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Man...having a girlfriend can sometimes really be a pain in the neck.
But other times they can be the best thing in the world.
It's an odd, odd thing.
And I haven't really posted that much in here, so here goes a not-planned, stream of consciousness topic. I'm not sure where it's headed yet, but we'll see.
-----
I remember when I was a teenager. It seemed like everyone had a girl but me (of course they were all lying but you don't know that when hormones are raging). Would I ever, y'know, do it?
Going to an all boys school didn't help any, had no experience of girls at all. They didn't figure in my world until I hit college at 16, and they were strange and scary things seeing as I hadn't seen them since I was 11 and left primary school.
They were taller, and they had intruiging smells and shapes that definately weren't present last time I encountered them.
It was an all consuming part of my life. From waking up to going to sleep, and quite often whilst asleep.
They seemed so exotic and I couldn't wait to get me some.
(An embarassed fumbling aged 14 at Point Clear Campsite doesn't count, that was my first "proper" kiss and it was a mess. Donna from Dagenham, that's all I know about her.)
And then I got me one.
A girlfriend. A real live lady that wanted to see me naked and let me see her naked.
17 yrs old.
Thank you Jesus, Buddha, Kali and Krishna for creating a woman goodly enough to sleep with me.
And it was excellent, everything I thought.
For a while.
And then it happened. You know exactly what I'm talking about chaps who have been with partners for a while now.
All her little quirks, those wacky little idiosynchroses that were so cute at first?
They irritated me beyond belief now.
I found myself making excuses for not seeing her that weekend and instead playing video games with mates.
But why?
I had waited 17yrs for a proper girlfriend, so why now did I not want to see her every moment I could?
Because she was mental.
They all are.
And we split, one of those "I think we're just too different people" lines (well *duh*,of course you're 2 different people).
And I was a free agent again.
And the girl I did the Hospital Radio ROCK show with (yes, I used to be a DJ until they stuck me on the chart show and I got sacked for playing "Angel of Death" by Slayer for 2hrs instead of the top 40)...until one night, after an Xmas meal out with her and mates and her mates etc, we ended up on the sofa at her place.
Hurrah! New bird!
Excitement again. New things to discover, new white bits to prod and blah blah blah.
It was fantastic.
For a while.
Again.
And then once more, all those things I used to find so endearing wound me up to the point I had to chew my entire face off instead of saying anything.
So we split.
Single again.
New lady once more!
Same old story.
Are you noticing a pattern here yet?
Is it just me? Am I the only guy that feels like this?
The initial thrill and stupid in-jokes turn to a grating acceptance that things just ain't as good as they were when you first started going out together?
You take each other for granted.
Remember when even a brush of her arm against you would give you a chub?
Now she walks about with nothing on and you're watching the news/listening to a CD and don't even try a sneaky-peek like you used to when she bent over.
She used to come in and talk when you had a bath, sit on the loo and chat to you as you joked about stuff.
Oh sure, she still comes in the loo now, but it's to drop the kids off at the pool or put her night-face cream on.
I've spoken to enough women to know they just get "relaxed" and don't make the effort anymore.
They don't shave their legs when you're coming over, they let you see them in their comfy dressing gown instead of the silky number she used to wear especially.
Now the posh undies, the nice ones, are left for things like weddings - you get the stupid teddy bear ones now.
And the things that you DO do, and don't lie.
She says something, you disagree but you dont say anything because you just can't be bothered with the interrogation that will follow if you disagree:
"Oh really?"
"..is that a problem baby?"
"....no"
"Yes it is, I can tell, what's wrong?"
"....nothing."
"...jesus"
"Don't start with me!"
It's just the hassles that seem to crop up time and time again after a certain time period.
Blokes don't do this.
If we have a problem, we'll say to each other
"What the f### is wrong with you?"
"You are"
"Why?"
"Because of..."
And it gets sorted.
There's none of this silent, pinch-lipped hostility and the icy silences when you just *know* you've done something wrong, but you have to guess what it is without being told.
Bah.
Women are evil.
Sometimes.
But sometimes they be nice and soft and warm and stuff.
But then they can also turn into screeching vultures intent on destroying your soul for their own twisted amusement.
Oh, and they talk about everything. Trust me, I work with enough of them every single day around me to know that they've discussed the length of your tool, the way you look when you shoot your bolt, the length of time you spend on the loo.
They complain incessantly. But when you say "Well leave him then", what do they do?
"Oh no, he's ok really"
Yet they moan to each other.
Blokes don't want solutions when we moan, we just want to offload about the crap we've had to suffer that day. It just makes us feel better. But the women have to come up with a solution for us don't they?
No need. Men just want to hear "Yeah, screw that/them/him/her/it, don't worry".
And now my head is full of the evil women and I must go online and shoot my boys wiv my gun.
So, in conclusion:
If you're yet to get a girlfriend and think it's the best thing in the world and you are missing out on everything?
You're not.
The beginning bits are cool, but it soon can turn bad so easily.
That said, I do fancy the pants of my lady, even after 2 years.
I just have to wait until Sunday before I can do anything about it, because she's going to a wedding in Surrey with her girly mate and I get to kitten-sit.
So I'm not bitter or anything.
And no, I didn't complain because of the above reasons.
It's just not worth the hassle.
But other times they can be the best thing in the world.
It's an odd, odd thing.
And I haven't really posted that much in here, so here goes a not-planned, stream of consciousness topic. I'm not sure where it's headed yet, but we'll see.
-----
I remember when I was a teenager. It seemed like everyone had a girl but me (of course they were all lying but you don't know that when hormones are raging). Would I ever, y'know, do it?
Going to an all boys school didn't help any, had no experience of girls at all. They didn't figure in my world until I hit college at 16, and they were strange and scary things seeing as I hadn't seen them since I was 11 and left primary school.
They were taller, and they had intruiging smells and shapes that definately weren't present last time I encountered them.
It was an all consuming part of my life. From waking up to going to sleep, and quite often whilst asleep.
They seemed so exotic and I couldn't wait to get me some.
(An embarassed fumbling aged 14 at Point Clear Campsite doesn't count, that was my first "proper" kiss and it was a mess. Donna from Dagenham, that's all I know about her.)
And then I got me one.
A girlfriend. A real live lady that wanted to see me naked and let me see her naked.
17 yrs old.
Thank you Jesus, Buddha, Kali and Krishna for creating a woman goodly enough to sleep with me.
And it was excellent, everything I thought.
For a while.
And then it happened. You know exactly what I'm talking about chaps who have been with partners for a while now.
All her little quirks, those wacky little idiosynchroses that were so cute at first?
They irritated me beyond belief now.
I found myself making excuses for not seeing her that weekend and instead playing video games with mates.
But why?
I had waited 17yrs for a proper girlfriend, so why now did I not want to see her every moment I could?
Because she was mental.
They all are.
And we split, one of those "I think we're just too different people" lines (well *duh*,of course you're 2 different people).
And I was a free agent again.
And the girl I did the Hospital Radio ROCK show with (yes, I used to be a DJ until they stuck me on the chart show and I got sacked for playing "Angel of Death" by Slayer for 2hrs instead of the top 40)...until one night, after an Xmas meal out with her and mates and her mates etc, we ended up on the sofa at her place.
Hurrah! New bird!
Excitement again. New things to discover, new white bits to prod and blah blah blah.
It was fantastic.
For a while.
Again.
And then once more, all those things I used to find so endearing wound me up to the point I had to chew my entire face off instead of saying anything.
So we split.
Single again.
New lady once more!
Same old story.
Are you noticing a pattern here yet?
Is it just me? Am I the only guy that feels like this?
The initial thrill and stupid in-jokes turn to a grating acceptance that things just ain't as good as they were when you first started going out together?
You take each other for granted.
Remember when even a brush of her arm against you would give you a chub?
Now she walks about with nothing on and you're watching the news/listening to a CD and don't even try a sneaky-peek like you used to when she bent over.
She used to come in and talk when you had a bath, sit on the loo and chat to you as you joked about stuff.
Oh sure, she still comes in the loo now, but it's to drop the kids off at the pool or put her night-face cream on.
I've spoken to enough women to know they just get "relaxed" and don't make the effort anymore.
They don't shave their legs when you're coming over, they let you see them in their comfy dressing gown instead of the silky number she used to wear especially.
Now the posh undies, the nice ones, are left for things like weddings - you get the stupid teddy bear ones now.
And the things that you DO do, and don't lie.
She says something, you disagree but you dont say anything because you just can't be bothered with the interrogation that will follow if you disagree:
"Oh really?"
"..is that a problem baby?"
"....no"
"Yes it is, I can tell, what's wrong?"
"....nothing."
"...jesus"
"Don't start with me!"
It's just the hassles that seem to crop up time and time again after a certain time period.
Blokes don't do this.
If we have a problem, we'll say to each other
"What the f### is wrong with you?"
"You are"
"Why?"
"Because of..."
And it gets sorted.
There's none of this silent, pinch-lipped hostility and the icy silences when you just *know* you've done something wrong, but you have to guess what it is without being told.
Bah.
Women are evil.
Sometimes.
But sometimes they be nice and soft and warm and stuff.
But then they can also turn into screeching vultures intent on destroying your soul for their own twisted amusement.
Oh, and they talk about everything. Trust me, I work with enough of them every single day around me to know that they've discussed the length of your tool, the way you look when you shoot your bolt, the length of time you spend on the loo.
They complain incessantly. But when you say "Well leave him then", what do they do?
"Oh no, he's ok really"
Yet they moan to each other.
Blokes don't want solutions when we moan, we just want to offload about the crap we've had to suffer that day. It just makes us feel better. But the women have to come up with a solution for us don't they?
No need. Men just want to hear "Yeah, screw that/them/him/her/it, don't worry".
And now my head is full of the evil women and I must go online and shoot my boys wiv my gun.
So, in conclusion:
If you're yet to get a girlfriend and think it's the best thing in the world and you are missing out on everything?
You're not.
The beginning bits are cool, but it soon can turn bad so easily.
That said, I do fancy the pants of my lady, even after 2 years.
I just have to wait until Sunday before I can do anything about it, because she's going to a wedding in Surrey with her girly mate and I get to kitten-sit.
So I'm not bitter or anything.
And no, I didn't complain because of the above reasons.
It's just not worth the hassle.
Page:
I stay out of these sort of things and leave it to the more adult members of the forums. So, I'll just lay back in my bed, read on and laugh, in the mist of the shadows.
Goatboy - Half Goat, Half Man, Fully perverted.
;-)
;-)
Yup.
Fun and no emotional baggage or "Where are we headed?" conversations.
Which are always a bad thing, because women and directions don't mix.
Man, I can smell the testosterone ignorance from every pore.
Fun and no emotional baggage or "Where are we headed?" conversations.
Which are always a bad thing, because women and directions don't mix.
Man, I can smell the testosterone ignorance from every pore.
Heh
I speak for millions of downtrodden, frightened men that are scared of being frozen with "that look" should we say anything that digresses from the Masterplan.
Menopause/Masterplan. Only a few letters different.
Eh? Eh?
Scary.
I speak for millions of downtrodden, frightened men that are scared of being frozen with "that look" should we say anything that digresses from the Masterplan.
Menopause/Masterplan. Only a few letters different.
Eh? Eh?
Scary.
Leprachaun wrote:
Ever thought we might have a personality
> underneath our breasts?
-
Ummm...nope.
And of course I'm going to say looks here. Who wouldn't?
Interesting personality? I'm sure but every man knows exactly what that means when your mate has a new woman and you ask "So? What's she like?"
"Great Personality"
"...oh dear"
Being intersting/funny/deep and thoughtful doesn't matter when you have a face like a beanbag.
What do
> you want from us? Sex? or a long lasting, great relationship?
Sex. If we want a long lasting, great relationship we hang out with our mates.
Or buy a dog.
Tell us what's
> bugging you, if we really care about you we'll compromise for you.
No,you'll talk about what we tell you with your girly mates.
I promise you, there isn't a single thing about us men that your girlfriend's mates/colleagues don't know.
Ever thought we might have a personality
> underneath our breasts?
-
Ummm...nope.
And of course I'm going to say looks here. Who wouldn't?
Interesting personality? I'm sure but every man knows exactly what that means when your mate has a new woman and you ask "So? What's she like?"
"Great Personality"
"...oh dear"
Being intersting/funny/deep and thoughtful doesn't matter when you have a face like a beanbag.
What do
> you want from us? Sex? or a long lasting, great relationship?
Sex. If we want a long lasting, great relationship we hang out with our mates.
Or buy a dog.
Tell us what's
> bugging you, if we really care about you we'll compromise for you.
No,you'll talk about what we tell you with your girly mates.
I promise you, there isn't a single thing about us men that your girlfriend's mates/colleagues don't know.
Sex sex sex sex sex sex. Hmm? Ever thought we might have a personality underneath our breasts? If you want to keep women you should really think what attracted you to them in the first place. Looks? Personality? Looks? Personality? Hmm...how many times will you say "looks"?
What do you want from us? Sex? or a long lasting, great relationship? Granted, you're young and sex driven and all, but please please please just love us for our quirks and our little oddities, not just because we give you....in bed.
Seems to me Goatboy that your post was very very sex orientated. Oh, and have you ever heard of compromise? "Talking about it". Tell us what's bugging you, if we really care about you we'll compromise for you. But ditto for you guys as well, because you know you bug us too.
And I am sorry we have out of control hormones, but its not like we can control them or anything. Just give us a wide birth.
We do talk about everything, but it's only because you can't be bothered to talk to us. Its all about communication.
To conclude : It's all about communication.
What do you want from us? Sex? or a long lasting, great relationship? Granted, you're young and sex driven and all, but please please please just love us for our quirks and our little oddities, not just because we give you....in bed.
Seems to me Goatboy that your post was very very sex orientated. Oh, and have you ever heard of compromise? "Talking about it". Tell us what's bugging you, if we really care about you we'll compromise for you. But ditto for you guys as well, because you know you bug us too.
And I am sorry we have out of control hormones, but its not like we can control them or anything. Just give us a wide birth.
We do talk about everything, but it's only because you can't be bothered to talk to us. Its all about communication.
To conclude : It's all about communication.
Page: