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The first thing I saw was my Playstation 2. It edged its way over to the widescreen TV, nestling up against it. It climbed up the cabinet, and managed to position itsself on the top of the telly, looking down on all the other consoles. Then, the XBOX roared to life. It looked around the room, and upon seeing the PC, it sped off. Within seconds the thing was suckling at the PC monitor's standby button, making gurgling sounds not entirely unlike a baby pig being fed milk by its mother. It was as if I had walked into the set of some weird geeky version of Toy Story. My Tekken Tag Tournament disk kicked its way out of the packaging, and Super Smash Brothers struggled free, and the two began trading blows, TTT stringing together combos and juggles, whilst Super Smash Brothers kept morphing into different games, firing projectiles and throwing removable parts of the scenery. Then, all of a sudden, I saw Super Smash Brothers fall flat on its face. Tekken looked on in amazement, before falling down too. I looked across the room, only to see Halo, crouched behind a can of Coca Cola, gazing through the sights of a sniper rifle. I knew something had to be done...but in the end, I didn't have to. GTA3 had sneaked up behind Halo and with a swift swing of the baseball bat, it was rendered unconscious. GTA3 then got out a machine gun, and started firing more rounds at Halo's body, grabbing the money that the disc spat out.
Then I heard some laughter, and saw that the Gamecube was up. It had come across a magazine with some screenshots of BMX XXX, and was giggling like a schoolgirl. I sighed, rolling my eyes, and saw that my friends has also woken up, and were seeing the bizarre sight for themselves. I signed for them to be quiet, as the games and machines hadn't noticed us yet, and I had no idea what would happen if they did. The Gamecube was laughing even louder now, mainly because Dead Or Alive 3 was bouncing around, swinging its ponytails from side to side and generally being flirty. I noticed Ico climbing up the phone's extension cord, stopping every once and again to check on Yorda, who had decided to wander off and stand on top of the PS2 memory card. Then I had an almighty crash: GTA3 had stolen Project Gotham Racing, and had just slammed it into a leg of the coffee table, running over Luigi's Mansion and Super Monkey Ball in the process. It quickly drove over to the computer, circling the XBOX's sizeable girth to get to PaintShop Pro to respray PGR and evade the cops.
I could see Tony Hawk's 3 nosesliding round and round the XBOX pad. I think that Smackdown 3 shares my thoughts about grind bores, because it flew across the room and speared THPS3 right off the controller, and into the side of the sofa. Mario was sportingly cleaning up the bloody remains of Luigi's Mansion and Super Monkey Ball with the FLUDD, just as the XBOX decided to climb down from the PC monitor. It accidentally trampled GTA3 as it watched PaintShop Pro spraying Project Gotham. Some might say it was an accident waiting to happen, but the protective PS2 took offence, and climbed down the TV and squared up to the Microsoft machine. Just as it seemed they were about to come to blows, they both turned their heads to discover what was making the dull 'ngrhhhhh' sounds. What they saw was Resident Evil, about to bite the face off of Princess Yorda.
Both being gentlemen, the consoles decided to help out the fair maiden, warding off Resi, and along the way they seemed to forget their differences, going their seperate ways when Ico had safely escorted her to the couch. Onimusha 2 and Genma Onimusha were chatting like old friends, and Pro Evolution Soccer and Fifa 2003 were trading headers. For one blissfull moment, all the games and consoles had forgotten that they were competing, and were just enjoying themselves. They even went so far as to compliment each other on their graphics, production values or what have you. It seemed magical, like what the gaming industry could be like if God caused a flood that drowned all zealots and fanboys...
Alas, then Joe farted and all the games and consoles scuttled back into their boxes.
Thanks for reading.
-El Blokey
Everyone should take pleasure from their small powers.
> NOT FUNNY!
JEALOUS!
> Idiot
*****
HMmm i think i meant to post that somewhere else
Thanks for the positive replies, anyway.