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In a world where graphics are everything and the power of a console is directly proportional to how good it is, I thought I'd make a massively uninformed opinion on a bunch of consoles I've never played. Which one is the best?
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Page:
well, my sarcas-O-meter is all run out for another day.
wow. Another well informed, well balanced argument there... And you know what? It really helped me make up my mind as to which console I want.
*represses urge to kill himslef*
*represses urge to kill himslef*
Trust er-no ;)
That was a really terrible topic. Gamecube is not for kids. You smell, and that stuff you said about the emotion chip and everything.
:P
:P
lol- the story as to how it came around is quite funny.
Having not been around very much due to my 6 A levels, as well as lots of other things (I was at a District Lion Charity Club convention all weekend...), I thought I better make an original topic...
So, I clicked on the "Start new topic" link, and pondered what to do... which is when I saw the example: "eg. Console Wars- which is the best?" as a possible topic title...
So there we go then!
Sonic
Having not been around very much due to my 6 A levels, as well as lots of other things (I was at a District Lion Charity Club convention all weekend...), I thought I better make an original topic...
So, I clicked on the "Start new topic" link, and pondered what to do... which is when I saw the example: "eg. Console Wars- which is the best?" as a possible topic title...
So there we go then!
Sonic
I was a bit worried when I read the title, I have to confess.
But I needn't have worried, another top notch post Sonic, and made me chuckle as I was reading it - quite an impressive feat for a monday morning!
But I needn't have worried, another top notch post Sonic, and made me chuckle as I was reading it - quite an impressive feat for a monday morning!
But Meka, that was the point- let's see who just reads the first line and replies;)
You're asking for trouble you know.
The humour will no doubt go over heads, even when apparent, and you'll be accused of being a Sony fanboy and the like.
Still, it made me smile, so it won't be lost on everyone.
The humour will no doubt go over heads, even when apparent, and you'll be accused of being a Sony fanboy and the like.
Still, it made me smile, so it won't be lost on everyone.
I was always under the impression that Dubya's intellect was powered by a Commodore 64 his dad bought from Oxfam. I don't think either of them has figured out how to plug it in yet, though.
In a world where graphics are everything and the power of a console is directly proportional to how good it is, I thought I'd make a massively uninformed opinion on a bunch of consoles I've never played. Which one is the best?
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Page: