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I'll only watch it on the condition that I get to choose the contestants...
1) Seamus Heany:
An alcoholic amateur wrestler from Belfast.
2) Vanessa Feltz:
It appears she was at a loose end.
3) Clancy:
An androgenous Rastafarian herbalist and primary school teacher from norf London
4) Dirk Dirkerevich
On the run from the Russian mafia, hiding in the Big Brother household.
5) Clara Dostoyvich
Russian mafia assassin.
6) Gareth Williams
Full-time Timmy Mallet impersonator and adopted father of 6.
7) Bobby Smee
Big fat lazy dole-scrounge who plans to sit for 8 weeks, only lifting his r-se to let-off once in a while.
8) Janet Janet
Paranoid-schizophrenic hypochondriac who suffers from both claustrophobia and agrophobia.
9) & 10) Bill & Brenda Parker
Siamese twins from Newcastle with a propensity for sleep walking.
> How can watching a group of boring, idiotic people complete pointless
> and unnecessary tasks be entertaining?
Surely this can be applied to most TV shows?
You filthy filthy boy.
I've also heard that C4 have developed a 'V** Cam'.
LOL
Pointing inwards or outwards?
I'd pay to see that
Not any people, just a bed.
Then a chair.
Then a plate.
And I'd make them fight the chickens.
Occasionally I'd wake them at 3am by shining industrial strength torches in their faces and screaming in Japanese.
And I'd make one dress like a clown and menace the weakest of the maniacs, with light slapping as he slept.
And make each room smaller and smaller day by day until you have 8 psychos with no furniture battling hens in one small room, with one dressed like a clown.
I'd watch that.