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With American Psycho 2 going straight to video, and From Dusk Till Dawn spawning two useless sequels I think it's about time we had our own pop at creating really bad films from excellent originals.
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
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Jurassic Park 2
....
....
The Deer Hunter returns.
Mike's (Rob De Niro's) grandson is the lead, 20 years on from the original tale. This time, he's been chosen for no reason to go and fight against the citizens of Islington. Starring Will Young.
Mike's (Rob De Niro's) grandson is the lead, 20 years on from the original tale. This time, he's been chosen for no reason to go and fight against the citizens of Islington. Starring Will Young.
The Game 2
Incredibly choosing the same characters as the first movie, a Sean Penn lookalike buys his Michael Douglas lookalike brother "a game" for his birthday. Having done it all before, and seen it all before, the Douglas lookalike boringly goes through the motions, to the climactic ending where he again jumps off a building - to the complete surprise of everyone else involved, who set the jump mat on the other side as a "surprise"
The One 2
Jet Li is back from the prison dimension - and he can dance! One, two, one, two - mastering the two-step with never-before seen ease, Jet Li finishes this gobsmacking sequel with a stunning duet with... himself!
Pearl Harbour 2 - The Japs hit again
The Japanese, apparently not quite happy having not finished off Ben Aflek in the first film, come back with 10 times as many planes as before, but this time Ben is ready - with hundreds of his own fighters which he got from god knows where, to give the Japs a pasting. Be prepared to fall asleep as the movie surrenders to the use of stock WWII footage to create a greater feel of realism.
Incredibly choosing the same characters as the first movie, a Sean Penn lookalike buys his Michael Douglas lookalike brother "a game" for his birthday. Having done it all before, and seen it all before, the Douglas lookalike boringly goes through the motions, to the climactic ending where he again jumps off a building - to the complete surprise of everyone else involved, who set the jump mat on the other side as a "surprise"
The One 2
Jet Li is back from the prison dimension - and he can dance! One, two, one, two - mastering the two-step with never-before seen ease, Jet Li finishes this gobsmacking sequel with a stunning duet with... himself!
Pearl Harbour 2 - The Japs hit again
The Japanese, apparently not quite happy having not finished off Ben Aflek in the first film, come back with 10 times as many planes as before, but this time Ben is ready - with hundreds of his own fighters which he got from god knows where, to give the Japs a pasting. Be prepared to fall asleep as the movie surrenders to the use of stock WWII footage to create a greater feel of realism.
Meka Dragon wrote:
> Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie,
> The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story.
> A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this
> guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses
> to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little
> too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring
> Richard Greico.
I would personally seek out and destroy all those involved if this ever happened. Grrrr. Or something.
> Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie,
> The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story.
> A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this
> guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses
> to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little
> too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring
> Richard Greico.
I would personally seek out and destroy all those involved if this ever happened. Grrrr. Or something.
The Usual Suspects 2.
Kevin Spacey is nicked by Chaz Palminteri again and is forced to sit and explain, for 90mins, exactly what the hell went on in the 1st one.
And then Spacey turns out to be the villain.
because he always is.
Planet of The Apes 2:
This time Marky Mark lands on a planet populated entirely by 8ft tall Bonobos.
I can't explain any more without getting banned.
Kevin Spacey is nicked by Chaz Palminteri again and is forced to sit and explain, for 90mins, exactly what the hell went on in the 1st one.
And then Spacey turns out to be the villain.
because he always is.
Planet of The Apes 2:
This time Marky Mark lands on a planet populated entirely by 8ft tall Bonobos.
I can't explain any more without getting banned.
I wish there really was a Dumb and Dumber sequel
*sighs*
How about Waterworld 2, with someone like Kevin Costner in the lead role! Oh dear...
*sighs*
How about Waterworld 2, with someone like Kevin Costner in the lead role! Oh dear...
With American Psycho 2 going straight to video, and From Dusk Till Dawn spawning two useless sequels I think it's about time we had our own pop at creating really bad films from excellent originals.
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
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