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"My srory and I can't think of a title."

ire,screaming and rain.The villiage is dark and dismal,all villagers are trapped and nowhere is safe.A woman runs out carrying her baby,a dark figure pursues them.He knocks her over,making her drop her precious bundle.He draws his blade and strikes the woman,her screams are drowned out but the cracks of thunder….that’s where he wakes up.The boy has that dream every night,and it ends at the same place.He asks the same questions every night,who is that man,who is that woman,who is that baby,and why do I get this dream every night.
The boy goes by the name of Shaneo.Shaneo is a outcast of the land of FOG in the olden times.He doesn’t know what he did so wrong to deserve this,he doesn’t even know who his parents are.He believes he has no reason to exist,yet he does.
One morning,Shaneo is sitting on a stump outside his tree house when he hears a beckoning voice calling his name.He got up and started to follow the voice deep into the forest of light (where he lives),he finally came across the temple of the forest,the temple that guards all.The voice seemed to come from the temple so Shaneo entered.He came into a room,actually more of a maze,
‘Just keep to the left and I’ll get through it fine’ Shaneo muttered to himself.He kept to the left and ended up in a room with a hooded figure in it.A green light surrounded the figure who was muttering a magical verse,then,they looked around and took their hood off.Shaneo gasped as the person revealed themselves,long green hair,ravishing beauty,the clothes of a forest godess,surely it couldn’t be…but it was,the godess of the forest,it was Iguana.She looked up and spoke in a soothing voice,
‘The time of prophecy is upon us.You,Shaneo,shall save our homeland of FOG.The death of your father,Salevaa,13 years ago,means that you shall save us.First you need to find the princess Mystique.T can’t give you a blade but I can give you the power of the forest,’ Iguana raised her hands ‘behold.’
A bright green light surrounded Shaneo,he gave a cry of pain at its sheer power.When it had ended,Shaneo was on the floor gasping for air.Iguana smiled and said
‘Gather your most precious belongings and go find Mystique and good luck.’
Shaneo made a quick escape and left the forest after getting his only belongings.He followed the path but was stopped by a loud voice,
‘Get back to your dwellings,you don’t belong here.Outcast.’
‘And why should I go?Tell me seeming you think you’re the king.’
The old man replied, ‘I am a wiseman and I am called Ant.’
Shaneo glared at Ant, ‘Well,it’s not very wise to mess about with Shaneo!’
‘Did you say “Shaneo”?’ Ant looked interested.
‘Yes.Why?’ Shaneo got confused at Ant’s interest.
‘I think we may have been expecting you,’ Ant walked towards Shaneo ‘I believe I know who you’re family were.You’re mother was only 18 when you were born,you lived in a village which is in ruins.During the dark ages just after you were born your father was called upon as a hero to destroy the evil,unfortunately,he got too cocky and was killed by Edgy.Your mother wept for weeks,but then Homerus Beerus Solidus destroyed your village,your mother tried to escape but he got her and killed her,you’re the only male survivor from your clan,you’re unique because you’ve got powerful magic,use it well.’
Shaneo suddenly burst into tears.
‘W-w-w-why did they kill them.’
‘They knew that you’re family had a long line of powerful people and they feared it,they killed your parents to make you weak because you are the child in the prophecy.But it only made you an outcast,it’s a belief that if a child has no parents then they are bad so we send them off into a part of FOG to make us safe.That is a stupid belief so I’m going to help you.’
‘Will I be hated?’
‘Yes you will,but I know people that will help you,there is a escaped convict called Tony Blair,a soldier in training called Allardini,the mysterious Lord Badger,prince SonicRav,the Exterminator a monk in training,Toni Cabriani the psychic child,KidRock the master swordsman and the other survivour from your clan called Little Hedgehog,she has the magical power of water and can do has mystical kung-fu powers.Also,watch out for Homerus Beerus Solidus and Edgy's sidekicky minion,1/2 pint,he uses a large swiss cheese as a weapon (his idea not mine)’
‘Hey,why don’t I get mystical kung-fu powers.’
‘You have mystical ninjustu powers.Now go,find them,we will meet again.Good luck.’
And with that Shaneo ran off into the town nearby.

I was wondering about the first word there.

A new dictionary there!

Srory and ire.... story and fire no?


Not enough description and try paragraphs... chunks of writing put me off reading it!

Remember -

Double space after a ful stop

Single space after a comma

Other than that, its a worthy addition to the rest of the SR stories.

Thanks.
I'm proud of my hard work.

Good beginning to what could turn out to be a good story!!

*(thinks to himself)Hahaha I am the supreme evil!!!!*

ire,screaming and rain.The villiage is dark and dismal,all villagers are trapped and nowhere is safe.A woman runs out carrying her baby,a dark figure pursues them.He knocks her over,making her drop her precious bundle.He draws his blade and strikes the woman,her screams are drowned out but the cracks of thunder….that’s where he wakes up.The boy has that dream every night,and it ends at the same place.He asks the same questions every night,who is that man,who is that woman,who is that baby,and why do I get this dream every night.
The boy goes by the name of Shaneo.Shaneo is a outcast of the land of FOG in the olden times.He doesn’t know what he did so wrong to deserve this,he doesn’t even know who his parents are.He believes he has no reason to exist,yet he does.
One morning,Shaneo is sitting on a stump outside his tree house when he hears a beckoning voice calling his name.He got up and started to follow the voice deep into the forest of light (where he lives),he finally came across the temple of the forest,the temple that guards all.The voice seemed to come from the temple so Shaneo entered.He came into a room,actually more of a maze,
‘Just keep to the left and I’ll get through it fine’ Shaneo muttered to himself.He kept to the left and ended up in a room with a hooded figure in it.A green light surrounded the figure who was muttering a magical verse,then,they looked around and took their hood off.Shaneo gasped as the person revealed themselves,long green hair,ravishing beauty,the clothes of a forest godess,surely it couldn’t be…but it was,the godess of the forest,it was Iguana.She looked up and spoke in a soothing voice,
‘The time of prophecy is upon us.You,Shaneo,shall save our homeland of FOG.The death of your father,Salevaa,13 years ago,means that you shall save us.First you need to find the princess Mystique.T can’t give you a blade but I can give you the power of the forest,’ Iguana raised her hands ‘behold.’
A bright green light surrounded Shaneo,he gave a cry of pain at its sheer power.When it had ended,Shaneo was on the floor gasping for air.Iguana smiled and said
‘Gather your most precious belongings and go find Mystique and good luck.’
Shaneo made a quick escape and left the forest after getting his only belongings.He followed the path but was stopped by a loud voice,
‘Get back to your dwellings,you don’t belong here.Outcast.’
‘And why should I go?Tell me seeming you think you’re the king.’
The old man replied, ‘I am a wiseman and I am called Ant.’
Shaneo glared at Ant, ‘Well,it’s not very wise to mess about with Shaneo!’
‘Did you say “Shaneo”?’ Ant looked interested.
‘Yes.Why?’ Shaneo got confused at Ant’s interest.
‘I think we may have been expecting you,’ Ant walked towards Shaneo ‘I believe I know who you’re family were.You’re mother was only 18 when you were born,you lived in a village which is in ruins.During the dark ages just after you were born your father was called upon as a hero to destroy the evil,unfortunately,he got too cocky and was killed by Edgy.Your mother wept for weeks,but then Homerus Beerus Solidus destroyed your village,your mother tried to escape but he got her and killed her,you’re the only male survivor from your clan,you’re unique because you’ve got powerful magic,use it well.’
Shaneo suddenly burst into tears.
‘W-w-w-why did they kill them.’
‘They knew that you’re family had a long line of powerful people and they feared it,they killed your parents to make you weak because you are the child in the prophecy.But it only made you an outcast,it’s a belief that if a child has no parents then they are bad so we send them off into a part of FOG to make us safe.That is a stupid belief so I’m going to help you.’
‘Will I be hated?’
‘Yes you will,but I know people that will help you,there is a escaped convict called Tony Blair,a soldier in training called Allardini,the mysterious Lord Badger,prince SonicRav,the Exterminator a monk in training,Toni Cabriani the psychic child,KidRock the master swordsman and the other survivour from your clan called Little Hedgehog,she has the magical power of water and can do has mystical kung-fu powers.Also,watch out for Homerus Beerus Solidus and Edgy's sidekicky minion,1/2 pint,he uses a large swiss cheese as a weapon (his idea not mine)’
‘Hey,why don’t I get mystical kung-fu powers.’
‘You have mystical ninjustu powers.Now go,find them,we will meet again.Good luck.’
And with that Shaneo ran off into the town nearby.