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I posted it in here cos the people who wanted to be in mostly hung around in this forum so here goe's.
Scene 1: The Introduction
It was 4:00 pm, in England it was pouring it down with rain as usual. In a run down old shoe factory there was a man named Iron M sitting in a chair, gripping a Budweiser in his left hand and a cigar in the other while watching England v Sweden on his little pocket T.V. “Come on England!” He shouted
Iron M: Oh good god! I’m missing the news
So then he turned to BBC 1
Then he saw that it was his time to get heading to the bank, so then he downed his bud threw his cigar in the rubbish pile which was full of Budweiser cans and Mc Donald rappers. Then he grabbed his double barrel shot gun and gripped it with anger and pulled it back to reload it.
Iron M: Time for action!
Then he headed to his old Ford escort, falling over in a pothole on the way.
Iron M: Ahya! Man that hurt goddamn potholes.
*He thinks to his self*
Iron M: Do moles form them?
Then he drives off down the road with his car bouncing up and down cos off the potholes. Then he sees Grix and lets him in.
Iron M: Yo Grix.
Grix: Don’t talk to me you freak.
Iron M: Ok sorry what’s up with you?
Grix: Well I’m a bit peeded off cos I have to work with you!
Iron M: Oh weren’t my fault Mojo picked us as partners.
Grix: Damn him!
Grix: Where’s your weapon?
Iron M: Damn! I left it behind
Grix: Oh for petes sake! Turn round *sighs*
So Iron M turns round and fetches his weapon.
Then he gets back in the escort.
Iron M: Can you smell that?
Grix: Yeah smells like something’s burning
Iron M: Eh well lets just carry on with the.
Then they approach the bank.
Grix: This is it.
Iron M: Ovcorse it is, this is where Mojo told us to meet rite?
Grix: Yes!
Then Mojo approaches the car.
Mojo: Hi lads Where all ready. Put on your gear.
Iron M: Where sir?
Mojo: I never thought off that, emm…. In the Mc Donald toilets
Grix: What?! Don’t think so.
Iron M: I’m up for it
Mojo: Good lad, I new I could count on you.
Grix: Bah!
Mojo: Excuse me
Grix: Nothing sir
Mojo: Well what ya waiting for?
Iron M: You sir
Mojo: Just get one with it you fool!
So Grix and Iron M walk towards the Mc Donolds
Scene 3: Mc donolds
Mc donolds employee: Well how can I help you?
Grix: By sodding off
Mc donolds employee: Well look here mister if you…
Grix: Go on
Grix reads nametag
Grix: So your names Micro eh?
Micro: That’s rite.
Grix: I’m just gonna go to the toilet.
Micro*Looks puzzled*
Grix walks over to Iron M.
Grix: you stay there why I get changed.
Iron M: Okay.
Grix: Don’t do any thing stupid.
Iron M: I wont. Scout promise *Puts to fingers on side off head*
Grix: Yeah whatever.
Then Iron M approaches the counter.
Iron M: I’ll have a Big Mac please.
Micro: Okay. Anything else?
Iron M: No thanks.
*oney falls out of Irons pocket*
Iron M: Damn! My money
*un slips out off pocket*
Micro: You’ve got a gun!
Iron M: Yeah it’s for a fancy dress party
Micro: You lying! Get out!
Grix comes out in a black suit.
Iron It’s your turn now hurry up.
Micro: Whh…yyyy you dressed like that?
Grix: Emm….. Fancy dress.
Micro: I don’t believe you.
Grix: And I care.
Grix: You wont be around much longer anyway.
Micro: What’s the supposed to mean?
Grix: You’ll see.
Grix then walks over to a man sitting in the corner eating a Happy meal
Grix: You got the time mate?
Man: Yes it’s 4:35
Grix: What’s your name
Man: FFF
Grix: Cool name.
*Crackle*
Grix: what the hell?
FFF: Nothing honest.
Grix: You work for the so solid newbies. And you wired, you’re so dead.
FFF: Nooooooo!!!
*Bang*
Blood goes everywhere, as his head it cut in to by the shot off the handgun
Then Iran M comes rushing out off the toilet
Iran M: What’s going on?
Grix: nothing much I just killed this guy here.
Iran M: Oh that’s ok then.
Grix: He was wired.
Iran M: Okay lets blow this joint!
Grix: Wait I gotta do something first.
Grix: Micro nice knowing ya.
*Bang*
Then Micro’s body hits the floor.
Grix: Come on lets go.
Iran M: What about my Big Mac?
Grix: Stuff your Big Mac. If we don’t jurry up Mojo will have not be pleased.
Iran M: Okay *Sulks*
Grix and Iran M walk out off Mc donolds with black suits.
Mojo: Ah I see your ready boys, you took long enough.
Grix: Sorry had some business to take care off.
Mojo: Sure you did. *Winks at Grix*
Iran M: Are we gonna do this thing or what?
Mojo: Yeah. Give me a chance are boys aint got in yet.
Grix: Who you sent in?
Mojo: RM18 and Quinty
Grix: Good choice.
Mojo: Ovcorse I rule! Not as much as Redpath but there you go.
Grix: I never have seen him before.
Mojo: And you never will only important people see him.
*Crackle* Come in sir.
Mojo: Mojo here.
Walki talki: Where in sir.
Mojo: Good! Where on are way.
Scene 4: The bank
As they enter the bank a security guard approaches them.
Security guard: Hey does it really take 3 off you?
Mojo: Yes!
Security guard: No it doesn’t
Mojo: Move Hercules.
Hercules: No I’m a security guard I don’t move for no one.
Mojo: Grix stung him.
Grix: Okay boss.
*rix shocks him with a stung gun*
Hercules: AUP! WATCHYA Eurrrrrrr
Grix: He will be out for about 3 hours max
Mojo: Iron you useless, get that piece of rubbish in your car boot.
Iran M: Mine! Why?
Mojo: Cos yours is crap.
Iran M: Oh ok.
Grix and Mojo enter the bank.
Mojo: FREEZE!
Grix: Nobody move!
Sexy bank clerk: Argghhhhh!!!!!!
Mojo: Hey hey we wont hurt you. Well not you anyway cos you’re a lass and a fine one at that. What’s your name?
Sexy bank clerk: Azure
Mojo: Nice name *winks*
Azure: Bog off!
Mojo: Ok, then you!
Bank manager: Me?
Mojo: Yes you.
Bank manager: I do have a name it’s Hawkster.
Mojo: I don’t give a rat’s asss! Just open the god damn safe!
Hawkster: Hold your horses.
Mojo: If I had some I probably would.
Grix: Can anyone else open this thing?
Azure: I can.
Grix: Good, then we wont be needing him any more.
Mojo: No we wont.
Grix: Thinking what I’m thinking?
Mojo: Yes, lets get an ice cream.
Grix: NO! You fool we kill this mudderfucker!
Mojo: Yeah I agree.
Hawkster: Please No!
*BANG BANG*
He deserved that.
Mojo: Who said that.
RM18: Me.
Mojo: Where you been?
RM18: Quinty and me had to take out some guards. They had weird code names, one was called Double zero.
Mojo: I’ve heard off him. I heard he was tough.
Quinty: A piece off cake.
Iron M: I’ll have some.
Mojo: Shut up you fool. Now come on, less off the chatting and more bagging.
Grix: Oi! You
Bank Clark: Me?
RM18: Yes you open that safe.
Bank Clark goes to safe and opens it.
Quinty: By the way his names Venom.
RM18: Thanks for opening the safe Venom.
Venom: No worries
*RM18 trips Venom*
Venom: You wanna piece off this.
RM18: come on then big man. *Laughs with Quinty*
Venom pulls out a shotgun reloads it and shoots RM18 and Quinty.
Venom: Oh no only two rounds!
*Bang* Venom is shot to the ground
Azure: You scum bags. He owed me a tenner. Now I’m never gonna get it. *Sulks*
Mojo: Don’t worry love I’m sure I can figure some way of saying sorry *winks*
Bank Clark: some mudderfuckers! Are always trying to ice skate up hills.
Mojo: WTF?
*Bang* Bank Clarks body falls to the ground.
Grix: Who was that?
Azure: That was the towns crack head Juicy.
Mojo: Oh He was better off dead methinks.
Iron M: Can we go now we got what we wanted.
Mojo: But I aint. I wont a date with this woman here.
Azure: Bog off.
Grix: shall we take him for Redpath
Mojo: Nah he’s got enough I won’t her.
Azure: Well you will have to won’t
Mojo: Come on babe.
*Azure walks up to Mojo and slaps hi*
Mojo: what was that for?
Azure: Cos you are flirting with me and I don’t like, it and you also called me babe.
Scene 5 So Solid Newbies
A limo pulls up and 2 newbies comes out.
Newbie1: You must work for Redpath.
Mojo: Yes why.
Newbie2: Cos we have cum 4 his muny init.
Grix: over my dead body. I worked hard for this job
Grix kills Newbie number 1.
Then newbie number 2 throws a knife in Grixe’s right arm cutting a vain.
Mojo: No! Grix.
Grix: Argghhhh! It’s gone dark I carnt feel arm. I’m going to die.
Grix dies in Mojos arms.
Iron M: You mudderfucker!!!
Iron M: Goes to fire shotgun.
Iron M: What its not loaded.
Mojo: You dumb asss!
Newbie2 kills both Mojo and Iron M.
Newbie2: So tis not ture dat us newbies r not just dumb spammers we defeated Redpaths gang.
Newbie2: I will take dat thank u miss.
Azure: It’s yours just get way from me!
Newbie2: Cum on fello N00bs. We shall go and spend dis money.
Old man walks by.
Newbie2: Its old man blahpro he is seen 2 much kill im.
Old man Blahpro is shot to the ground and left for dead.
An hour later the police arrive.
Officer snuggly: Come on chop chop put some tape round here quick
Two day’s later the Newbies where arrested and where charged for all off the murders in the bank, and where banned for life from SR.
None off them carnt be named for legal reasons.
Thanks for reading my first spoof hope you liked it. :D
Redpath.
Scene 1: The Introduction
It was 4:00 pm, in England it was pouring it down with rain as usual. In a run down old shoe factory there was a man named Iron M sitting in a chair, gripping a Budweiser in his left hand and a cigar in the other while watching England v Sweden on his little pocket T.V. “Come on England!” He shouted
Iron M: Oh good god! I’m missing the news
So then he turned to BBC 1
Then he saw that it was his time to get heading to the bank, so then he downed his bud threw his cigar in the rubbish pile which was full of Budweiser cans and Mc Donald rappers. Then he grabbed his double barrel shot gun and gripped it with anger and pulled it back to reload it.
Iron M: Time for action!
Then he headed to his old Ford escort, falling over in a pothole on the way.
Iron M: Ahya! Man that hurt goddamn potholes.
*He thinks to his self*
Iron M: Do moles form them?
Then he drives off down the road with his car bouncing up and down cos off the potholes. Then he sees Grix and lets him in.
Iron M: Yo Grix.
Grix: Don’t talk to me you freak.
Iron M: Ok sorry what’s up with you?
Grix: Well I’m a bit peeded off cos I have to work with you!
Iron M: Oh weren’t my fault Mojo picked us as partners.
Grix: Damn him!
Grix: Where’s your weapon?
Iron M: Damn! I left it behind
Grix: Oh for petes sake! Turn round *sighs*
So Iron M turns round and fetches his weapon.
Then he gets back in the escort.
Iron M: Can you smell that?
Grix: Yeah smells like something’s burning
Iron M: Eh well lets just carry on with the.
Then they approach the bank.
Grix: This is it.
Iron M: Ovcorse it is, this is where Mojo told us to meet rite?
Grix: Yes!
Then Mojo approaches the car.
Mojo: Hi lads Where all ready. Put on your gear.
Iron M: Where sir?
Mojo: I never thought off that, emm…. In the Mc Donald toilets
Grix: What?! Don’t think so.
Iron M: I’m up for it
Mojo: Good lad, I new I could count on you.
Grix: Bah!
Mojo: Excuse me
Grix: Nothing sir
Mojo: Well what ya waiting for?
Iron M: You sir
Mojo: Just get one with it you fool!
So Grix and Iron M walk towards the Mc Donolds
Scene 3: Mc donolds
Mc donolds employee: Well how can I help you?
Grix: By sodding off
Mc donolds employee: Well look here mister if you…
Grix: Go on
Grix reads nametag
Grix: So your names Micro eh?
Micro: That’s rite.
Grix: I’m just gonna go to the toilet.
Micro*Looks puzzled*
Grix walks over to Iron M.
Grix: you stay there why I get changed.
Iron M: Okay.
Grix: Don’t do any thing stupid.
Iron M: I wont. Scout promise *Puts to fingers on side off head*
Grix: Yeah whatever.
Then Iron M approaches the counter.
Iron M: I’ll have a Big Mac please.
Micro: Okay. Anything else?
Iron M: No thanks.
*oney falls out of Irons pocket*
Iron M: Damn! My money
*un slips out off pocket*
Micro: You’ve got a gun!
Iron M: Yeah it’s for a fancy dress party
Micro: You lying! Get out!
Grix comes out in a black suit.
Iron It’s your turn now hurry up.
Micro: Whh…yyyy you dressed like that?
Grix: Emm….. Fancy dress.
Micro: I don’t believe you.
Grix: And I care.
Grix: You wont be around much longer anyway.
Micro: What’s the supposed to mean?
Grix: You’ll see.
Grix then walks over to a man sitting in the corner eating a Happy meal
Grix: You got the time mate?
Man: Yes it’s 4:35
Grix: What’s your name
Man: FFF
Grix: Cool name.
*Crackle*
Grix: what the hell?
FFF: Nothing honest.
Grix: You work for the so solid newbies. And you wired, you’re so dead.
FFF: Nooooooo!!!
*Bang*
Blood goes everywhere, as his head it cut in to by the shot off the handgun
Then Iran M comes rushing out off the toilet
Iran M: What’s going on?
Grix: nothing much I just killed this guy here.
Iran M: Oh that’s ok then.
Grix: He was wired.
Iran M: Okay lets blow this joint!
Grix: Wait I gotta do something first.
Grix: Micro nice knowing ya.
*Bang*
Then Micro’s body hits the floor.
Grix: Come on lets go.
Iran M: What about my Big Mac?
Grix: Stuff your Big Mac. If we don’t jurry up Mojo will have not be pleased.
Iran M: Okay *Sulks*
Grix and Iran M walk out off Mc donolds with black suits.
Mojo: Ah I see your ready boys, you took long enough.
Grix: Sorry had some business to take care off.
Mojo: Sure you did. *Winks at Grix*
Iran M: Are we gonna do this thing or what?
Mojo: Yeah. Give me a chance are boys aint got in yet.
Grix: Who you sent in?
Mojo: RM18 and Quinty
Grix: Good choice.
Mojo: Ovcorse I rule! Not as much as Redpath but there you go.
Grix: I never have seen him before.
Mojo: And you never will only important people see him.
*Crackle* Come in sir.
Mojo: Mojo here.
Walki talki: Where in sir.
Mojo: Good! Where on are way.
Scene 4: The bank
As they enter the bank a security guard approaches them.
Security guard: Hey does it really take 3 off you?
Mojo: Yes!
Security guard: No it doesn’t
Mojo: Move Hercules.
Hercules: No I’m a security guard I don’t move for no one.
Mojo: Grix stung him.
Grix: Okay boss.
*rix shocks him with a stung gun*
Hercules: AUP! WATCHYA Eurrrrrrr
Grix: He will be out for about 3 hours max
Mojo: Iron you useless, get that piece of rubbish in your car boot.
Iran M: Mine! Why?
Mojo: Cos yours is crap.
Iran M: Oh ok.
Grix and Mojo enter the bank.
Mojo: FREEZE!
Grix: Nobody move!
Sexy bank clerk: Argghhhhh!!!!!!
Mojo: Hey hey we wont hurt you. Well not you anyway cos you’re a lass and a fine one at that. What’s your name?
Sexy bank clerk: Azure
Mojo: Nice name *winks*
Azure: Bog off!
Mojo: Ok, then you!
Bank manager: Me?
Mojo: Yes you.
Bank manager: I do have a name it’s Hawkster.
Mojo: I don’t give a rat’s asss! Just open the god damn safe!
Hawkster: Hold your horses.
Mojo: If I had some I probably would.
Grix: Can anyone else open this thing?
Azure: I can.
Grix: Good, then we wont be needing him any more.
Mojo: No we wont.
Grix: Thinking what I’m thinking?
Mojo: Yes, lets get an ice cream.
Grix: NO! You fool we kill this mudderfucker!
Mojo: Yeah I agree.
Hawkster: Please No!
*BANG BANG*
He deserved that.
Mojo: Who said that.
RM18: Me.
Mojo: Where you been?
RM18: Quinty and me had to take out some guards. They had weird code names, one was called Double zero.
Mojo: I’ve heard off him. I heard he was tough.
Quinty: A piece off cake.
Iron M: I’ll have some.
Mojo: Shut up you fool. Now come on, less off the chatting and more bagging.
Grix: Oi! You
Bank Clark: Me?
RM18: Yes you open that safe.
Bank Clark goes to safe and opens it.
Quinty: By the way his names Venom.
RM18: Thanks for opening the safe Venom.
Venom: No worries
*RM18 trips Venom*
Venom: You wanna piece off this.
RM18: come on then big man. *Laughs with Quinty*
Venom pulls out a shotgun reloads it and shoots RM18 and Quinty.
Venom: Oh no only two rounds!
*Bang* Venom is shot to the ground
Azure: You scum bags. He owed me a tenner. Now I’m never gonna get it. *Sulks*
Mojo: Don’t worry love I’m sure I can figure some way of saying sorry *winks*
Bank Clark: some mudderfuckers! Are always trying to ice skate up hills.
Mojo: WTF?
*Bang* Bank Clarks body falls to the ground.
Grix: Who was that?
Azure: That was the towns crack head Juicy.
Mojo: Oh He was better off dead methinks.
Iron M: Can we go now we got what we wanted.
Mojo: But I aint. I wont a date with this woman here.
Azure: Bog off.
Grix: shall we take him for Redpath
Mojo: Nah he’s got enough I won’t her.
Azure: Well you will have to won’t
Mojo: Come on babe.
*Azure walks up to Mojo and slaps hi*
Mojo: what was that for?
Azure: Cos you are flirting with me and I don’t like, it and you also called me babe.
Scene 5 So Solid Newbies
A limo pulls up and 2 newbies comes out.
Newbie1: You must work for Redpath.
Mojo: Yes why.
Newbie2: Cos we have cum 4 his muny init.
Grix: over my dead body. I worked hard for this job
Grix kills Newbie number 1.
Then newbie number 2 throws a knife in Grixe’s right arm cutting a vain.
Mojo: No! Grix.
Grix: Argghhhh! It’s gone dark I carnt feel arm. I’m going to die.
Grix dies in Mojos arms.
Iron M: You mudderfucker!!!
Iron M: Goes to fire shotgun.
Iron M: What its not loaded.
Mojo: You dumb asss!
Newbie2 kills both Mojo and Iron M.
Newbie2: So tis not ture dat us newbies r not just dumb spammers we defeated Redpaths gang.
Newbie2: I will take dat thank u miss.
Azure: It’s yours just get way from me!
Newbie2: Cum on fello N00bs. We shall go and spend dis money.
Old man walks by.
Newbie2: Its old man blahpro he is seen 2 much kill im.
Old man Blahpro is shot to the ground and left for dead.
An hour later the police arrive.
Officer snuggly: Come on chop chop put some tape round here quick
Two day’s later the Newbies where arrested and where charged for all off the murders in the bank, and where banned for life from SR.
None off them carnt be named for legal reasons.
Thanks for reading my first spoof hope you liked it. :D
Redpath.
Page:
I posted it in here cos the people who wanted to be in mostly hung around in this forum so here goe's.
Scene 1: The Introduction
It was 4:00 pm, in England it was pouring it down with rain as usual. In a run down old shoe factory there was a man named Iron M sitting in a chair, gripping a Budweiser in his left hand and a cigar in the other while watching England v Sweden on his little pocket T.V. “Come on England!” He shouted
Iron M: Oh good god! I’m missing the news
So then he turned to BBC 1
Then he saw that it was his time to get heading to the bank, so then he downed his bud threw his cigar in the rubbish pile which was full of Budweiser cans and Mc Donald rappers. Then he grabbed his double barrel shot gun and gripped it with anger and pulled it back to reload it.
Iron M: Time for action!
Then he headed to his old Ford escort, falling over in a pothole on the way.
Iron M: Ahya! Man that hurt goddamn potholes.
*He thinks to his self*
Iron M: Do moles form them?
Then he drives off down the road with his car bouncing up and down cos off the potholes. Then he sees Grix and lets him in.
Iron M: Yo Grix.
Grix: Don’t talk to me you freak.
Iron M: Ok sorry what’s up with you?
Grix: Well I’m a bit peeded off cos I have to work with you!
Iron M: Oh weren’t my fault Mojo picked us as partners.
Grix: Damn him!
Grix: Where’s your weapon?
Iron M: Damn! I left it behind
Grix: Oh for petes sake! Turn round *sighs*
So Iron M turns round and fetches his weapon.
Then he gets back in the escort.
Iron M: Can you smell that?
Grix: Yeah smells like something’s burning
Iron M: Eh well lets just carry on with the.
Then they approach the bank.
Grix: This is it.
Iron M: Ovcorse it is, this is where Mojo told us to meet rite?
Grix: Yes!
Then Mojo approaches the car.
Mojo: Hi lads Where all ready. Put on your gear.
Iron M: Where sir?
Mojo: I never thought off that, emm…. In the Mc Donald toilets
Grix: What?! Don’t think so.
Iron M: I’m up for it
Mojo: Good lad, I new I could count on you.
Grix: Bah!
Mojo: Excuse me
Grix: Nothing sir
Mojo: Well what ya waiting for?
Iron M: You sir
Mojo: Just get one with it you fool!
So Grix and Iron M walk towards the Mc Donolds
Scene 3: Mc donolds
Mc donolds employee: Well how can I help you?
Grix: By sodding off
Mc donolds employee: Well look here mister if you…
Grix: Go on
Grix reads nametag
Grix: So your names Micro eh?
Micro: That’s rite.
Grix: I’m just gonna go to the toilet.
Micro*Looks puzzled*
Grix walks over to Iron M.
Grix: you stay there why I get changed.
Iron M: Okay.
Grix: Don’t do any thing stupid.
Iron M: I wont. Scout promise *Puts to fingers on side off head*
Grix: Yeah whatever.
Then Iron M approaches the counter.
Iron M: I’ll have a Big Mac please.
Micro: Okay. Anything else?
Iron M: No thanks.
*oney falls out of Irons pocket*
Iron M: Damn! My money
*un slips out off pocket*
Micro: You’ve got a gun!
Iron M: Yeah it’s for a fancy dress party
Micro: You lying! Get out!
Grix comes out in a black suit.
Iron It’s your turn now hurry up.
Micro: Whh…yyyy you dressed like that?
Grix: Emm….. Fancy dress.
Micro: I don’t believe you.
Grix: And I care.
Grix: You wont be around much longer anyway.
Micro: What’s the supposed to mean?
Grix: You’ll see.
Grix then walks over to a man sitting in the corner eating a Happy meal
Grix: You got the time mate?
Man: Yes it’s 4:35
Grix: What’s your name
Man: FFF
Grix: Cool name.
*Crackle*
Grix: what the hell?
FFF: Nothing honest.
Grix: You work for the so solid newbies. And you wired, you’re so dead.
FFF: Nooooooo!!!
*Bang*
Blood goes everywhere, as his head it cut in to by the shot off the handgun
Then Iran M comes rushing out off the toilet
Iran M: What’s going on?
Grix: nothing much I just killed this guy here.
Iran M: Oh that’s ok then.
Grix: He was wired.
Iran M: Okay lets blow this joint!
Grix: Wait I gotta do something first.
Grix: Micro nice knowing ya.
*Bang*
Then Micro’s body hits the floor.
Grix: Come on lets go.
Iran M: What about my Big Mac?
Grix: Stuff your Big Mac. If we don’t jurry up Mojo will have not be pleased.
Iran M: Okay *Sulks*
Grix and Iran M walk out off Mc donolds with black suits.
Mojo: Ah I see your ready boys, you took long enough.
Grix: Sorry had some business to take care off.
Mojo: Sure you did. *Winks at Grix*
Iran M: Are we gonna do this thing or what?
Mojo: Yeah. Give me a chance are boys aint got in yet.
Grix: Who you sent in?
Mojo: RM18 and Quinty
Grix: Good choice.
Mojo: Ovcorse I rule! Not as much as Redpath but there you go.
Grix: I never have seen him before.
Mojo: And you never will only important people see him.
*Crackle* Come in sir.
Mojo: Mojo here.
Walki talki: Where in sir.
Mojo: Good! Where on are way.
Scene 4: The bank
As they enter the bank a security guard approaches them.
Security guard: Hey does it really take 3 off you?
Mojo: Yes!
Security guard: No it doesn’t
Mojo: Move Hercules.
Hercules: No I’m a security guard I don’t move for no one.
Mojo: Grix stung him.
Grix: Okay boss.
*rix shocks him with a stung gun*
Hercules: AUP! WATCHYA Eurrrrrrr
Grix: He will be out for about 3 hours max
Mojo: Iron you useless, get that piece of rubbish in your car boot.
Iran M: Mine! Why?
Mojo: Cos yours is crap.
Iran M: Oh ok.
Grix and Mojo enter the bank.
Mojo: FREEZE!
Grix: Nobody move!
Sexy bank clerk: Argghhhhh!!!!!!
Mojo: Hey hey we wont hurt you. Well not you anyway cos you’re a lass and a fine one at that. What’s your name?
Sexy bank clerk: Azure
Mojo: Nice name *winks*
Azure: Bog off!
Mojo: Ok, then you!
Bank manager: Me?
Mojo: Yes you.
Bank manager: I do have a name it’s Hawkster.
Mojo: I don’t give a rat’s asss! Just open the god damn safe!
Hawkster: Hold your horses.
Mojo: If I had some I probably would.
Grix: Can anyone else open this thing?
Azure: I can.
Grix: Good, then we wont be needing him any more.
Mojo: No we wont.
Grix: Thinking what I’m thinking?
Mojo: Yes, lets get an ice cream.
Grix: NO! You fool we kill this mudderfucker!
Mojo: Yeah I agree.
Hawkster: Please No!
*BANG BANG*
He deserved that.
Mojo: Who said that.
RM18: Me.
Mojo: Where you been?
RM18: Quinty and me had to take out some guards. They had weird code names, one was called Double zero.
Mojo: I’ve heard off him. I heard he was tough.
Quinty: A piece off cake.
Iron M: I’ll have some.
Mojo: Shut up you fool. Now come on, less off the chatting and more bagging.
Grix: Oi! You
Bank Clark: Me?
RM18: Yes you open that safe.
Bank Clark goes to safe and opens it.
Quinty: By the way his names Venom.
RM18: Thanks for opening the safe Venom.
Venom: No worries
*RM18 trips Venom*
Venom: You wanna piece off this.
RM18: come on then big man. *Laughs with Quinty*
Venom pulls out a shotgun reloads it and shoots RM18 and Quinty.
Venom: Oh no only two rounds!
*Bang* Venom is shot to the ground
Azure: You scum bags. He owed me a tenner. Now I’m never gonna get it. *Sulks*
Mojo: Don’t worry love I’m sure I can figure some way of saying sorry *winks*
Bank Clark: some mudderfuckers! Are always trying to ice skate up hills.
Mojo: WTF?
*Bang* Bank Clarks body falls to the ground.
Grix: Who was that?
Azure: That was the towns crack head Juicy.
Mojo: Oh He was better off dead methinks.
Iron M: Can we go now we got what we wanted.
Mojo: But I aint. I wont a date with this woman here.
Azure: Bog off.
Grix: shall we take him for Redpath
Mojo: Nah he’s got enough I won’t her.
Azure: Well you will have to won’t
Mojo: Come on babe.
*Azure walks up to Mojo and slaps hi*
Mojo: what was that for?
Azure: Cos you are flirting with me and I don’t like, it and you also called me babe.
Scene 5 So Solid Newbies
A limo pulls up and 2 newbies comes out.
Newbie1: You must work for Redpath.
Mojo: Yes why.
Newbie2: Cos we have cum 4 his muny init.
Grix: over my dead body. I worked hard for this job
Grix kills Newbie number 1.
Then newbie number 2 throws a knife in Grixe’s right arm cutting a vain.
Mojo: No! Grix.
Grix: Argghhhh! It’s gone dark I carnt feel arm. I’m going to die.
Grix dies in Mojos arms.
Iron M: You mudderfucker!!!
Iron M: Goes to fire shotgun.
Iron M: What its not loaded.
Mojo: You dumb asss!
Newbie2 kills both Mojo and Iron M.
Newbie2: So tis not ture dat us newbies r not just dumb spammers we defeated Redpaths gang.
Newbie2: I will take dat thank u miss.
Azure: It’s yours just get way from me!
Newbie2: Cum on fello N00bs. We shall go and spend dis money.
Old man walks by.
Newbie2: Its old man blahpro he is seen 2 much kill im.
Old man Blahpro is shot to the ground and left for dead.
An hour later the police arrive.
Officer snuggly: Come on chop chop put some tape round here quick
Two day’s later the Newbies where arrested and where charged for all off the murders in the bank, and where banned for life from SR.
None off them carnt be named for legal reasons.
Thanks for reading my first spoof hope you liked it. :D
Redpath.
Scene 1: The Introduction
It was 4:00 pm, in England it was pouring it down with rain as usual. In a run down old shoe factory there was a man named Iron M sitting in a chair, gripping a Budweiser in his left hand and a cigar in the other while watching England v Sweden on his little pocket T.V. “Come on England!” He shouted
Iron M: Oh good god! I’m missing the news
So then he turned to BBC 1
Then he saw that it was his time to get heading to the bank, so then he downed his bud threw his cigar in the rubbish pile which was full of Budweiser cans and Mc Donald rappers. Then he grabbed his double barrel shot gun and gripped it with anger and pulled it back to reload it.
Iron M: Time for action!
Then he headed to his old Ford escort, falling over in a pothole on the way.
Iron M: Ahya! Man that hurt goddamn potholes.
*He thinks to his self*
Iron M: Do moles form them?
Then he drives off down the road with his car bouncing up and down cos off the potholes. Then he sees Grix and lets him in.
Iron M: Yo Grix.
Grix: Don’t talk to me you freak.
Iron M: Ok sorry what’s up with you?
Grix: Well I’m a bit peeded off cos I have to work with you!
Iron M: Oh weren’t my fault Mojo picked us as partners.
Grix: Damn him!
Grix: Where’s your weapon?
Iron M: Damn! I left it behind
Grix: Oh for petes sake! Turn round *sighs*
So Iron M turns round and fetches his weapon.
Then he gets back in the escort.
Iron M: Can you smell that?
Grix: Yeah smells like something’s burning
Iron M: Eh well lets just carry on with the.
Then they approach the bank.
Grix: This is it.
Iron M: Ovcorse it is, this is where Mojo told us to meet rite?
Grix: Yes!
Then Mojo approaches the car.
Mojo: Hi lads Where all ready. Put on your gear.
Iron M: Where sir?
Mojo: I never thought off that, emm…. In the Mc Donald toilets
Grix: What?! Don’t think so.
Iron M: I’m up for it
Mojo: Good lad, I new I could count on you.
Grix: Bah!
Mojo: Excuse me
Grix: Nothing sir
Mojo: Well what ya waiting for?
Iron M: You sir
Mojo: Just get one with it you fool!
So Grix and Iron M walk towards the Mc Donolds
Scene 3: Mc donolds
Mc donolds employee: Well how can I help you?
Grix: By sodding off
Mc donolds employee: Well look here mister if you…
Grix: Go on
Grix reads nametag
Grix: So your names Micro eh?
Micro: That’s rite.
Grix: I’m just gonna go to the toilet.
Micro*Looks puzzled*
Grix walks over to Iron M.
Grix: you stay there why I get changed.
Iron M: Okay.
Grix: Don’t do any thing stupid.
Iron M: I wont. Scout promise *Puts to fingers on side off head*
Grix: Yeah whatever.
Then Iron M approaches the counter.
Iron M: I’ll have a Big Mac please.
Micro: Okay. Anything else?
Iron M: No thanks.
*oney falls out of Irons pocket*
Iron M: Damn! My money
*un slips out off pocket*
Micro: You’ve got a gun!
Iron M: Yeah it’s for a fancy dress party
Micro: You lying! Get out!
Grix comes out in a black suit.
Iron It’s your turn now hurry up.
Micro: Whh…yyyy you dressed like that?
Grix: Emm….. Fancy dress.
Micro: I don’t believe you.
Grix: And I care.
Grix: You wont be around much longer anyway.
Micro: What’s the supposed to mean?
Grix: You’ll see.
Grix then walks over to a man sitting in the corner eating a Happy meal
Grix: You got the time mate?
Man: Yes it’s 4:35
Grix: What’s your name
Man: FFF
Grix: Cool name.
*Crackle*
Grix: what the hell?
FFF: Nothing honest.
Grix: You work for the so solid newbies. And you wired, you’re so dead.
FFF: Nooooooo!!!
*Bang*
Blood goes everywhere, as his head it cut in to by the shot off the handgun
Then Iran M comes rushing out off the toilet
Iran M: What’s going on?
Grix: nothing much I just killed this guy here.
Iran M: Oh that’s ok then.
Grix: He was wired.
Iran M: Okay lets blow this joint!
Grix: Wait I gotta do something first.
Grix: Micro nice knowing ya.
*Bang*
Then Micro’s body hits the floor.
Grix: Come on lets go.
Iran M: What about my Big Mac?
Grix: Stuff your Big Mac. If we don’t jurry up Mojo will have not be pleased.
Iran M: Okay *Sulks*
Grix and Iran M walk out off Mc donolds with black suits.
Mojo: Ah I see your ready boys, you took long enough.
Grix: Sorry had some business to take care off.
Mojo: Sure you did. *Winks at Grix*
Iran M: Are we gonna do this thing or what?
Mojo: Yeah. Give me a chance are boys aint got in yet.
Grix: Who you sent in?
Mojo: RM18 and Quinty
Grix: Good choice.
Mojo: Ovcorse I rule! Not as much as Redpath but there you go.
Grix: I never have seen him before.
Mojo: And you never will only important people see him.
*Crackle* Come in sir.
Mojo: Mojo here.
Walki talki: Where in sir.
Mojo: Good! Where on are way.
Scene 4: The bank
As they enter the bank a security guard approaches them.
Security guard: Hey does it really take 3 off you?
Mojo: Yes!
Security guard: No it doesn’t
Mojo: Move Hercules.
Hercules: No I’m a security guard I don’t move for no one.
Mojo: Grix stung him.
Grix: Okay boss.
*rix shocks him with a stung gun*
Hercules: AUP! WATCHYA Eurrrrrrr
Grix: He will be out for about 3 hours max
Mojo: Iron you useless, get that piece of rubbish in your car boot.
Iran M: Mine! Why?
Mojo: Cos yours is crap.
Iran M: Oh ok.
Grix and Mojo enter the bank.
Mojo: FREEZE!
Grix: Nobody move!
Sexy bank clerk: Argghhhhh!!!!!!
Mojo: Hey hey we wont hurt you. Well not you anyway cos you’re a lass and a fine one at that. What’s your name?
Sexy bank clerk: Azure
Mojo: Nice name *winks*
Azure: Bog off!
Mojo: Ok, then you!
Bank manager: Me?
Mojo: Yes you.
Bank manager: I do have a name it’s Hawkster.
Mojo: I don’t give a rat’s asss! Just open the god damn safe!
Hawkster: Hold your horses.
Mojo: If I had some I probably would.
Grix: Can anyone else open this thing?
Azure: I can.
Grix: Good, then we wont be needing him any more.
Mojo: No we wont.
Grix: Thinking what I’m thinking?
Mojo: Yes, lets get an ice cream.
Grix: NO! You fool we kill this mudderfucker!
Mojo: Yeah I agree.
Hawkster: Please No!
*BANG BANG*
He deserved that.
Mojo: Who said that.
RM18: Me.
Mojo: Where you been?
RM18: Quinty and me had to take out some guards. They had weird code names, one was called Double zero.
Mojo: I’ve heard off him. I heard he was tough.
Quinty: A piece off cake.
Iron M: I’ll have some.
Mojo: Shut up you fool. Now come on, less off the chatting and more bagging.
Grix: Oi! You
Bank Clark: Me?
RM18: Yes you open that safe.
Bank Clark goes to safe and opens it.
Quinty: By the way his names Venom.
RM18: Thanks for opening the safe Venom.
Venom: No worries
*RM18 trips Venom*
Venom: You wanna piece off this.
RM18: come on then big man. *Laughs with Quinty*
Venom pulls out a shotgun reloads it and shoots RM18 and Quinty.
Venom: Oh no only two rounds!
*Bang* Venom is shot to the ground
Azure: You scum bags. He owed me a tenner. Now I’m never gonna get it. *Sulks*
Mojo: Don’t worry love I’m sure I can figure some way of saying sorry *winks*
Bank Clark: some mudderfuckers! Are always trying to ice skate up hills.
Mojo: WTF?
*Bang* Bank Clarks body falls to the ground.
Grix: Who was that?
Azure: That was the towns crack head Juicy.
Mojo: Oh He was better off dead methinks.
Iron M: Can we go now we got what we wanted.
Mojo: But I aint. I wont a date with this woman here.
Azure: Bog off.
Grix: shall we take him for Redpath
Mojo: Nah he’s got enough I won’t her.
Azure: Well you will have to won’t
Mojo: Come on babe.
*Azure walks up to Mojo and slaps hi*
Mojo: what was that for?
Azure: Cos you are flirting with me and I don’t like, it and you also called me babe.
Scene 5 So Solid Newbies
A limo pulls up and 2 newbies comes out.
Newbie1: You must work for Redpath.
Mojo: Yes why.
Newbie2: Cos we have cum 4 his muny init.
Grix: over my dead body. I worked hard for this job
Grix kills Newbie number 1.
Then newbie number 2 throws a knife in Grixe’s right arm cutting a vain.
Mojo: No! Grix.
Grix: Argghhhh! It’s gone dark I carnt feel arm. I’m going to die.
Grix dies in Mojos arms.
Iron M: You mudderfucker!!!
Iron M: Goes to fire shotgun.
Iron M: What its not loaded.
Mojo: You dumb asss!
Newbie2 kills both Mojo and Iron M.
Newbie2: So tis not ture dat us newbies r not just dumb spammers we defeated Redpaths gang.
Newbie2: I will take dat thank u miss.
Azure: It’s yours just get way from me!
Newbie2: Cum on fello N00bs. We shall go and spend dis money.
Old man walks by.
Newbie2: Its old man blahpro he is seen 2 much kill im.
Old man Blahpro is shot to the ground and left for dead.
An hour later the police arrive.
Officer snuggly: Come on chop chop put some tape round here quick
Two day’s later the Newbies where arrested and where charged for all off the murders in the bank, and where banned for life from SR.
None off them carnt be named for legal reasons.
Thanks for reading my first spoof hope you liked it. :D
Redpath.
Hey, not bad. The bank security much resembles most hollywood movies ;)
That was......Great....
Very long! You should have put somebodies name on the McDonalds employee, just to humiliate them!
Phi11ip wrote:
> Very long! You should have put somebodies name on the McDonalds
> employee, just to humiliate them!
I did it was Microchip :)
Glad you like it.
> Very long! You should have put somebodies name on the McDonalds
> employee, just to humiliate them!
I did it was Microchip :)
Glad you like it.
heh, that was pretty good.
:D
:D
great post
Thanks for the replys.
Damn I wish Mojo would read it!
Damn I wish Mojo would read it!
Cool Post RedPath
I didn't like it.
Do you know why?? I was the FIRST person to say yes I'd like to be in it, and as a gangsta, and you left me out. *sticks bottom lip out*
Do you know why?? I was the FIRST person to say yes I'd like to be in it, and as a gangsta, and you left me out. *sticks bottom lip out*
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