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"Metal Gear Sainsburys - Part One"

I was on my way shopping, the rain was pouring down like no tomorrow and I was knackered. Absolutely cream crackered. I had been hoping to play my new game, Metal Gear Solid 2, but no such luck, even after the day I’ve just had. I had just done cross-country at school, and came home to find a note with instructions on. I have to buy and make dinner for everyone tonight. I know what, I’ll sit down and take a rest, I deserve one. I threw myself down on the nearest bench, note in hand, and began to dream…

*dream sequence begins – insert appropriate music here*

Beep! Beep! My codec was beeping – I had a message. I switched to nanocommunications.

(RM18) Hello?

(OtaMum) This is OtaMum here; I finally have the mission details. I’m not sure you are ready for this mission yet, but your’re the best damn choice I have. In fact, your’re the only damn choice I have. Enclosed in an envelope tucked inside the case of the latest Army Men game on the shelf is a shopping list.

(RM18) But what if someone finds it?

(OtaMum) It’s inside an Army Men game case, stupid, No-one will ever search there. Anyway, once located, open it. Inside will be a list of things I need you to get for tonight’s dinner. Be careful, the ingredients are specific and only they will work with this recipe. Understood?

(RM18) Yep.

(OtaMum) Oh, and by the way, I can’t call you RM18 anymore.

(RM18) Why not?

(OtaMum) Orders. I have to give you a new nickname, and since Solid is taken and your dear sweet brother has Liquid, from now on you will be called Gaseous Snake.

(Gaseous Snake) Why that name?

(OtaMum) Because your’re full of hot air! Ha!

(Gaseous) Why you little…

*cut in communications*

Looks like I better get going then…

(1 hour later)

I’m back outside in the rain again! What the… Anyway, there’s Sainsbury’s. I threw my chocolate cigarette on to the floor, stubbed it with my Nike trainer and started running, building up speed and going so fast that the rain started to disappear from my shoulder. Am I invisible? Or was the water affecting my new suit? Oh, no…um…actually, I’m just under a roof now. Ahem. I looked towards the entrance. *sharp intake of breath Huh? Could it really be…after all these years? Is that Revolv…is that Revolv…Yes it is! It’s a Revolving door, I haven’t been in one of these in ages. I ran towards the door and spun around. After a good few hours, I stopped. I had a job to do…

(goes to 2 hour cutscene)

I had a serious mission to do. What my mother…er…I mean OtaMum didn’t know is that I have been making shopping journeys for years. However, times had changed. Ever since the Safeway Moses incident two months ago, I was now working for a different team - Tactical Espionage Supermarket Covert Operations, or T.E.S.C.O. for short. They had been employing me for the last two months, and it was time I produced results.

I looked for the list. It was gone. I must have dropped it when I was in the revolving door! Suddenly, across the watercress, I saw it. The list had fallen into the hands of my goody two shoes brother…Liquid Snake!!

To Be Continued

Hope you enjoyed it…

Russell

I had a strong feeling that you would win for this topic.

Very well done - it really did make me laugh and certianly kept me reading it.

Congrats

Well done on the GAD Russell !!

Well Done.

I'll be looking forward to reading it.

thanks but its a bit short, I might post the full version tonight

I just posted it now to gauge reaction to it

That was pretty damn funny and i reckon could win GAD but what do i know I'm just a newbie well good post some pretty good jokes in there.

Thanks for the good comments

nh wrote:
> RM18 wrote:
>
>
> (OtaMum) Orders. I have to give you a new nickname, and since Solid
> is
> taken and your dear sweet brother has Liquid, from now on you will
> be
> called Gaseous Snake.
>
> (Gaseous Snake) Why that name?
>
>
> Cos you've been eating too many baked beans !!!
>
>
> lol :-)

Lol good one. :D

RM18 wrote:

>
> (OtaMum) Orders. I have to give you a new nickname, and since Solid is
> taken and your dear sweet brother has Liquid, from now on you will be
> called Gaseous Snake.
>
> (Gaseous Snake) Why that name?


Cos you've been eating too many baked beans !!!


lol :-)

Lol that was pretty funny RM18

good effort -

i'll remember that when I go to Safeway

oh that reminds me I must go shopping...

*Falls in to the dream*