AbsoluT Neó: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
MM: Who cured you?
AbsoluT Neó: Some Notable did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.'.... Bloody do-gooder.
MM: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
AbsoluT Neó: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the @rse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh...
Meka: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
MM: There you are.
AbsoluT Neó: Thank you, sir. Thanks... Half a denary for me bloody life story?
MM: There's no pleasing some people.
AbsoluT Neó: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
TBC...
Part 5...
MM: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Meka: Oh, stop thinking about sex.
MM: I wasn't.
Meka: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night. 'Will the girls like this?' 'Will the girls like that?' 'Is it too big?' 'Is it too small?'
Hercules: Spare a shekel.
er-no: God bless you, sir.
big slow: Alms for a leper.
Or†ega: Alms for a leper.
AbsoluT Neó: Alms for an ex-leper. Bloody donkey owners. All the same, aren't they? Never have any change. Oh, here's a touch. Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: Buzz off!
AbsoluT Neó: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month.
AbsoluT Neó: Half a talent, then.
Meka: No, go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Come on, Big Nose. Let's haggle.
MM: What?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred.
MM: No.
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-fifty?
Meka: Go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-forty.
Meka: Look. Will you leave him alone?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Two shekels. Just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
Meka: Look. He's not giving you any money, so p'ss off!
AbsoluT Neó: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
MM: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
AbsoluT Neó: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
MM: Well, what happened?
AbsoluT Neó: I was cured, sir.
MM: Cured?
AbsoluT Neó: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
MM: Who cured you?
AbsoluT Neó: Some Notable did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.'.... Bloody do-gooder.
MM: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
AbsoluT Neó: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the @rse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh...
Meka: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
MM: There you are.
AbsoluT Neó: Thank you, sir. Thanks... Half a denary for me bloody life story?
MM: There's no pleasing some people.
AbsoluT Neó: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
TBC...
MM: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Meka: Oh, stop thinking about sex.
MM: I wasn't.
Meka: You're always on about it... morning, noon, and night. 'Will the girls like this?' 'Will the girls like that?' 'Is it too big?' 'Is it too small?'
Hercules: Spare a shekel.
er-no: God bless you, sir.
big slow: Alms for a leper.
Or†ega: Alms for a leper.
AbsoluT Neó: Alms for an ex-leper. Bloody donkey owners. All the same, aren't they? Never have any change. Oh, here's a touch. Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: Buzz off!
AbsoluT Neó: Spare a talent for an old ex-leper.
Meka: A talent? That's more than he earns in a month.
AbsoluT Neó: Half a talent, then.
Meka: No, go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Come on, Big Nose. Let's haggle.
MM: What?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Cut the haggling. Say you open at one shekel. I start at two thousand. We close about eighteen hundred.
MM: No.
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-fifty?
Meka: Go away!
AbsoluT Neó: Seventeen-forty.
Meka: Look. Will you leave him alone?
AbsoluT Neó: All right. Two shekels. Just two. Isn't this fun, eh?
Meka: Look. He's not giving you any money, so p'ss off!
AbsoluT Neó: All right, sir. My final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper.
MM: Did you say... 'ex-leper'?
AbsoluT Neó: That's right, sir. Sixteen years behind the bell, and proud of it, sir.
MM: Well, what happened?
AbsoluT Neó: I was cured, sir.
MM: Cured?
AbsoluT Neó: Yes, sir, a bloody miracle, sir. God bless you.
MM: Who cured you?
AbsoluT Neó: Some Notable did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me. One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by your leave. 'You're cured mate.'.... Bloody do-gooder.
MM: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again?
AbsoluT Neó: Ah, yeah. I could do that, sir. Yeah. Yeah, I could do that, I suppose. What I was thinking was, I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the middle of the week. You know, something beggable, but not leprosy, which is a pain in the @rse, to be blunt. Excuse my French, sir, but, uh...
Meka: Brian! Come and clean your room out.
MM: There you are.
AbsoluT Neó: Thank you, sir. Thanks... Half a denary for me bloody life story?
MM: There's no pleasing some people.
AbsoluT Neó: That's just what Jesus said, sir.
TBC...
Part 4...
A crowd of woman are yelling.
Badgerman: Melons, son of Deuteronomy of Juice.
Juicy Melons: Do I say 'yes'?
Mr Nice Guy: Yes.
Juicy Melons: Yes.
Badgerman: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord Notable, and so, as a blasphemer,...
Crowd: Ooooh!
Badgerman: ...you are to be stoned to death.
Crowd: Ahh!
JM: Look. I...I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Tony.'
Crowd: Oooooh!
Badgerman: Blasphemy! He's said it again!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!...
Badgerman: Did you hear him?!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...
MJSwerve: Really!
The crowd go silent.
Badgerman: Are there any women here today?
Crowd: No. No. No. No...
Badgerman: Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me...
CDouch stones JM.
JM: Oww! Lay off! We haven't started yet!
Badgerman: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.
Crowd: She did! She did! He did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He did.
CDouch: Sorry. I thought we'd started.
Badgerman: Go to the back.
CD: Oh, dear.
Badgerman: Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?
JM: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying 'Tony'.
Crowd: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!...
Badgerman: You're only making it worse for yourself!
JM: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Tony! Tony! Tony!
Crowd: Oooooh!...
Badgerman: I'm warning you. If you say 'Tony' once more...
Mouldy Cheese stones Badgerman.
Badgerman: Right. Who threw that?
JM laughs, and then there is silence.
Badgerman: Come on. Who threw that?
Crowd: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
Badgerman: Was it you?
Mouldy Cheese: Yes.
Badgerman: Right!
MC: Well, you did say 'Tony'.
Crowd: Ah! Ooooh!...
The crowd stone MC.
Badgerman: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Tony'.
Crowd: Ooooooh!...
The crowd stone Badgerman.
MJSwerve: Good shot!
The crowd clap.
A crowd of woman are yelling.
Badgerman: Melons, son of Deuteronomy of Juice.
Juicy Melons: Do I say 'yes'?
Mr Nice Guy: Yes.
Juicy Melons: Yes.
Badgerman: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord Notable, and so, as a blasphemer,...
Crowd: Ooooh!
Badgerman: ...you are to be stoned to death.
Crowd: Ahh!
JM: Look. I...I'd had a lovely supper, and all I said to my wife was, 'That piece of halibut was good enough for Tony.'
Crowd: Oooooh!
Badgerman: Blasphemy! He's said it again!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!...
Badgerman: Did you hear him?!
Crowd: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!...
MJSwerve: Really!
The crowd go silent.
Badgerman: Are there any women here today?
Crowd: No. No. No. No...
Badgerman: Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me...
CDouch stones JM.
JM: Oww! Lay off! We haven't started yet!
Badgerman: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Come on.
Crowd: She did! She did! He did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He did.
CDouch: Sorry. I thought we'd started.
Badgerman: Go to the back.
CD: Oh, dear.
Badgerman: Always one, isn't there? Now, where were we?
JM: Look. I don't think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying 'Tony'.
Crowd: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!...
Badgerman: You're only making it worse for yourself!
JM: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Tony! Tony! Tony!
Crowd: Oooooh!...
Badgerman: I'm warning you. If you say 'Tony' once more...
Mouldy Cheese stones Badgerman.
Badgerman: Right. Who threw that?
JM laughs, and then there is silence.
Badgerman: Come on. Who threw that?
Crowd: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
Badgerman: Was it you?
Mouldy Cheese: Yes.
Badgerman: Right!
MC: Well, you did say 'Tony'.
Crowd: Ah! Ooooh!...
The crowd stone MC.
Badgerman: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Tony'.
Crowd: Ooooooh!...
The crowd stone Badgerman.
MJSwerve: Good shot!
The crowd clap.
Part 3...
Meka: Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
MM: Why aren't bisexuals allowed go to stonings, Mum?
Meka: It's written. That's why.
Ant: Pssst! Beard...madam?
Grix Thraves: Oh, look. I haven't got time to go to no stonings. He's not well again.
His donkey wheases.
Ant: Stones, sir?
Meka: Naah. They've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
Ant: Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this. Feel the quality of that. That's craftsmanship, sir.
Meka: Hmmm. Aah, all right. We'll have, uh, two with points and... a big flat one.
MM: Could I have a flat one, Mum?
Meka: Shh!
MM: Sorry. Dad.
Meka: Ehh, all right. Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel.
Ant: Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this afternoon.
Meka: Hehh?
Ant: Local boy.
Meka: Oh, good.
Ant: Enjoy yourselves.
Part 4 coming soon...
Meka: Ohh, I hate wearing these beards.
MM: Why aren't bisexuals allowed go to stonings, Mum?
Meka: It's written. That's why.
Ant: Pssst! Beard...madam?
Grix Thraves: Oh, look. I haven't got time to go to no stonings. He's not well again.
His donkey wheases.
Ant: Stones, sir?
Meka: Naah. They've got a lot there, lying around on the ground.
Ant: Oh, not like these, sir. Look at this. Feel the quality of that. That's craftsmanship, sir.
Meka: Hmmm. Aah, all right. We'll have, uh, two with points and... a big flat one.
MM: Could I have a flat one, Mum?
Meka: Shh!
MM: Sorry. Dad.
Meka: Ehh, all right. Two points, ah, two flats, and a packet of gravel.
Ant: Packet of gravel. Should be a good one this afternoon.
Meka: Hehh?
Ant: Local boy.
Meka: Oh, good.
Ant: Enjoy yourselves.
Part 4 coming soon...
Part 2...
Mystique: How blest are those who know that He's a god. How blest are the sorrowful. They shall find consolation. How blest are those of gentle spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession. How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail. They shall be satisfied. How blest are those whose hearts are pure. They shall see God...
Meka: Speak up!
Monkey Man: Quiet, Mum.
Mystique: How blest are those of gentle...
Meka: Well, I can't hear a thing.
Mystique: ...spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession.
Meka: Let's go t' the stoning.
Mystique: How blest are those...
Sheepy: Shh.
Mystique: ...who hunger and thirst...
MM: You can go to a stoning any time.
Mystique: ...to see right...
Meka: Oh, come on, Man.
Mystique: ...prevail.
IB: Will you be quiet?!
Mystique: How blest are they who have suffered much...
RM18: Don't pick your nose.
IB: I wasn't picking my nose. I was scratching.
RM18: You was picking it, while you was talking to that lady.
IB: I wasn't!
RM18: Leave it alone. Give it a rest.
Your Honour: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.
RM18: Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.
Your Honour: Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can't hear a bloody thing.
IB: Don't you swear at my wife.
Your Honour: I was only asking her to shut up, so I can hear what he's saying, Big Nose.
RM18: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'!
Your Honour: Well, he has got a big nose.
Microchips: Could you be quiet, please?
Mystique: They shall have the earth...
Microchips: What was that?
Mystique: ...for their possession. How blest are those...
Your Honour: I don't know. I was too busy talking to IB.
Mystique: ...who hunger and thirst to see...
VenomByte: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'
Mystique: ...right prevail.
Rickoss: Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
Venombyte: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Your Honour: See? If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big Nose.
Mystique: How blest are those who...
IB: Hey. Say that once more; I'll smash your bloody face in.
Rickoss: Ohh.
Your Honour: Better keep listening. Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big noses.'
MM: Oh, lay off him.
Your Honour: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface. Where are you two from? Nose City?
IB: One more time, mate; I'll take you to the f@ckin' cleaners!
RM18: Language!
Mystique: ...hunger and thirst to see...
RM18: And don't pick your nose.
Mystique: ...right prevail.
IB: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him!
Stryke: You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.
Microchips: The Greek?
Stryke: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.
Microchips: Did anyone catch his name?
RM18: You're not going to thump anybody.
IB: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.
Your Honour: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.
IB: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard...
RM18: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.
YH: Listen. I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose.
IB: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I've finished with you!
Stryke: Shhh.
YH: Well, who hit yours, then? Goliath's big brother?
IB: Oh. Right. That's your last warning.
Rickoss: Oh, do pipe down.
IB slugs Rick.
IB and VB fight
VB: Oh!
Rickoss: Awa?
IB: Silly b'tch. Get in the way on me?...
Rick: Ow!...
IB: Break it up-- oh. Oh!
Meka: Oh, come on. Let's go to the stoning.
MM: All right.
AfroJoe: Well, blessed is just about everyone with a vested interest in the status quo, as far as I can tell, KR.
KR: Yeah. Well, what Man blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
Longy: Yes, yes. Absolutely, KR. Yes, I see.
Meka: Oh, come on, Man, or they'll have stoned him before we get there.
MM: All right.
Your Honour: Hey. Get off her. That's disgusting. Stop trying to do that. Hey, officer, intervene here. Attempted rape going on. It's the chap with the big nose's fault. He started it all.
To Be Continued...
Mystique: How blest are those who know that He's a god. How blest are the sorrowful. They shall find consolation. How blest are those of gentle spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession. How blest are those who hunger and thirst to see right prevail. They shall be satisfied. How blest are those whose hearts are pure. They shall see God...
Meka: Speak up!
Monkey Man: Quiet, Mum.
Mystique: How blest are those of gentle...
Meka: Well, I can't hear a thing.
Mystique: ...spirit. They shall have the earth for their possession.
Meka: Let's go t' the stoning.
Mystique: How blest are those...
Sheepy: Shh.
Mystique: ...who hunger and thirst...
MM: You can go to a stoning any time.
Mystique: ...to see right...
Meka: Oh, come on, Man.
Mystique: ...prevail.
IB: Will you be quiet?!
Mystique: How blest are they who have suffered much...
RM18: Don't pick your nose.
IB: I wasn't picking my nose. I was scratching.
RM18: You was picking it, while you was talking to that lady.
IB: I wasn't!
RM18: Leave it alone. Give it a rest.
Your Honour: Do you mind? I can't hear a word he's saying.
RM18: Don't you 'do you mind' me. I was talking to my husband.
Your Honour: Well, go and talk to him somewhere else. I can't hear a bloody thing.
IB: Don't you swear at my wife.
Your Honour: I was only asking her to shut up, so I can hear what he's saying, Big Nose.
RM18: Don't you call my husband 'Big Nose'!
Your Honour: Well, he has got a big nose.
Microchips: Could you be quiet, please?
Mystique: They shall have the earth...
Microchips: What was that?
Mystique: ...for their possession. How blest are those...
Your Honour: I don't know. I was too busy talking to IB.
Mystique: ...who hunger and thirst to see...
VenomByte: I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers.'
Mystique: ...right prevail.
Rickoss: Ahh, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
Venombyte: Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
Your Honour: See? If you hadn't been going on, we'd have heard that, Big Nose.
Mystique: How blest are those who...
IB: Hey. Say that once more; I'll smash your bloody face in.
Rickoss: Ohh.
Your Honour: Better keep listening. Might be a bit about 'Blessed are the big noses.'
MM: Oh, lay off him.
Your Honour: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, Conkface. Where are you two from? Nose City?
IB: One more time, mate; I'll take you to the f@ckin' cleaners!
RM18: Language!
Mystique: ...hunger and thirst to see...
RM18: And don't pick your nose.
Mystique: ...right prevail.
IB: I wasn't going to pick my nose. I was going to thump him!
Stryke: You hear that? Blessed are the Greek.
Microchips: The Greek?
Stryke: Mmm. Well, apparently, he's going to inherit the earth.
Microchips: Did anyone catch his name?
RM18: You're not going to thump anybody.
IB: I'll thump him if he calls me 'Big Nose' again.
Your Honour: Oh, shut up, Big Nose.
IB: Ah! All right. I warned you. I really will slug you so hard...
RM18: Oh, it's the meek! Blessed are the meek! Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I'm glad they're getting something, 'cause they have a hell of a time.
YH: Listen. I'm only telling the truth. You have got a very big nose.
IB: Hey. Your nose is going to be three foot wide across your face by the time I've finished with you!
Stryke: Shhh.
YH: Well, who hit yours, then? Goliath's big brother?
IB: Oh. Right. That's your last warning.
Rickoss: Oh, do pipe down.
IB slugs Rick.
IB and VB fight
VB: Oh!
Rickoss: Awa?
IB: Silly b'tch. Get in the way on me?...
Rick: Ow!...
IB: Break it up-- oh. Oh!
Meka: Oh, come on. Let's go to the stoning.
MM: All right.
AfroJoe: Well, blessed is just about everyone with a vested interest in the status quo, as far as I can tell, KR.
KR: Yeah. Well, what Man blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
Longy: Yes, yes. Absolutely, KR. Yes, I see.
Meka: Oh, come on, Man, or they'll have stoned him before we get there.
MM: All right.
Your Honour: Hey. Get off her. That's disgusting. Stop trying to do that. Hey, officer, intervene here. Attempted rape going on. It's the chap with the big nose's fault. He started it all.
To Be Continued...
I'm scared...
Good, but just too WEIRD! Heh
Good, but just too WEIRD! Heh
Lol- that was great LF! Really funny!
*eagerly awaits part two*
*eagerly awaits part two*
Great story Brother James. I'm in it :P Yay.
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