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I was just flicking through the channels on my tele, when it said to me "You're a homo". I've seen the advert before that I skipped - it's for Dial4aloan and it's meant to go "If you're a home-owner", but I cut it short by my flicking! Ha ha ha ha.
Dinosaur
A scientist finds evidence of an actual dinosaur, alive and living in the rainforests of South America. He campaigns several universities and succeeds in getting a grant to launch an expedition. Several weeks pass and the expedition party stumble upon a 3 foot tall pigmy standing near a 300 foot long dead dinosaur. The scientist approaches the pigmy and exclaims, "Dear Lord! Did you kill this dinosaur?" "Yep!" replied the pigmy. "But, it's so big and you're so small!" "Yep!" replied the pigmy. "How on earth did you kill it?" inquired the scientist. "With my club," replied the pigmy. "How big is your club?" demanded the scientist. The pigmy replied, "Well, there're about a hundred of us!"
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/haha.htm
> But they do already.
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The Co-op called me sexy
http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/top_45_oxymorons.htm
this is a funny convo
"Adverts should insult you"
But they do already.
" You're a fahking cant, buy some lemonade at iceland beatch "