The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Being popular is everything. Forget happiness, or love...the meaning of life is to be liked by other people. And here, in this thread, in easy-to-follow steps, I'm going to show you how to be a popular poster at SR. Many people have tried to make a guide like this...and they all suck. I, however, rule, so here it is: the essential guide to being a popular UKchatforums poster.
1: GETTING STARTED
You've probably registered by now...so, delete the SR cookie and start again. The first thing you need is a cool name. Usually, an obscure reference such as 'insane' or 'commodity' coupled with a song reference like 'the lost art of keeping a secret' or 'wonderboy'. Then chuck in a gaming reference such as 'Tidus dies at the end of FFX' or 'XBOX is biger than mY dad!1!'...and you're all set! Rearrange them in a confusing order to get stuff like 'Smells like teen excretion celda sucks' or 'SHEEPY' (a clever acronym for Stereophonics Haters Eat Eleven Playstation Yorda). Then, put in your dad's details (because then you can get your 12-year old hands on the Erotic Witch Project with this account) and bang! You're done!
1.7: THE FIRST POST
Even more important than your screen name is what you first attach it to. Of course, you could spend a week scouting out good posters, looking at their style and attempting to emulate it in a lengthy yet well written thread...but that would be sad. Instead, go for one of two avenues - asking a scarily obvious question, or denouncing someone or something. If you're extremely intelligent you could blend these together with something like 'why dOes the Gamecubee have a handel? Is Mario stupid hahaha?' but if you're reading this, I'll have to assume that you're further from 'extremely intelligent' than Tomb Raider is from 'being stupid'. Everybody in the Microsoft forum just LOOOOOOVES a joke, and saying how big and lame and PC in a box the XBOX is in there is both original and hilarious. Of course, you could post in every single forum the topic 'how do i WIN gameaday?', which will probably actually win you a GAD (which I'll go onto later in the topic).
2: YOUR PERSONALITY
When the board has a Copularity Pontest (which is a Popularity Contest for those of you new to SR), you want people to type 'popular' next to your name...of course, some people are lazy and instead of typing popular's seven letters, they type 'spammer'. Still, it means pretty much the same thing. Anyway, to get that special word next to your name (and, for that fact, getting on the list) you need to be in the top 100 posters. This means you need to post alot. A quick way of boosting your post total is to click the 'add message' button about forty times. You can then reply again (clicking add message another forty times) saying 'ops my bad double posst', and all will be forgiven. After a few hundred of these, you can be sure of being at the top...BUT, some sneaky Petes like using the word count table instead, so, find the longest post you can (usually by AliBoy), quote it, and at the bottom write something along the lines of 'dat is too long' (not forgetting to add the message about forty times). To make sure you're prepared if some devious little poster actually asks for your opinion, just remember these points:
1) The XBOX sucks, it is big and a PC.
2) The PC sucks, it is grey and an expensive XBOX.
3) The Gamecube sucks, it is for kiddies and is a purple handbag.
4) The Playstation 2 sucks, it sucks.
5) Everyone that posts on SR sucks, except for you.
6) SR sucks.
7) Wrestling sucks, it is gay.
8) Everything sucks except for Street Fighter II Turbo...on the SNES. The Mega-Drive sucks.
3: STARTING TOPICS
I've taught you how to reply, and how to make your first post...but how will you consistently start new topics? Well, one good idea is to copy out large passages of text from Harry Potter books, breaking copyright laws and annoying everyone...but that's already been done, so you need another way. For starters, you must remember to post everything in the wrong forum. Game Ideas go in FOG Prime, Spoofs go in the Playstation forum, Sports topics go in FOG Chat, Pyramid Schemes go in the Movies forum and...nobody goes in to the Life Forum. That's for girls. If an idiot called El Blokey tells you to post stuff in the right forum, call him a gaylord (forty times). He sucks, and is a gaylord, and everyone will like you even more for making fun of him. If you feel like starting a new topic, you don't even need a subject...make one up. Stuff like 'wouldn't marshmellows make a cool map in Tribes 2' and 'Jesucb /> ua*&la;;qscvs' are brilliant.
4. WINNING GAD
GAD is Game A Day, the only reason everybody posts at SR. If you write the best review, post the best walkthrough, cheats or hints on SR sites or get the most replies to a topic on that day, you win a free game! It's that easy! First of all, you have to remember that the SR staff is really dumb, so the easiest way is to look at the Prize 2 winners list. Look at an old game, and go a few pages back to find a winning review...then just post it again at the front, and you'll win! Hey, if it's good enough to win one game, it can win two, right? So, that can be your starter, and will win you a free year's membership and a free gift (but don't let this stop you e-mailing SR hundreds of times trying to claim a multi-region DVD player). Then, you can try and win the chat forums prize. Go to another foum, such as the one for Edge magazine, and look for a long, well-written topic. Copy and paste it into the new topic box, and you've as good as won! Keep in mind that you can use magazine articles as well as internet ones...and remember to always complain, whine and moan if you don't win. The staff will take pity on you, and rather than ban you, they'll give you more GADs. For Prize 3, you can just steal new cheats from other sites. It's more of a race than a competition, as you have to post new codes before anyone else to win. Of course, you could always steal a walkthrough from gamefaqs.com, but my personal favourite is making up hints for games. You don't have to have ever played a game...just find out what type of game it is, and post some helpful tips. For racing games, stuff like 'hold down accelerate to go faster' is good, and in FPSs, 'strafe around the lemon boss and chuck a horse' has got me out of many sticky situations.
5. BECOMING A NOTABLE
Ever wondered why Edgy is pee-coloured? Well, he's got a bladder problem and he's very sensitive about it, so best leave him alone. Ever wondered why his name is pee-coloured? Well, it's because the forum has voted him in as a very special member of the site (that's very special as in a good guy, not very special as in 'you can use the soft scissors'). Having a pee-coloured name means you command respect...I mean, look at Sniper! He doesn't even have to type fll wrds h's s rspctd! So, when notable season comes round (which is all the time), flood all the forums (except for Life, remember) with propaganda. Catchy slogans such as 'Ignorance is Peace' and 'Vote for me plz' secure votes, and the posts will keep you at the top of the top posters lists. If you want to be a notable, you can't be biased, but that's OK if you keep in mind the rules from Step 2 (you don't like ANY console!)...so what you really need to work on is making sure everyone knows who you are. Firstly, put the sentence 'vote me for noteable' in as your tagline, and in every topic post 'yeh very good vote me for noteabl' (forty times, of course). Spelling notable a new and exciting way every time keeps you fresh, and makes sure everybody knows you're different and cool. When the voting thread comes, vote for yourself. Then make a load of other accounts and vote for yourself too. Of course, I have no way of proving this works, because all the notables so far have been elected fairly, and none of them have u S ed this met H od, hav E th E y...no, P robabl Y not.
6: FIN
Well, by this stage you'll be a notable with tonnes of GADs. Everyone will like you, you'll have a weird name and you'll have a reputation for being objective, and writing good stuff. Come to think of it...by this stage, you'll be Meka Dragon! Still, that's not a bad thing. Well, when you're sitting there in pants you haven't washed in weeks, posting a message forty times on UKchatforums with your pee-coloured name...all I ask is that you think of me, and remember this guide. That's all the thanks I require.
Thank you for reading.
-El Blokey
1: GETTING STARTED
You've probably registered by now...so, delete the SR cookie and start again. The first thing you need is a cool name. Usually, an obscure reference such as 'insane' or 'commodity' coupled with a song reference like 'the lost art of keeping a secret' or 'wonderboy'. Then chuck in a gaming reference such as 'Tidus dies at the end of FFX' or 'XBOX is biger than mY dad!1!'...and you're all set! Rearrange them in a confusing order to get stuff like 'Smells like teen excretion celda sucks' or 'SHEEPY' (a clever acronym for Stereophonics Haters Eat Eleven Playstation Yorda). Then, put in your dad's details (because then you can get your 12-year old hands on the Erotic Witch Project with this account) and bang! You're done!
1.7: THE FIRST POST
Even more important than your screen name is what you first attach it to. Of course, you could spend a week scouting out good posters, looking at their style and attempting to emulate it in a lengthy yet well written thread...but that would be sad. Instead, go for one of two avenues - asking a scarily obvious question, or denouncing someone or something. If you're extremely intelligent you could blend these together with something like 'why dOes the Gamecubee have a handel? Is Mario stupid hahaha?' but if you're reading this, I'll have to assume that you're further from 'extremely intelligent' than Tomb Raider is from 'being stupid'. Everybody in the Microsoft forum just LOOOOOOVES a joke, and saying how big and lame and PC in a box the XBOX is in there is both original and hilarious. Of course, you could post in every single forum the topic 'how do i WIN gameaday?', which will probably actually win you a GAD (which I'll go onto later in the topic).
2: YOUR PERSONALITY
When the board has a Copularity Pontest (which is a Popularity Contest for those of you new to SR), you want people to type 'popular' next to your name...of course, some people are lazy and instead of typing popular's seven letters, they type 'spammer'. Still, it means pretty much the same thing. Anyway, to get that special word next to your name (and, for that fact, getting on the list) you need to be in the top 100 posters. This means you need to post alot. A quick way of boosting your post total is to click the 'add message' button about forty times. You can then reply again (clicking add message another forty times) saying 'ops my bad double posst', and all will be forgiven. After a few hundred of these, you can be sure of being at the top...BUT, some sneaky Petes like using the word count table instead, so, find the longest post you can (usually by AliBoy), quote it, and at the bottom write something along the lines of 'dat is too long' (not forgetting to add the message about forty times). To make sure you're prepared if some devious little poster actually asks for your opinion, just remember these points:
1) The XBOX sucks, it is big and a PC.
2) The PC sucks, it is grey and an expensive XBOX.
3) The Gamecube sucks, it is for kiddies and is a purple handbag.
4) The Playstation 2 sucks, it sucks.
5) Everyone that posts on SR sucks, except for you.
6) SR sucks.
7) Wrestling sucks, it is gay.
8) Everything sucks except for Street Fighter II Turbo...on the SNES. The Mega-Drive sucks.
3: STARTING TOPICS
I've taught you how to reply, and how to make your first post...but how will you consistently start new topics? Well, one good idea is to copy out large passages of text from Harry Potter books, breaking copyright laws and annoying everyone...but that's already been done, so you need another way. For starters, you must remember to post everything in the wrong forum. Game Ideas go in FOG Prime, Spoofs go in the Playstation forum, Sports topics go in FOG Chat, Pyramid Schemes go in the Movies forum and...nobody goes in to the Life Forum. That's for girls. If an idiot called El Blokey tells you to post stuff in the right forum, call him a gaylord (forty times). He sucks, and is a gaylord, and everyone will like you even more for making fun of him. If you feel like starting a new topic, you don't even need a subject...make one up. Stuff like 'wouldn't marshmellows make a cool map in Tribes 2' and 'Jesucb /> ua*&la;;qscvs' are brilliant.
4. WINNING GAD
GAD is Game A Day, the only reason everybody posts at SR. If you write the best review, post the best walkthrough, cheats or hints on SR sites or get the most replies to a topic on that day, you win a free game! It's that easy! First of all, you have to remember that the SR staff is really dumb, so the easiest way is to look at the Prize 2 winners list. Look at an old game, and go a few pages back to find a winning review...then just post it again at the front, and you'll win! Hey, if it's good enough to win one game, it can win two, right? So, that can be your starter, and will win you a free year's membership and a free gift (but don't let this stop you e-mailing SR hundreds of times trying to claim a multi-region DVD player). Then, you can try and win the chat forums prize. Go to another foum, such as the one for Edge magazine, and look for a long, well-written topic. Copy and paste it into the new topic box, and you've as good as won! Keep in mind that you can use magazine articles as well as internet ones...and remember to always complain, whine and moan if you don't win. The staff will take pity on you, and rather than ban you, they'll give you more GADs. For Prize 3, you can just steal new cheats from other sites. It's more of a race than a competition, as you have to post new codes before anyone else to win. Of course, you could always steal a walkthrough from gamefaqs.com, but my personal favourite is making up hints for games. You don't have to have ever played a game...just find out what type of game it is, and post some helpful tips. For racing games, stuff like 'hold down accelerate to go faster' is good, and in FPSs, 'strafe around the lemon boss and chuck a horse' has got me out of many sticky situations.
5. BECOMING A NOTABLE
Ever wondered why Edgy is pee-coloured? Well, he's got a bladder problem and he's very sensitive about it, so best leave him alone. Ever wondered why his name is pee-coloured? Well, it's because the forum has voted him in as a very special member of the site (that's very special as in a good guy, not very special as in 'you can use the soft scissors'). Having a pee-coloured name means you command respect...I mean, look at Sniper! He doesn't even have to type fll wrds h's s rspctd! So, when notable season comes round (which is all the time), flood all the forums (except for Life, remember) with propaganda. Catchy slogans such as 'Ignorance is Peace' and 'Vote for me plz' secure votes, and the posts will keep you at the top of the top posters lists. If you want to be a notable, you can't be biased, but that's OK if you keep in mind the rules from Step 2 (you don't like ANY console!)...so what you really need to work on is making sure everyone knows who you are. Firstly, put the sentence 'vote me for noteable' in as your tagline, and in every topic post 'yeh very good vote me for noteabl' (forty times, of course). Spelling notable a new and exciting way every time keeps you fresh, and makes sure everybody knows you're different and cool. When the voting thread comes, vote for yourself. Then make a load of other accounts and vote for yourself too. Of course, I have no way of proving this works, because all the notables so far have been elected fairly, and none of them have u S ed this met H od, hav E th E y...no, P robabl Y not.
6: FIN
Well, by this stage you'll be a notable with tonnes of GADs. Everyone will like you, you'll have a weird name and you'll have a reputation for being objective, and writing good stuff. Come to think of it...by this stage, you'll be Meka Dragon! Still, that's not a bad thing. Well, when you're sitting there in pants you haven't washed in weeks, posting a message forty times on UKchatforums with your pee-coloured name...all I ask is that you think of me, and remember this guide. That's all the thanks I require.
Thank you for reading.
-El Blokey
Page:
Anus
AfroJoe wrote:
> Still, good stuff. (Y)
I'm still trying to work out what that is :-P
> Still, good stuff. (Y)
I'm still trying to work out what that is :-P
All because it got my seal of approval ;)
Well Done
Well Done
No hard feelings from earlier mate, congrats and er... sorry about the retard business. I might change my name to Bar Bar Jinks? Please reply.
Nice post.
Maybe i should take notes from it so i can have GADS and become popular.
Maybe i should take notes from it so i can have GADS and become popular.
I won't say ironic, but just strange...
:-)
Still, good stuff. (Y)
:-)
Still, good stuff. (Y)
Well done Blokey :-)
Brilliant post mate.
Well done on the GAD.
Well done on the GAD.
I knoew this one would get the GAD for the day.
Well done mate, great post.
Well done mate, great post.
AbsoluT Neó wrote:
> *Whisper*
>
> Pro Evo 2's out 2moro!
And I'm getting it. Duh.
> *Whisper*
>
> Pro Evo 2's out 2moro!
And I'm getting it. Duh.
Page: