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80 mins gone. Arsenal 1-0 up due to a Thierry Henry goal, Arsenal will win the Premiership if they can just hold on. Peter Clarke, Everton lad, punts a long ball up to the penalty area....big Dunc rises with Hyypia...Dunc wins the header, which bullitts into the top of the net. Dunc runs over to the Everton fans who are going mad with ecstasy....then he lifts up his shirt to reveal....a Liverpool top underneath, the crowd go absolutely wild, and burst into a rendition of You'll Never Walk Alone. It finishes 1-1 and Liverpool win the league. Everton's fans invade the pitch and unfold a massive Liverpool flag.
Maybe not then.
I also expect Spurs to roll over against Liverpool, to try and stop Arsenal winning it. Because they're bitter like that, even though they are unimportant.
You can imagine the dressing-room:
Liverpool Team: Okay, we've got Gerrard, Berger, Smicer, Redknapp, Murphy and Litmanen, let's pass the ball around nicely and score lots of quality goals.
Houllier and Thompson: No no no no no! You've got it all wrong, that won't work. The four midfielders all stay back in their own half and just lump the ball upfield for Owen and whichever other idiot we put up their with him (it won't matter) and let them score one goal. We'll win 1-0....easy!
LT: But isn't that what Arsenal are supposed to do, win 1-0? Aren't Liverpool supposed to play nice attacking football.
H & T: Shut up!
Though I have to say that if we do throw it away, I'm at the point now where I hope United do win it.
Liverpool have been so tediously boring this season that it would be a travesty if they won it.
The tedium has even spread to their fans, with that incessantly droning "Liv-er-pool, Liv-er-pool" chant.
Maybe once the season's over, they'll get back to nicking car radios - that'll put some excitement back into their lives. :-)