Viewing Thread:
"Make your OWN Jerry Springer Script"

http://www.sause.net/Springer/


Check it out.. it's hilarious..

teehee

LOL! Read mine!

Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Dave?
Dave: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with BIGMAN who has recently become engaged to Stephanie.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring BIGMAN out here because Pantoffel had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Amanda that's right!
BIGMAN: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Amanda! You know I'm how I feel about Amanda!.
Stephanie: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Amanda!
BIGMAN: Because I knew that I could never have Amanda. But Pantoffel promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Stephanie: What about respect for MY feelings!
Dave walks suddenly across the stage, embracing BIGMAN.
Dave: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Stephanie: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Stephanie runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Stephanie: Pantoffel take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Stephanie: Married?
You nod.
Stephanie: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Amanda.
BIGMAN: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Amanda: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 7 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Pantoffel is married to Amanda who BIGMAN has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now BIGMAN has recently become engaged to Stephanie who was recently spotted kissing Pantoffel in the My house. Now on top of this Dave has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with BIGMAN.
Amanda: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

:-(

Some desperate attempts here to get word counts up...

Here's mine :0)

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Shaun Munro is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Mouldy Cheese. So everyone please put your hands together for Shaun Munro!
Jerry: Okay, now Shaun Munro you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Trish Stratus.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Trish Stratus, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Shaun Munro, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Ant!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Benelli Shotgun. Ant reaches for the Chair. Out of the shadows Torrie Wilson appears.
Torrie Wilson: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Ant.
Ant: Because I saw Shaun Munro and Torrie Wilson making out at The Temple of FOG!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Torrie Wilson: That's a lie! I was home watching When Courasel Rides Go Wrong!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Ant?
Ant: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Mouldy Cheese who has recently become engaged to Torrie Wilson.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Mouldy Cheese out here because Shaun Munro had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Trish Stratus that's right!
Mouldy Cheese: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Trish Stratus! You know I'm how I feel about Trish Stratus!.
Torrie Wilson: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Trish Stratus!
Mouldy Cheese: Because I knew that I could never have Trish Stratus. But Shaun Munro promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Torrie Wilson: What about respect for MY feelings!
Ant walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Mouldy Cheese.
Ant: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Torrie Wilson: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Torrie Wilson runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Torrie Wilson: Shaun Munro take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Torrie Wilson: Married?
You nod.
Torrie Wilson: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Trish Stratus.
Mouldy Cheese: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Trish Stratus: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 3 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Shaun Munro is married to Trish Stratus who Mouldy Cheese has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Mouldy Cheese has recently become engaged to Torrie Wilson who was recently spotted kissing Shaun Munro in the The Temple of FOG. Now on top of this Ant has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Mouldy Cheese.
Trish Stratus: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

Thats soooo 2001

Here's mine (with a bot of customisation thanks to Word) :

Mr. Snuggly! Mr. Snuggly! Mr. Snuggly!
MR. SNUGGLY: Tonight on the Mr. SnugglySpringer show we have a particularly interesting episode! HelloHowAreYou is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his RastaBillySkank. So everyone please put your hands together for HelloHowAreYou!
Mr. Snuggly: Okay, now HelloHowAreYou you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Mr. Snuggly: And what is this other persons name?
You: Mystique.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Mr. Snuggly: Okay, okay, well Mystique, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Mr. Snuggly: But first we have a surprise for you HelloHowAreYou, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... GoatBoy!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Keyboard. GoatBoy reaches for the Computer Moniter (sp). Out of the shadows SHEEPY appears.
SHEEPY: Wait everybody wait!
Mr. Snuggly: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here GoatBoy.
GoatBoy: Because I saw HelloHowAreYou and SHEEPY making out at Ukchatforums.co.uk!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
SHEEPY: That's a lie! I was home watching UkChatForums.co.uk!
Mr. Snuggly: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem GoatBoy?
GoatBoy: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with RastaBillySkank who has recently become engaged to SHEEPY.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Mr. Snuggly: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring RastaBillySkank out here because HelloHowAreYou had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Mystique that's right!
RastaBillySkank: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Mystique! You know I'm how I feel about Mystique!.
SHEEPY: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Mystique!
RastaBillySkank: Because I knew that I could never have Mystique. But HelloHowAreYou promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
SHEEPY: What about respect for MY feelings!
GoatBoy walks suddenly across the stage, embracing RastaBillySkank.
GoatBoy: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
SHEEPY: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
SHEEPY runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
SHEEPY: HelloHowAreYou take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
SHEEPY: Married?
You nod.
SHEEPY: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Mystique.
RastaBillySkank: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Mr. Snuggly: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Mystique: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 666 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Mr. Snuggly: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... HelloHowAreYou is married to Mystique who RastaBillySkank has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now RastaBillySkank has recently become engaged to SHEEPY who was recently spotted kissing HelloHowAreYou in the Ukchatforums.co.uk. Now on top of this GoatBoy has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with RastaBillySkank.
Mystique: That's right Mr. Snuggly.
Mr. Snuggly: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.

Here's mine (don't read if you haven't done yours yet, it'll take the fun out)


Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
JERRY: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Andrew Rumney is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of his Craig Walsh. So everyone please put your hands together for Andrew Rumney!
Jerry: Okay, now Andrew Rumney you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Joanne.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Joanne, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Andrew Rumney, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Steven Foster!
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a Knife. Steven Foster reaches for the Chair. Out of the shadows Kimberly Puga appears.
Kimberly Puga: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Steven Foster.
Steven Foster: Because I saw Andrew Rumney and Kimberly Puga making out at Newcastle!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Kimberly Puga: That's a lie! I was home watching Byker Grove!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Steven Foster?
Steven Foster: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Craig Walsh who has recently become engaged to Kimberly Puga.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Craig Walsh out here because Andrew Rumney had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Joanne that's right!
Craig Walsh: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Joanne! You know I'm how I feel about Joanne!.
Kimberly Puga: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Joanne!
Craig Walsh: Because I knew that I could never have Joanne. But Andrew Rumney promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Kimberly Puga: What about respect for MY feelings!
Steven Foster walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Craig Walsh.
Steven Foster: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Kimberly Puga: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Kimberly Puga runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Kimberly Puga: Andrew Rumney take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Kimberly Puga: Married?
You nod.
Kimberly Puga: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Joanne.
Craig Walsh: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Joanne: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 11 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Andrew Rumney is married to Joanne who Craig Walsh has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Craig Walsh has recently become engaged to Kimberly Puga who was recently spotted kissing Andrew Rumney in the Newcastle. Now on top of this Steven Foster has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Craig Walsh.
Joanne: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black






Ha ha ha

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!

I just realised.. If i did one on the Notables i could've got a GAD !! :(

That is great. Ask Tazz and DaGroover! I did one on them!

UGH!

never!