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I have, for the longest time, been a loud protestor against Nintendo.
Why?
The N64.
It was rubbish. This is scientific fact.
There were 4 good games for it.
1 - Goldeneye
2 - Pilot Wings
3 - Blastcorps
4 - WWF Somethingorother
And then there was Lylat Wars.
Now my red-faced loathing of this game is well documented here and elsewhere.
That game should never, ever have seen the light of day. It cost me £60 and I completed it, no continues needed, no life lost in 43 minutes.
Utter, utter inexcusably shoddy gameplay.
(stop with your silly "Ah but there were other routes", I do not expect to see end credits in under an hour, regardless.)
I promptly sold my N64 and all the games to a stupid person for £150.
Didn't matter I took a bath on the money loss, I just wanted it out of my house.
And ever since then, I've avoided Nintendo like a floater in the bath.
Saw the Gamecube being released and laughed into my fist.
Read the posts from Ninty's about how the Xbox controller wouldn't fit in their little hands and choked on coffee at the notion of Nintendo ever doing anything to rescue themselves from the annals of big baby games for big babies and people with kids.
And then there was Rogue Whatsit.
I like Star Wars games (but not that fighty one on the PS1, that is terrible. And not Force Commander, as that is also a twonky little RTS you can play by laying your buttocks on the keyboard and doing the Macerena).
I read reviews, saw the graphics and played on one instore.
It's good.
Damn good.
So I bought a Gamecube yesterday and Rogue Thingy.
And I have to say I like Nintendo's machine.
Not as much as I like my Xbox though.
Why?
Because it just looks like a lunchbox. It even has a handle. A handle on electrical equipment is never advised, as it promotes carrying - which always ends in tears when dropped/swung/used as a melee weapon against pets.
Hell, even the manual calls it "the toy".
And the games look...well...not my cuppa apart from some ones that I can't rememmber.
But I be playing my gaymecube last night and tonighht and I enjoy it.
I'm even consdeering getting Super Muuuuhnkee Ball.
I still enjoy da Xbox, but I dont hate tha cube as much as I fouwt I wuld.
I even be into the nintando forum to reed about sum games and i likey the sownd of dem.
not the ones wiv pixiechews and pokemins, they for baybees but i lyke to get super smash bruvvers beecoz you can bee lylat and mayke him get hurt bad.
like when i make toast and it get stukk and i use metal nife to get bred owt and it make room go blue and frow me into wall and mum sez "no bad boy for make the nife in the toast masheen"
the kyube is good wiv handel beecoz i can pikk it up (it heavy but not make me poo from the heavy like xbox do) and frow it at kat wot steel my breff when i sleep when the sun go in.
the controller is nice, it fit my mit reel good. i dont liike the xbux wun becoz it big and mayke my fase hurt and i cant fit it all in mowf like da cube one i can.
so, in conklooshun, the gaymbecube is reel nice and have the star wars gayme wiv rt-2d and wot goes "bleep bleep" but i not understand it and i shout "shut up robot" and cry but then kat cum in and go "hiss" at me and i larf when it cums near becoz i got "zippo" and i mayke the cat orange and warm but it make bad smell and fur go crispy
i hayte that kat but not as much as i hate lylat wars
Why?
The N64.
It was rubbish. This is scientific fact.
There were 4 good games for it.
1 - Goldeneye
2 - Pilot Wings
3 - Blastcorps
4 - WWF Somethingorother
And then there was Lylat Wars.
Now my red-faced loathing of this game is well documented here and elsewhere.
That game should never, ever have seen the light of day. It cost me £60 and I completed it, no continues needed, no life lost in 43 minutes.
Utter, utter inexcusably shoddy gameplay.
(stop with your silly "Ah but there were other routes", I do not expect to see end credits in under an hour, regardless.)
I promptly sold my N64 and all the games to a stupid person for £150.
Didn't matter I took a bath on the money loss, I just wanted it out of my house.
And ever since then, I've avoided Nintendo like a floater in the bath.
Saw the Gamecube being released and laughed into my fist.
Read the posts from Ninty's about how the Xbox controller wouldn't fit in their little hands and choked on coffee at the notion of Nintendo ever doing anything to rescue themselves from the annals of big baby games for big babies and people with kids.
And then there was Rogue Whatsit.
I like Star Wars games (but not that fighty one on the PS1, that is terrible. And not Force Commander, as that is also a twonky little RTS you can play by laying your buttocks on the keyboard and doing the Macerena).
I read reviews, saw the graphics and played on one instore.
It's good.
Damn good.
So I bought a Gamecube yesterday and Rogue Thingy.
And I have to say I like Nintendo's machine.
Not as much as I like my Xbox though.
Why?
Because it just looks like a lunchbox. It even has a handle. A handle on electrical equipment is never advised, as it promotes carrying - which always ends in tears when dropped/swung/used as a melee weapon against pets.
Hell, even the manual calls it "the toy".
And the games look...well...not my cuppa apart from some ones that I can't rememmber.
But I be playing my gaymecube last night and tonighht and I enjoy it.
I'm even consdeering getting Super Muuuuhnkee Ball.
I still enjoy da Xbox, but I dont hate tha cube as much as I fouwt I wuld.
I even be into the nintando forum to reed about sum games and i likey the sownd of dem.
not the ones wiv pixiechews and pokemins, they for baybees but i lyke to get super smash bruvvers beecoz you can bee lylat and mayke him get hurt bad.
like when i make toast and it get stukk and i use metal nife to get bred owt and it make room go blue and frow me into wall and mum sez "no bad boy for make the nife in the toast masheen"
the kyube is good wiv handel beecoz i can pikk it up (it heavy but not make me poo from the heavy like xbox do) and frow it at kat wot steel my breff when i sleep when the sun go in.
the controller is nice, it fit my mit reel good. i dont liike the xbux wun becoz it big and mayke my fase hurt and i cant fit it all in mowf like da cube one i can.
so, in conklooshun, the gaymbecube is reel nice and have the star wars gayme wiv rt-2d and wot goes "bleep bleep" but i not understand it and i shout "shut up robot" and cry but then kat cum in and go "hiss" at me and i larf when it cums near becoz i got "zippo" and i mayke the cat orange and warm but it make bad smell and fur go crispy
i hayte that kat but not as much as i hate lylat wars
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*karate kid voice*
" Goatyson you are weak "
" Goatyson you are weak "
I can't believe you sold your N64! You didn't even list SM64 in the good games, or Zelda OOT! There were plenty of great games for it, Banjo-Kazooie, SSB., 1080, Perfect Dark, Wave Race, Mario Kart and more.
But that wasn't too funny at the end there was it? I probably would have found it more funny if I was 9 and owned a PS2. I would like to point out that kids, and I do mean 9 year olds, will have Playstations, hell, I bet more kids have Playstations than have GameCube's! And not merely for the fact that it's only been out for two weeks.
But it was a clever post I guess..... (speaking through gritted teeth) so well done.
But that wasn't too funny at the end there was it? I probably would have found it more funny if I was 9 and owned a PS2. I would like to point out that kids, and I do mean 9 year olds, will have Playstations, hell, I bet more kids have Playstations than have GameCube's! And not merely for the fact that it's only been out for two weeks.
But it was a clever post I guess..... (speaking through gritted teeth) so well done.
Super Mario 64
Mario Kart
Diddy Kong Racing
Banjo Kazooie/Tooie
Conker's Bad Fur Day
Five more right there.
Mario Kart
Diddy Kong Racing
Banjo Kazooie/Tooie
Conker's Bad Fur Day
Five more right there.
It'll possibly come out on PC. Not other consoles. Honest.
WWF No Mercy is what you were looking for.
Perfect Dark
Mario Tennis
Zelda OOT and MM
There's another 4 great games, off the top of my head.
Perfect Dark
Mario Tennis
Zelda OOT and MM
There's another 4 great games, off the top of my head.
If you got the gaymecube for Rogue Doohick, then you may just kick yourself yet! Take your muuuuuhing self down to Virgin, or Game and look at all the games for gaymecube. Top left corner on game box says 'Gamecube Exclusive' for most of them...but not Rogue Thingy. Which makes me think it will be appearing on other consoles some time in the near future...
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