The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
In a world where graphics are everything and the power of a console is directly proportional to how good it is, I thought I'd make a massively uninformed opinion on a bunch of consoles I've never played. Which one is the best?
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Let's start with the PS2.
Obviously this is the best console ever. Not only is it very powerful, but it has a chip in it called the "emotion engine" that actually allows games to have emotional content. So realistic are some games, that people have actually dies from heart attacks from playing games like Silent Hill.
The console is so powerful too- it has a processor so big that it actually thinks by itself, and has even been able to beat some small children in a game of pong. The console is even evolving- by feeding Sony large amounts of money, the PS2 will grow a hard drive and modem. With yet more money the console can even grow two more controller ports that, with lots of nurturing and more money, can actually allow the console to enslave an extra 2 people. No longer will Sony need to market their brand- the PS2 will command people what to do.
There are even rumours about the PS3- apparantly it's so advanced that it has to go to the toilet in order to dump some of its ever increasing power. The console will even act as a fully functional baby- requiring constant attention and thousands of pound of money for add ons and upgrades until one day it finally breaks (free).
There are even rumours that GW Bush (Junior) is powered by a PS3- his huge intellect and arrogance being a testomony to the power of the console. Unfortunately, he never read the warning about putting pretzels in the CD drive.
But what about the Xbox?
Well, this is just pants. MS have tried to make the console as big as possible so that it looks like it has a really big processor in. In fact, the console is simply filled with a big green eye that MS use to spy on you with. The console is so big that you'll never be able to buy another company's products because you don't have the space for them.
Some Japanese families have even had to run in fear of their Xboxs. The consoles have already forced them to buy another flat to store it in, and are now turning DVDs into super-sharp ninja shuriken stars that the console spits out at all those who do not obey Bill Gates- hence the whole world population is at risk.
MS have even announced that they are making the Ybox- a console so big that it is planned to be replace the sun as the gravitaional attractor of the solar system. It's Earth-sized green eye will house Bill Gates, and allow him to become supreme ruler of the universe.
Oh, and the Gamecube is just for kids.
Sonic
Page:
So Sonic, which Newbie was it this time that asked you to post their topic in this forum??? ;)
And if anyone really want to know which console is the best, or which they should choose, they have to break it up into different categories.
Games are the most important things for making a console descision.
You could have categories for the likes of RPG's, Racing, FPS's and co., and then decide on a console by comparing all these types of games on each format.
You shoudln't just go by what you think by how it looks or feels.
And if anyone really want to know which console is the best, or which they should choose, they have to break it up into different categories.
Games are the most important things for making a console descision.
You could have categories for the likes of RPG's, Racing, FPS's and co., and then decide on a console by comparing all these types of games on each format.
You shoudln't just go by what you think by how it looks or feels.
Er, I think everyone saw the point of the topic Sonic...
Neilc! Finally someone gets the topic! Did no one realise I was serious about what I said?!?
playstation2 is obviously the best, cause I have one and its the best, and its Sony and Sony make really good things, my walkman is Sony and its the best. game cube is rubbish cause its not even out yet, and its really rubbish because of the games and stuff, my little brother even wants one, how uncool is that?? and the Xbox is rubbish because its 300 pounds, only an idiot would spend that much ! and its only got 5 games and its microsoft, they dont even make games!
neilc
neilc
Brilliant topic!
Being in gaming journalism as long as I have, you see so many poor attempts to compare consoles- based on power, graphics and street-cred.
The amazing thing about this topic is that it's exactly what people have actually said about the consoles, but just taken a "little" further, showing the stupidity of their arguments!
Oh, and it's very, very funny too! I especially liked the last line about the Gamecube!
Being in gaming journalism as long as I have, you see so many poor attempts to compare consoles- based on power, graphics and street-cred.
The amazing thing about this topic is that it's exactly what people have actually said about the consoles, but just taken a "little" further, showing the stupidity of their arguments!
Oh, and it's very, very funny too! I especially liked the last line about the Gamecube!
===SONICRAV---> wrote:
> Umm... sibs... you're losing it
losing it? I lost it ages ago... in fact, so long ago, I can't even remember what "it" is...
> Umm... sibs... you're losing it
losing it? I lost it ages ago... in fact, so long ago, I can't even remember what "it" is...
Cheers nh.... but, out of interest, who are you? I'm sure I must have seen you around before- have you changed your name at all?
Good one Sonic - When I saw the title I did have my doubts and thought - oh no not another one !!
I'm glad you have finally given us all the truth - I will definately steer clear of the X Box now. I think the world needs to know though - why dont you send this to the editor of the daily star - It will definately make the front page ..
I'm glad you have finally given us all the truth - I will definately steer clear of the X Box now. I think the world needs to know though - why dont you send this to the editor of the daily star - It will definately make the front page ..
You're right about the Gamecube
Umm... sibs... you're losing it
Page: