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"There's ants in my kitchen"

I think I am turning into a girl... I mean last night I watch "Muriel's Wedding" and now I'm getting scared of ants. They're just six legged black dots right? Well, I know they are, but they're in my kitchen and they're crawling everywhere. So what if they found their way upstairs and decided to crawl on my face in the night? It's an outside chance, but a chance nonetheless.

I never used to be afraid of ants. I used to have a pet ant when I was really little. I kept him under a glass on my windowsill and called him Bert, after the sesamie street Bert (who was my idol back then). He only lasted a week or so, before succumbing to the lack of food/oxygen, but I wasn't to know that. The point is that he was an ant that I liked and didn't fear. And now I really don't like the things.

The one's in my kitchen have been quite sociable to be fair. I've known about them for a while and they only come out after 11:00 when most people are in bed. Also they clean up all the crumbs that you've left about. And that was an arrangement that I was happy to live with; it was an amicable agreement where the day was mine and the night was there's.

But no, that wasn't good enough for the ants; they wanted more. They started encroaching little by little on my designated hours. And then when I went downstairs this morning, and there they were, millions of the blighters, all over the floor and the worksurfaces and for what? Why had they broken our treaty? Because someone had left the lid off a tin of maple's golden syrup, syrup whose best-before was about six years ago*. The ants threw away an alliance in the mad sugar frenzy. Fortunately the majority got caught in the syrup and couldn't get out.

Now it's war. I have left out these new-fangled ant traps where the ants can get away, but with a lethal dose of poison that they take back to their nests. That was of course after I had massacred the ones out in the open.

I didn't actually mind the ants that much before, not while they were being sociable. However, they've over stepped the mark, and for that the penalty is death by poison.

*The old syrup just reminded me that we still have some lard that is actually older than me. A block of lard that passed its use-by date 19 years ago. And it's never actually been used, it just sits in our fridge and ages.

We get Ants every year, but they are always outside, they strangely surround the kitchen from outside.

It's rather odd

But luckily for me, we have a hose with a gun like nossel.

So I get to play James Bond on their ass, anyway bugs rule. The most fun I've ever had is with bugs *...Thinks about editing last bit out*

Mr. Happy, your worried about ants crawling over your face at night?

Well here's a fact that might interest you.

Every year, humans consume approximately 5 (or round about that) spiders every year.

I hope that helps

:D

Qui est dereck?

We sent Dereck out on recon a few nights ago... he scouted some Ant positions, but never came back...

:D

me a wuss?

I would feel insulted but I'm too busy hiding behind my chair from the the spider that's crawling across the floor...


The war against the ants is still raging. I destroyed tactical positions in the garden today while mowing the lawn. I was mowing and thinking how dirty the grass looked. But no, it wasn't dirt, it was a huge whopping ants' nest. So I pulverised the baggers with a lethal pressure hosing.

The ones in my kitchen seem to have beaten a hasty retreat. But I'll have to wait until tonight to find out. If there's any there, there'll be hell to pay (I said "there" a lot in the last sentence)...

mind wandering from economics... must revise...

Sibs wrote:

Yeah, you mean Stryke... I'm never nasty about people...(but that Mr. Happy, what a wuss)
;-)

- - -

This just all goes to show, that I really am going insane. Over the last few weeks, I've been forgetting what day it is, whether I did something yesterday, the day before, or even this morning. Then, today, I hit an all time low, and actually had to check my laptop, to see what year it was. I'm also unable to sleep and find myself at 2am, with nothing to do and just my thoughts, to drift me to sleep. I also never feel hungry and get huge headaches. Plus, I can't put on any weight.

Oh well, at least I've still got my *cough* health *cough*

Mr. Nice Guy wrote:

I'd like to agree with Sibs. Shaneo and MoJoJoJo are very annoying
> people. Though, I'd rather have 10 MoJoJoJos in here, then 1 Shaneo.

Yeah, you mean Stryke... I'm never nasty about people...(but that Mr. Happy, what a wuss)
;-)

Anyway, Iguana, I reckon those lizards coulda been Geckos, as Geckos are quite small, and their tails fall off when they are in danger... I guess it's incase something grabs em by the tail so they can still escape!

Anyway, I'd just like to tell everyone Geckos rule! I even had a T-shirt with a gecko on it... (not a real gecko stuck on it, a cartoon picture of one...) :D

*Searches for old Gecko T-shirt*

*WHAT?!? Mum sold it? There's gonna be trouble I can tell ya!*
:D

Agree with Stryke, I think ya mean.

And i don't mind Shaneo thesedays. But MoJoJoJo is starting to get annoying.

You wuss ;-)

I remember, where we used to live, when we got the big flying gits. Not only did they bite you, but they bloody flew!! So, out with the kettle we went and with a swush of boiling water falling on them, we waved goodbye.

I'd like to agree with Sibs. Shaneo and MoJoJoJo are very annoying people. Though, I'd rather have 10 MoJoJoJos in here, then 1 Shaneo.

*laughs heartily)

Mwa ha ha, it is time for my colony to emerge from the ground and begin our yearly invasion of homes, in our never-ending search for sugar and sugary products!

It sounds like we've been very successful so far, and I was the one who led the invasion of Mr Happy's house! As he himself described, we were very successful, it was almost as good as being at Tony's house! Already our sugar supplies are growing, and there is much more to come.

We're off to Grix's soon, followed by Meka's place. You better all have your sugar ready for us, or we will make you cower like cowardly cowards! Oh yes, and we've gone in a new direction this year too...we're invading picnics. Before we've left this to other colonies as it can be very dangerous, but I feel we're ready for it this year.

Anyways, Ants rule, and if you plan on stomping on us or poisoning us then we'll...erm...well, just don't do it.

19 year old lard. That rules.

We have ants in our window sill thingy. It's white and has holes in, and there are loads of ants.

Not really sure what the hell they want, but they're right next to the tv that has Sky digital, so perhaps they want... err... 70's cop shows and mothers that have their son's childrens pulling eachother hair with monkey women presenting the show, or something.

Lou wasn't on Neighbours today, only damn time I watch it in ages, and he wasn't on. That's annoyed me.