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Item! There's a new Star Wars movie out, and guess what - Steven Spielberg has done a magnificent job bringing it to the big screen! With new names on board like Samuel 'Pulp Fiction' Jackson, Ewen 'Trainspotting' McGreggor and Tommy 'Speed 2' Morrison, Star Wars 2 has some real big name brunt, and may even challenge films like Scooby Doo for the summer's 'best movie' crown! It has it all - explosions, romance and yes, everyone's favourite Star Wars character, that rascal Jar Jar Binks! However, I have a complaint Mr Speilberg - Jar Jar is hardly in it at all! Surely cutting the role of the most popular character is a bad move, methinks Steven should have listened to the die hard Star Wars fans, or 'Trekkies' as they like to be known!
So, what's the story for Star Wars 2? Well, Christopher Lee plays a bad Jedi who wants to take over the world, and Ewen McGreggor (reprising his role of the mysterious Toby Kenobi) and Justin Timberlake (Luke Skywalker) have to stop him! I won't spoil anything for you, but there's plenty of lightsabre fights in the film, and they're different colours too! If there's one thing Star Wars 1: The Phantom was missing, it was a bit of colour in the fight scenes! Needless to say, those wacky Jedis help out, and the wise master Yogi and Samuel Jackson's Ace Windu come to the rescue more than once! There's also a fleeting cameo from Tommy Morrison as Jabba the Fett, a bounty hunter who's after Toby Kenobi's blood! However, Morrison's Australian accent isn't up to much - best stick with your homegrown US one next time, huh?!
But enough of the fighting, the real story is the romance between Luke Skywalker and Anikana, played by the gorgeous Natalie Partman. This couple practically sizzle on screen, and I hear rumours that Justin's real life girlfriend Britney Spears was none too happy about the snogging scenes! Apparently, Luke and Anikana get it on and have a baby called Garth Vader, but this won't happen until Star Wars 3: The Journey Home. Just one thing Justin, what's with the hairdo? I know Insink are the coolest band on the planet, but did you have to keep the ponytail?! It makes you look a bit silly, after all, this movie is supposed to be set in the 22nd century!
So, what's the verdict? Two thumbs up, most definitely! Hopefully the chemistry between McGreggor and Timberlake will continue into the next installment, and these two Jedis will become a force to be reckoned with in the galaxy! There hasn't been such a powerful onscreen duo since Tango and Cash graced our screens a few years ago. Natalie Partman plays her part as the helpless princess very well, and even the two gay robots, 3-CPO and RTD2 provide some much needed comic relief! The computer generated effects are also outstanding, easily surpassing the benchmark that Howard the Duck set all those years ago. Star Wars 2: When Clones Attack? See it, will you!
[Editor's note: I must apologise for completely ripping off the style of The Onion, but who the hell cares. I just saw this film tonight, and though it was... well, pretty fricking fantastic. Anyone who disagrees can fight me out the back with a glowing stick. I've got mine.]
So, what's the story for Star Wars 2? Well, Christopher Lee plays a bad Jedi who wants to take over the world, and Ewen McGreggor (reprising his role of the mysterious Toby Kenobi) and Justin Timberlake (Luke Skywalker) have to stop him! I won't spoil anything for you, but there's plenty of lightsabre fights in the film, and they're different colours too! If there's one thing Star Wars 1: The Phantom was missing, it was a bit of colour in the fight scenes! Needless to say, those wacky Jedis help out, and the wise master Yogi and Samuel Jackson's Ace Windu come to the rescue more than once! There's also a fleeting cameo from Tommy Morrison as Jabba the Fett, a bounty hunter who's after Toby Kenobi's blood! However, Morrison's Australian accent isn't up to much - best stick with your homegrown US one next time, huh?!
But enough of the fighting, the real story is the romance between Luke Skywalker and Anikana, played by the gorgeous Natalie Partman. This couple practically sizzle on screen, and I hear rumours that Justin's real life girlfriend Britney Spears was none too happy about the snogging scenes! Apparently, Luke and Anikana get it on and have a baby called Garth Vader, but this won't happen until Star Wars 3: The Journey Home. Just one thing Justin, what's with the hairdo? I know Insink are the coolest band on the planet, but did you have to keep the ponytail?! It makes you look a bit silly, after all, this movie is supposed to be set in the 22nd century!
So, what's the verdict? Two thumbs up, most definitely! Hopefully the chemistry between McGreggor and Timberlake will continue into the next installment, and these two Jedis will become a force to be reckoned with in the galaxy! There hasn't been such a powerful onscreen duo since Tango and Cash graced our screens a few years ago. Natalie Partman plays her part as the helpless princess very well, and even the two gay robots, 3-CPO and RTD2 provide some much needed comic relief! The computer generated effects are also outstanding, easily surpassing the benchmark that Howard the Duck set all those years ago. Star Wars 2: When Clones Attack? See it, will you!
[Editor's note: I must apologise for completely ripping off the style of The Onion, but who the hell cares. I just saw this film tonight, and though it was... well, pretty fricking fantastic. Anyone who disagrees can fight me out the back with a glowing stick. I've got mine.]
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No, but you're right - the love bits are crap. "I hate sand, it's rough and coarse. Everything you're not. You're soft and smooth." Worst chat up line ever.
Update! Rumour has it that Steven Spielberg is writing a further three episodes of the Star Wars series if the first three are well accepted! Sources close to me suggest that Star Wars 4 will feature Luke and Anikana's baby Garth, but - shocker - he's black! Maybe the father is Ace Windu? Harrison Ford is also being considered for the role of Hans, a German carpenter who fixes Luke's ship, the Millennium Eagle. I can't wait!
Update! Rumour has it that Steven Spielberg is writing a further three episodes of the Star Wars series if the first three are well accepted! Sources close to me suggest that Star Wars 4 will feature Luke and Anikana's baby Garth, but - shocker - he's black! Maybe the father is Ace Windu? Harrison Ford is also being considered for the role of Hans, a German carpenter who fixes Luke's ship, the Millennium Eagle. I can't wait!
Did the audience laugh when Padme got up from the sand?
Item! There's a new Star Wars movie out, and guess what - Steven Spielberg has done a magnificent job bringing it to the big screen! With new names on board like Samuel 'Pulp Fiction' Jackson, Ewen 'Trainspotting' McGreggor and Tommy 'Speed 2' Morrison, Star Wars 2 has some real big name brunt, and may even challenge films like Scooby Doo for the summer's 'best movie' crown! It has it all - explosions, romance and yes, everyone's favourite Star Wars character, that rascal Jar Jar Binks! However, I have a complaint Mr Speilberg - Jar Jar is hardly in it at all! Surely cutting the role of the most popular character is a bad move, methinks Steven should have listened to the die hard Star Wars fans, or 'Trekkies' as they like to be known!
So, what's the story for Star Wars 2? Well, Christopher Lee plays a bad Jedi who wants to take over the world, and Ewen McGreggor (reprising his role of the mysterious Toby Kenobi) and Justin Timberlake (Luke Skywalker) have to stop him! I won't spoil anything for you, but there's plenty of lightsabre fights in the film, and they're different colours too! If there's one thing Star Wars 1: The Phantom was missing, it was a bit of colour in the fight scenes! Needless to say, those wacky Jedis help out, and the wise master Yogi and Samuel Jackson's Ace Windu come to the rescue more than once! There's also a fleeting cameo from Tommy Morrison as Jabba the Fett, a bounty hunter who's after Toby Kenobi's blood! However, Morrison's Australian accent isn't up to much - best stick with your homegrown US one next time, huh?!
But enough of the fighting, the real story is the romance between Luke Skywalker and Anikana, played by the gorgeous Natalie Partman. This couple practically sizzle on screen, and I hear rumours that Justin's real life girlfriend Britney Spears was none too happy about the snogging scenes! Apparently, Luke and Anikana get it on and have a baby called Garth Vader, but this won't happen until Star Wars 3: The Journey Home. Just one thing Justin, what's with the hairdo? I know Insink are the coolest band on the planet, but did you have to keep the ponytail?! It makes you look a bit silly, after all, this movie is supposed to be set in the 22nd century!
So, what's the verdict? Two thumbs up, most definitely! Hopefully the chemistry between McGreggor and Timberlake will continue into the next installment, and these two Jedis will become a force to be reckoned with in the galaxy! There hasn't been such a powerful onscreen duo since Tango and Cash graced our screens a few years ago. Natalie Partman plays her part as the helpless princess very well, and even the two gay robots, 3-CPO and RTD2 provide some much needed comic relief! The computer generated effects are also outstanding, easily surpassing the benchmark that Howard the Duck set all those years ago. Star Wars 2: When Clones Attack? See it, will you!
[Editor's note: I must apologise for completely ripping off the style of The Onion, but who the hell cares. I just saw this film tonight, and though it was... well, pretty fricking fantastic. Anyone who disagrees can fight me out the back with a glowing stick. I've got mine.]
So, what's the story for Star Wars 2? Well, Christopher Lee plays a bad Jedi who wants to take over the world, and Ewen McGreggor (reprising his role of the mysterious Toby Kenobi) and Justin Timberlake (Luke Skywalker) have to stop him! I won't spoil anything for you, but there's plenty of lightsabre fights in the film, and they're different colours too! If there's one thing Star Wars 1: The Phantom was missing, it was a bit of colour in the fight scenes! Needless to say, those wacky Jedis help out, and the wise master Yogi and Samuel Jackson's Ace Windu come to the rescue more than once! There's also a fleeting cameo from Tommy Morrison as Jabba the Fett, a bounty hunter who's after Toby Kenobi's blood! However, Morrison's Australian accent isn't up to much - best stick with your homegrown US one next time, huh?!
But enough of the fighting, the real story is the romance between Luke Skywalker and Anikana, played by the gorgeous Natalie Partman. This couple practically sizzle on screen, and I hear rumours that Justin's real life girlfriend Britney Spears was none too happy about the snogging scenes! Apparently, Luke and Anikana get it on and have a baby called Garth Vader, but this won't happen until Star Wars 3: The Journey Home. Just one thing Justin, what's with the hairdo? I know Insink are the coolest band on the planet, but did you have to keep the ponytail?! It makes you look a bit silly, after all, this movie is supposed to be set in the 22nd century!
So, what's the verdict? Two thumbs up, most definitely! Hopefully the chemistry between McGreggor and Timberlake will continue into the next installment, and these two Jedis will become a force to be reckoned with in the galaxy! There hasn't been such a powerful onscreen duo since Tango and Cash graced our screens a few years ago. Natalie Partman plays her part as the helpless princess very well, and even the two gay robots, 3-CPO and RTD2 provide some much needed comic relief! The computer generated effects are also outstanding, easily surpassing the benchmark that Howard the Duck set all those years ago. Star Wars 2: When Clones Attack? See it, will you!
[Editor's note: I must apologise for completely ripping off the style of The Onion, but who the hell cares. I just saw this film tonight, and though it was... well, pretty fricking fantastic. Anyone who disagrees can fight me out the back with a glowing stick. I've got mine.]
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