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"What's best? PS2, Gamecube or XBOX?"

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Wed 22/05/02 at 18:17
Regular
Posts: 787
'What is the best console?'

That right, console wars,
But this time there is a twist! What console is the best at....

Being a weapon?
The XBOX would be the immediate choice of anybody who had to take part in a 'console war' due to it's size and weight. The most defensive console out of the three. The controllers also make very good projectile weapons. This is due to the large size, the weight and the grip on the outside. You can easily throw this controller like a frisbee, could this be the new weapon for the modern 'Oddjob?'
Gamecube comes in strong too, the handle on the back means that you will be able to get maximum swinging power before wacking your enemy in the head. A great weapon for the 'agile fighter'.
PS2 comes in as the worst out of the three, the controller is easily smashed to pieces by the brute of the XBOX and the unit is not heavy or large enough to do any real damage to your opponents. Best for the 'hit and run' technique.

Most useful around the house?
XBOX comes around very handy by being able to take the weight of most objects. Exremely useful as a step, you can use this to stand on to reach those shelves that you just can't reach normally.
PS2 is a very handy drink holder, just push a button and out comes the holder. To keep space waste to a minimum, this holder conveniently folds back inside the unit when you have finished.
The Gamecube is very handy for formal dinners when you have guests around. Have you ever got frustrated because you have got 4 candles but havn't got a 4 candle holder? Well the Gamecube's convenient design will allow you place it on the table on it's side and it will very happily house 4 candles. It also has a hidden compartment on the side that will allow you store more candles.

Sports?
Don't be stupid, consoles can't play sports!

Making up a new sport?
Thats better! There are many games that can be played with the 3 consoles, here I have picked out the best games for each:
XBOX Weightlifting - A game of physical and mental strength, how many XBOX's can you lift at once. Pile one box on top of another until you cannot lift any more. The world record is 4...
PS2 Lob - In this great game, you have got to grab the controller with both hands and swing round in circles until you have got enough speed. Once you feel you have got enough speed, you can let go of the controller. The person who can throw the console the furthest is the winner.
Gamecube Curling - This game is very similar to curling and is played on ice. First person grabs console by handle and pushes it along the ice. The person who can get nearest to the centre mark is the winner. Just for added exitement, players on the opposing side can throw copies of South Park for the N64 at the console to try and put it off course. (At £39.99 per game though this option does not come cheap, but it is at least a use for the game!) The lid can be opened to give extra curl to the unit.

Random Tasks?
The Gamecube is very handy for childrens stilts. Their feet can be strapped under the handles allowing them to walk around like a giant. Gives children hours of fun making them feel bigger.
The XBOX is very useful as a nuclear warhead. The green glow coming from the box isn't a natural glow, it is highly radioactive plutonium. This console can be dropped onto any enemy target releasing enough power to demolish a small building.
The PS2 can be used as a torture device. Due to the lack of any safety features on it, many evil things can be carried out by it. A favourite is putting the victims hand into the disk bit and closing it. The sharp edges to the hole inside the closing compartment is sharp enough to sever the hand off and the lack of any safety devices to stop it from closing means the hand can be cut right off. This can be repeated with other parts of the body.

Overall though, each console has it's good uses and it is very hard to decide a winner so it will have to be a draw. I just can't decide which is the best!

You'll have to choose...
Wed 22/05/02 at 21:16
Regular
Posts: 3,082
yeah i read it mate, good stuff.

i meant he copies reviews off the net. but he aint won a gad yet but he will eventually. go to the wlt in the sony forum to see my reasons why i think he does.
Wed 22/05/02 at 21:13
Regular
"Bobba you"
Posts: 1,767
Phi11ip wrote:
> Did he actually win by posting a copied review?

No by SOE cheats.

What did you mean Quinty?

Read my spoof please Quinty your in it.
Wed 22/05/02 at 21:10
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
Did he actually win by posting a copied review?
Wed 22/05/02 at 20:58
Regular
Posts: 3,082
®eDpAtH²°°2 wrote:
> Quinty wrote:
> yeah er that makes sense does'nt it reynolds eh?
>
> You really do hate him dont ya?

nah he just cheats, see my post in the sony wlt
Wed 22/05/02 at 20:52
Regular
"Bobba you"
Posts: 1,767
Quinty wrote:
> yeah er that makes sense does'nt it reynolds eh?

You really do hate him dont ya?
Wed 22/05/02 at 20:42
Regular
Posts: 15,579
Hmmmmm...I was actually thinking about the handle making the GameCube a really good weapon the other day. Cube is actually pretty heavy considering its size as well.

Its also cool cos it means you never get any fingerprints on the actual Cube :)

PS2 would be best for smacking someone over the head though...its more or less the size of a large book!
Wed 22/05/02 at 20:40
Regular
"Link to the Future"
Posts: 719
I'll make a sensible comment, when I've thought of one.
Wed 22/05/02 at 20:30
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
3 posts! 1 is just a stupid comment about how PS2 is the best, another makes no sense and the third is just moaning about the first comment!

:C(
Wed 22/05/02 at 19:25
Regular
Posts: 3,082
yeah er that makes sense does'nt it reynolds eh?
Wed 22/05/02 at 19:24
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
very nice, but you needed some sort of scoring system, much like this:
Test 1 Test 2 Test 3
PS2 67 84 21
Cube 59 3 77778
Xbox 76 134 76

as you can plainly see, this scoring system makes no sense, and there is no clear winner because you need a category entitled "tastiest console"
as far as i can tell, they all taste like matal, plastic and... burning

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