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With American Psycho 2 going straight to video, and From Dusk Till Dawn spawning two useless sequels I think it's about time we had our own pop at creating really bad films from excellent originals.
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
Seven 2. Morgan Freeman won't want to come back, but they'll find someone that looks remotely similar, but has none of the talent to play his role. You see there's another nut out tere, only this time he's making killing's based on the colour car people drive. He seems to be playing a killer game of snooker, and our hero just happens to own a pink VW Beetle! Loads of action, buckets of gore, twists that don't make sense and an unsatisfactory ending can all be expecting in the straight to video section when Seven 2 is released.
The Truman Show is running all over again, only this time with a female laed character. At one point in her life she starts to believe that all around her is fake, and we follow exactly the same path as the original movie, with the same damn conclusion. You're allowed to do that in sequels, you see. Elizabeth Berkley stars.
Return to Shawshank takes up back to the setting of the classic movie, The Shawshank Redempion, only this time, there's a really poor story. A new inmate claims to be innocent, but everyone says that, only this guy is different, he seems to have incredible strength, but he refuses to use it on the nasty prison bullies, until one time they go a little too far... Enjoy the slow pace and the poor performances, starring Richard Greico.
You all laughed at Dumb and Dumber, right? Well don't expect to laugh at the sequel when the two dim-witted buddies (played by a couple of newcomers, Carrey and Daniels turned down the chance to return) are joined by a girl just as stupid as they are. Worse still, they're both madly in love with her, but she's engaged to a Mafia boss!
Boogie Nights 2. Only one member of the original cast came back, Burt Reynolds. I mean, he was in Striptease, he's hardly picky with his scripts! This movie just has our man Burt filming more porn, and arguing with stars, but the arguements play second fiddle to the soft porn.
Any more really poor quality sequel ideas sitting in your heads out there?
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Rakuga wrote:
> I still love Father Ted's Speed 3, with the milk float
----------
Ah, that was good. Heh
"I remember MoJoJoJo thought up a sequel/spoof of Seven a while back
where there was a killer copying the seven dwarves"
Wow, that was a few years ago now, I could do a much better job nowadays. Wonder if I can find it somewhere...
> I still love Father Ted's Speed 3, with the milk float
----------
Ah, that was good. Heh
"I remember MoJoJoJo thought up a sequel/spoof of Seven a while back
where there was a killer copying the seven dwarves"
Wow, that was a few years ago now, I could do a much better job nowadays. Wonder if I can find it somewhere...
Very nice Mr Meka, very nice.
LA Story 2
----------
Steve Martin was too busy to return, so looking for another white haired comedy actor in need of a job, they cast Leslie Nielson. Leslie's character is driving along the freeway after 5 years of glorious marriage when his car suddenly breaks down near a traffic sign (again). He sign tells him his marriage is unsuccessful and it actually made a mistake the first time it introduced them.
After a messy divorce scene and several ‘hilarious’ dates, Leslie finds out that it was just his wife playing about with the traffic sign after all and they get back together.
Battlestar Galactica 2
----------------------
This time most of the surviving cast return as they’ve all been out of work for ages. The Battlestar Galactica has found Earth, but after living in Tenby on Wells for 10 years the crew are bored with the bad weather. Starbuck returns after setting up a hugely successful café chain and they set off to find a planet whose superpowers aren’t trying to blow each other up every 5 minutes.
Expect straight to video special effects and plot so thin you could mistake it for air as the bumbling crew try to disguise their ship as a shopping trolley and still make the same old gaffs about earth life as all the other ‘I’ve come down from another planet’ films.
LA Story 2
----------
Steve Martin was too busy to return, so looking for another white haired comedy actor in need of a job, they cast Leslie Nielson. Leslie's character is driving along the freeway after 5 years of glorious marriage when his car suddenly breaks down near a traffic sign (again). He sign tells him his marriage is unsuccessful and it actually made a mistake the first time it introduced them.
After a messy divorce scene and several ‘hilarious’ dates, Leslie finds out that it was just his wife playing about with the traffic sign after all and they get back together.
Battlestar Galactica 2
----------------------
This time most of the surviving cast return as they’ve all been out of work for ages. The Battlestar Galactica has found Earth, but after living in Tenby on Wells for 10 years the crew are bored with the bad weather. Starbuck returns after setting up a hugely successful café chain and they set off to find a planet whose superpowers aren’t trying to blow each other up every 5 minutes.
Expect straight to video special effects and plot so thin you could mistake it for air as the bumbling crew try to disguise their ship as a shopping trolley and still make the same old gaffs about earth life as all the other ‘I’ve come down from another planet’ films.
I still love Father Ted's Speed 3, with the milk float :)
I remember MoJoJoJo thought up a sequel/spoof of Seven a while back where there was a killer copying the seven dwarves.. :)
The problem with thinking up sequels is that so many films have them already now :/
I remember MoJoJoJo thought up a sequel/spoof of Seven a while back where there was a killer copying the seven dwarves.. :)
The problem with thinking up sequels is that so many films have them already now :/
(Following Insane Bartenders Pearl Harbour 2 idea - LOL!)
The Patriot - 2 - The Return Of The Evil/Slick/Stupid (cross off as apliccable) British!
Mel Gibson comes out of retirment as the dastardly British invade the slave filled Land Of LibertyTM. Ater a Count Slime kils Joely Richardson, he goes nuts, charging around with a million other patrioitic Americans, all behaving madly - IN THE YEAR 2050! Again, the Brits never have a clue what to do, and the Americans can single handedly (with help from the French) defeat the Brits and drive back the evil cockney armies to tiny ole 'Ingerland, where it is never sunny, and they annexe it as a 52nd state - ie, Star Wars defence programme test site, with Mel Gibson at its head!
Sorry, got a bit carried away with protest againt US policies!
The Patriot - 2 - The Return Of The Evil/Slick/Stupid (cross off as apliccable) British!
Mel Gibson comes out of retirment as the dastardly British invade the slave filled Land Of LibertyTM. Ater a Count Slime kils Joely Richardson, he goes nuts, charging around with a million other patrioitic Americans, all behaving madly - IN THE YEAR 2050! Again, the Brits never have a clue what to do, and the Americans can single handedly (with help from the French) defeat the Brits and drive back the evil cockney armies to tiny ole 'Ingerland, where it is never sunny, and they annexe it as a 52nd state - ie, Star Wars defence programme test site, with Mel Gibson at its head!
Sorry, got a bit carried away with protest againt US policies!
blahpro wrote:
>
> He he
is annoying....
>
> He he
is annoying....
I predict that after Terminator 3, there will be 4 more sequels with a smaller budget and different actors. They will repeat the storylines of all the other films in the series and have craper special effects and action scenes. Its the same thing which happened to films like halloween, nightmare on elm street and the howling.
Goatboy wrote:
> Terminator 3 is being shot right now.
>
> With a Fembot Terminator.
>
> *shakes head*
>
> "I'll be back"
> "Not until you tidy your things up you won't be"
He he...
> Terminator 3 is being shot right now.
>
> With a Fembot Terminator.
>
> *shakes head*
>
> "I'll be back"
> "Not until you tidy your things up you won't be"
He he...
Terminator 3 is being shot right now.
With a Fembot Terminator.
*shakes head*
"I'll be back"
"Not until you tidy your things up you won't be"
With a Fembot Terminator.
*shakes head*
"I'll be back"
"Not until you tidy your things up you won't be"
Terminator 3: Back in the Habit
Arnie's back to kill James Cameron for leaving such an obvious ending open for another sequel, and his wife has to hide in a convent with Whoopie Goldberg, with an hilarious result.
Arnie's back to kill James Cameron for leaving such an obvious ending open for another sequel, and his wife has to hide in a convent with Whoopie Goldberg, with an hilarious result.
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