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I'm a vegetarian, I love animals, well I love them enough not to kill them. Until today that is.
I didn't mean to, honestly. It started last night, when my girlfriend started screaming. What, what's up is she being attacked? No, she is simply screaming because there's a incy wincey little spider in the bathroom.
Now as I said above, I don't kill animals or in this case insects. I opened the bathroom window, got a handful of loo paper and gently wrapped the Spider up and dropped it out the window (the paper cushions it's fall).
So, the spiders alive, outside and my girlfriend is nice and calm, everything's back to normal, well so I thought.
After lunch today, I took some bread out for the birds, a little crusty but they seem to like it. However I was not prepared for the horror that awaited me.
There, lying still on the grass tangled in the Pink loo roll was a bird, a starling I think. As I gently poked it with a stick it didn't move, it was stiff, lifeless, DEAD.
How could I have done such a thing? I thought I was doing good by saving the spider but instead I'd not only got the spider eaten, a poor innocent bird had died, probably of Andrex poisoning, how could I be so cruel?
I buried the bird at the bottom of the garden and put a little rock on top, a little headstone if you like. I'm in remorse now, still wondering how, how I could be so cruel?
I didn't mean to, honestly. It started last night, when my girlfriend started screaming. What, what's up is she being attacked? No, she is simply screaming because there's a incy wincey little spider in the bathroom.
Now as I said above, I don't kill animals or in this case insects. I opened the bathroom window, got a handful of loo paper and gently wrapped the Spider up and dropped it out the window (the paper cushions it's fall).
So, the spiders alive, outside and my girlfriend is nice and calm, everything's back to normal, well so I thought.
After lunch today, I took some bread out for the birds, a little crusty but they seem to like it. However I was not prepared for the horror that awaited me.
There, lying still on the grass tangled in the Pink loo roll was a bird, a starling I think. As I gently poked it with a stick it didn't move, it was stiff, lifeless, DEAD.
How could I have done such a thing? I thought I was doing good by saving the spider but instead I'd not only got the spider eaten, a poor innocent bird had died, probably of Andrex poisoning, how could I be so cruel?
I buried the bird at the bottom of the garden and put a little rock on top, a little headstone if you like. I'm in remorse now, still wondering how, how I could be so cruel?
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unknown kernel wrote:
> And they get paid six quid an hour, the greedy toerags.
They get PAID? I honestly thought that they were doing it for free, it being for CHARITY and all - my opinion of them has gone down even more!
> And they get paid six quid an hour, the greedy toerags.
They get PAID? I honestly thought that they were doing it for free, it being for CHARITY and all - my opinion of them has gone down even more!
Yep, those clipboard wielding charity people are a menace II society, alright. And they get paid six quid an hour, the greedy toerags. I usually stop and talk to the WWF people though, just so that I can say 'Oh, I thought you were SELLING pandas.'
Pingouin wrote:
> Surly you didn't actually say this to them?
Yes - one of my pet hates are people walking up to me in the street and pestering me for money. If I am interested in whatever charity they are from I will donate when I want, my opinion won't suddenly change if they accost me in the street.
My methods of getting rid of them in no particular order:
1) Pretend to be foreign
2) Do a rainman impression
3) Have a go ("have you ANY idea how much the directors of your charity leech from the business?" etc)
4) Scream "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" loudly, then fall onto knees and weep.
> Surly you didn't actually say this to them?
Yes - one of my pet hates are people walking up to me in the street and pestering me for money. If I am interested in whatever charity they are from I will donate when I want, my opinion won't suddenly change if they accost me in the street.
My methods of getting rid of them in no particular order:
1) Pretend to be foreign
2) Do a rainman impression
3) Have a go ("have you ANY idea how much the directors of your charity leech from the business?" etc)
4) Scream "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" loudly, then fall onto knees and weep.
Sadat-X wrote:
> I also saw some animal rights people in town at lunch and they had
> posters (not for sale) of a cat with what looked like a serial port in
> its head. Apparently it was part of a botched experiment to interface
> with an animal's brain. It's horrible what some scientists will do,
> and I felt sorry for the poor cat (I'm quite soft like that as I have
> two moggys). I expressed my feelings to the people behind the stall -
> saying how cruel the experiment was and ultimately how stupid -
> especially since we now have USB which is far quicker and more compact
> that Serial. They didn't find the last part that funny though....
Surly you didn't actually say this to them?
Now after I stopped laughing at the above and some of the other humorous posts,I feel a little less guilty. I suppose there's no actual proof that I murdered the bird or the spider, after all I was only trying to help the spider.
BTW I still stick by my principles and don't condone such things as animal testing, but it's like racism. A raciest joke is wrong, but it doesn't stop you laughing at does it?
> I also saw some animal rights people in town at lunch and they had
> posters (not for sale) of a cat with what looked like a serial port in
> its head. Apparently it was part of a botched experiment to interface
> with an animal's brain. It's horrible what some scientists will do,
> and I felt sorry for the poor cat (I'm quite soft like that as I have
> two moggys). I expressed my feelings to the people behind the stall -
> saying how cruel the experiment was and ultimately how stupid -
> especially since we now have USB which is far quicker and more compact
> that Serial. They didn't find the last part that funny though....
Surly you didn't actually say this to them?
Now after I stopped laughing at the above and some of the other humorous posts,I feel a little less guilty. I suppose there's no actual proof that I murdered the bird or the spider, after all I was only trying to help the spider.
BTW I still stick by my principles and don't condone such things as animal testing, but it's like racism. A raciest joke is wrong, but it doesn't stop you laughing at does it?
I would happily have killed the spider. I hate the bloody things.
I'd also hate to have had a wad of loo roll on my garden.
I'd also hate to have had a wad of loo roll on my garden.
I have NO idea on how to kill a spider...
*Stamps foot and inspects bottom of shoe.*
*Stamps foot and inspects bottom of shoe.*
The traditional method of dealing with the spider-girlfriend problem has always been to put a glass on top of the spider, slide a piece of paper underneath and remove the arachnid from the premises. Recently I've discovered a better method: put a LARGE glass on top of your girlfriend, slide a piece of paper underneath and remove the female from the premises. This is a more long-term solution requiring no killing): the spider will eventually come back, but I guarantee that your girlfriend won't. Voila! Peace, quiet, and an easy conscience.
You didn't need to wrap the spider up. It's mass is so tiny that it can fall quite large distances without any serious injury. It certainly wouldn't be killed by being dropped from a first floor window.
...erm, hope I haven't aggrivated your guilt trip there. Sorry ;)
...erm, hope I haven't aggrivated your guilt trip there. Sorry ;)
I wouldn't feel too guilty - it's unlikely that the loo roll killed the bird. Not unless you threw it out of the window with a brick attached, anyway.
There's all sorts of litter all over the country, and it rarely kills birds. I'd imagine the bird was dead - probably killed by a cat or something - before you even threw the paper out.
There's all sorts of litter all over the country, and it rarely kills birds. I'd imagine the bird was dead - probably killed by a cat or something - before you even threw the paper out.
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