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Vampires have always prefered Winter to Summer, not just because the nights were longer, giving them more time to hunt their victims, but because Count Dracula's annual Vampire Ball always took place in Winter.
This year was no different to any other, and when the sun went down on the day of the Vampire Ball Count Dracula rose to see how preparations were going. The disco had arrived, and was doing soundchecks, the decorations were all in place, the only thing that hadn't yet been put in place was the food.
"Where is the food?" asked Count Dracula
"Sorry Master" replied his humble servant "The caterers are running a little late, but should be able to get it all in place early on in the proceedings."
Count Dracula could not hide his obvious disappointment, but what could he do? The Vampire Ball was always about much more than the food, he had much more important things to worry about, like which song to sing for the Karioke contest, for instance.
It was not long after this that other vampires started to arrive. Count Dracula welcomed them all in personally, some distant relatives had travelled all of the way from Mexico, and had been in transit in coffins for quite some weeks, so Dracula made sure they were greeted with a pint of blood each, just to get them in the party mood.
Dracula was particularly pleased to see some of his more recent 'victims' arrive at the party too. These days when you turn someone into a vampire they don't always survive for long, either having their mothers open the curtains whilst they try to sleep during the day, or being staked by some young vampire slayer, but this year there was a pleasing turnout for newbie vampires.
Soon enough the flood of arrivals at the Ball had slowed down to a trickle, and Count Dracula moved away from the door, and indicated to the DJ that the music should commence. Everyone was on the dance floor struting their undead stuff, but it wasn't long before they started to feel a rumbling in their tummies.
Dracula could sense the some disquiet amongst his guests, and this just wasn't on, they couldn't leave his party without being completely satisfied. He swshed his cape, disappearing in a puff of smoke and flew off to see his servant.
"Where is the food?" He asked, showing his fangs in the process.
"Don't worry Master, the caterers have arrived, and are now setting up. It will be ready to wheel out in just a few minutes!"
"Excellent" replied Count Dracula, and made his way back to the party.
"Fellow Vampires, I would like to announce that food shall be arriving in just a matter of minutes, and before that I'd like to present you with a song."
Dracula nodded to the DJ, who put on a record. Dracula grabbed the mic, and started to sing
"I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
And my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the Mash"
most of his guests sung along to this line, which made Dracula perform the rest of the song to an even higher standard. The dance floor was packed, and the vampires kept time remarkabely well, but then again it WAS the monster Mash.
One Dracula finished the song, a massive cheer echoed around the castle, and the audience called out for an encore. But Count Dracula simply shook his head, and pointed to the back of the room, where the buffet was now in place.
Before heading over there himslef Dracula smiled to himslef, it looked like his Vampire Ball was again going to be a success. He finished his glass of blood slowly, waiting for the queue to disappear from the buffet before wandering over to see if he would allow the caterers to live or not.
He was pleasantly surprised by the buffet, human flesh served in puff pastry voulevent, fingers nibbles, including, funnily enough, fingers, and a wide range of sandwiches.
"Sandwiches?" though Count Dracula, and decided to check them out, as he didn't remember asking for sandwiches. They seemed to contain some kind of flesh, though it appeared to have been cooked, which wouldn't have pleased many of his guests.
He decided to try one, see if it would be as bad as he feared, and as he swallowed his first mouthfull he noticed a number of other vampires clutching themselves, struck down with sudden pain. He took one final look at the contents of the sandwich before crumbling to dust. Steak. Damn fatal stake.
This year was no different to any other, and when the sun went down on the day of the Vampire Ball Count Dracula rose to see how preparations were going. The disco had arrived, and was doing soundchecks, the decorations were all in place, the only thing that hadn't yet been put in place was the food.
"Where is the food?" asked Count Dracula
"Sorry Master" replied his humble servant "The caterers are running a little late, but should be able to get it all in place early on in the proceedings."
Count Dracula could not hide his obvious disappointment, but what could he do? The Vampire Ball was always about much more than the food, he had much more important things to worry about, like which song to sing for the Karioke contest, for instance.
It was not long after this that other vampires started to arrive. Count Dracula welcomed them all in personally, some distant relatives had travelled all of the way from Mexico, and had been in transit in coffins for quite some weeks, so Dracula made sure they were greeted with a pint of blood each, just to get them in the party mood.
Dracula was particularly pleased to see some of his more recent 'victims' arrive at the party too. These days when you turn someone into a vampire they don't always survive for long, either having their mothers open the curtains whilst they try to sleep during the day, or being staked by some young vampire slayer, but this year there was a pleasing turnout for newbie vampires.
Soon enough the flood of arrivals at the Ball had slowed down to a trickle, and Count Dracula moved away from the door, and indicated to the DJ that the music should commence. Everyone was on the dance floor struting their undead stuff, but it wasn't long before they started to feel a rumbling in their tummies.
Dracula could sense the some disquiet amongst his guests, and this just wasn't on, they couldn't leave his party without being completely satisfied. He swshed his cape, disappearing in a puff of smoke and flew off to see his servant.
"Where is the food?" He asked, showing his fangs in the process.
"Don't worry Master, the caterers have arrived, and are now setting up. It will be ready to wheel out in just a few minutes!"
"Excellent" replied Count Dracula, and made his way back to the party.
"Fellow Vampires, I would like to announce that food shall be arriving in just a matter of minutes, and before that I'd like to present you with a song."
Dracula nodded to the DJ, who put on a record. Dracula grabbed the mic, and started to sing
"I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
And my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the Mash"
most of his guests sung along to this line, which made Dracula perform the rest of the song to an even higher standard. The dance floor was packed, and the vampires kept time remarkabely well, but then again it WAS the monster Mash.
One Dracula finished the song, a massive cheer echoed around the castle, and the audience called out for an encore. But Count Dracula simply shook his head, and pointed to the back of the room, where the buffet was now in place.
Before heading over there himslef Dracula smiled to himslef, it looked like his Vampire Ball was again going to be a success. He finished his glass of blood slowly, waiting for the queue to disappear from the buffet before wandering over to see if he would allow the caterers to live or not.
He was pleasantly surprised by the buffet, human flesh served in puff pastry voulevent, fingers nibbles, including, funnily enough, fingers, and a wide range of sandwiches.
"Sandwiches?" though Count Dracula, and decided to check them out, as he didn't remember asking for sandwiches. They seemed to contain some kind of flesh, though it appeared to have been cooked, which wouldn't have pleased many of his guests.
He decided to try one, see if it would be as bad as he feared, and as he swallowed his first mouthfull he noticed a number of other vampires clutching themselves, struck down with sudden pain. He took one final look at the contents of the sandwich before crumbling to dust. Steak. Damn fatal stake.
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Meka Dragon wrote:
> Well it hasn't stopped you in the past! ;-)
:-(
Harsh, but fair.
> Well it hasn't stopped you in the past! ;-)
:-(
Harsh, but fair.
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> Unfortunately I don't have the e-mail any more, or I'd post it. Not
> that it was that funny, though!
Well it hasn't stopped you in the past! ;-)
> Unfortunately I don't have the e-mail any more, or I'd post it. Not
> that it was that funny, though!
Well it hasn't stopped you in the past! ;-)
Unfortunately I don't have the e-mail any more, or I'd post it. Not that it was that funny, though!
To be honest I hadn't seen that before, I heard someone say Buffy with a funny accent, and I couldn't let such a daft pun go.
I'm not surprised someone else has already used it though.
I'm not surprised someone else has already used it though.
WòókieeMøn§†€® wrote:
> At the risk of being a spoilsport...
>
> I had something extremely similar to that in an e-mail from a jokes
> list a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't that long, but the story was
> basically the same. :-)
I should add that it wasn't a story like this, but a joke titled "Buffet the Vampire Slayer". I'm not suggesting Meka copied, but I think I know where his inspiration may have come from.
> At the risk of being a spoilsport...
>
> I had something extremely similar to that in an e-mail from a jokes
> list a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't that long, but the story was
> basically the same. :-)
I should add that it wasn't a story like this, but a joke titled "Buffet the Vampire Slayer". I'm not suggesting Meka copied, but I think I know where his inspiration may have come from.
At the risk of being a spoilsport...
I had something extremely similar to that in an e-mail from a jokes list a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't that long, but the story was basically the same. :-)
I had something extremely similar to that in an e-mail from a jokes list a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't that long, but the story was basically the same. :-)
Dringo wrote:
> You did all of that for that joke?
Well THAT'S how dedicated I am to making you lot smile.
:-)
> You did all of that for that joke?
Well THAT'S how dedicated I am to making you lot smile.
:-)
ok..... so these forums are responsible for more than one of you loosing your mind.... oh well best get on with it.
You did all of that for that joke?
Well gotta laugh i suppose :D
Well gotta laugh i suppose :D
m00
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