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Everyone knows that eating cheese before you go to bed can give you nightmares. Whatever way you look at it, it is true. There's a special chemical in cheese that makes the brain work overtime, thus you remember the dream/nightmare. You may not know it, but you dream every night, and you only remember some. So, what can cheese do to your gaming skills? Well, here at the MRCCIA (Medical Research Center for Cheese Induced Activities) decided to find out. We used five different types of cheese on Joe Test E.R and set to record the results. I believe it's time to start the experiment.
Cheese test [1] Cheshire Cheese.
What better way to start the cheese tests with the original cheese, Cheshire Cheese. It's mellowy flavour and pasty taste is perfect for this test. Let's see how Joe reacted to the cheese.
"We gave Joe 330g of Cheshire Cheese, to eat before he played. We let him decide which game and console to play for this test, and he settled for Amped on Xbox. We go live now to experience Joe's cheese-fuelled gaming experience."
"It's weird. Before, I hated this game. I hated it because I was crap at it. Now, I just got a new high score on the Last level, and worked out how to do the cheats, just from guessing. I don't know what it is, but I feel pumped on a cheesy-like Red Bull! Thank the stars for cheese!"
"Well, Cheshire cheese is obviously a success. Cheshire cheese normally has a strength rating of two, but we give it an MRCCIA rating of 5. It's mellow, yet full of punch that'll give you that edge at games. Now, onto the next test!"
Cheese test [2] Swiss Cheese.
Cheese number two winds its way from Switzerland, home of yodeling, clocks, chocolate, pocket knifes with every attachment possible, those funky Swatch Watches and cheese with lots of holes. Its perfect flavour, consisting of a strong aromatic taste, due to the highland cattle of the Swiss Alps, gives it a unique taste that is best eaten melted on top of burgers. Joe ate, this time, 520g of the stuff, lets see how he got on.
"Joe experienced some strange side effects from eating the large amount of Swiss Cheese. He complained of pink cows, the room swirled and a large vein popped out on the side of his head. He decided to play Super Mario Sunshine on Gamecube, and he commented that, "Mario was never this fat, he went on weight watchers, remember?" and, "My mummy says I'm special. I have a pencil in my ear and I'm damned if I'll take it out!" Obviously, the cheese was a failure, and no one should ever consume such a large amount of the stuff. The Swiss have built up an immunity to large amounts of Swiss cheese, and therefore, they are the only ones who should eat that much."
Well, that was certainly different. Swiss cheese, therefore, gets an MRCCIA of 0, and should be left well alone before you play. Onto cheese number 3!
Cheese test [3] Red Leicester.
Cheese 3 comes from the English town of Leicester, and it's strange reddish colour gives it strange looks whilst sitting on the shelves at supermarkets. Still, it has a great taste, and is one of the favourite cheeses to use in Toasted Sandwiches. Let's see how Joe got on with this cheese then!
"Joe consumed a very small amount of Red Leicester, roughly 70g. He chose Metal Gear Solid 2 on the PS2 and we left him to it. Here's what he said."
"When I used to play MGS2, I didn't really notice how many times I got shot when I shouldn't have. After the Red Leicester, I finally realised; there is another way. Run through the game with no gun at all, and strafe the whole time. No shooting, no worries."
"Joe obviously forgot about the bosses, in which you HAVE to use a gun, deeming the cheese a failure, and an MRCCIA rating of 0. Leave it to the toasted sandwiches."
Oh dear, two failure cheese in a row. Let's hope cheese 4 is a success!
Cheese Test [4] Blue Stilton.
Blue Stilton, the cheese with the manky blue mould inside is cheese 4. During the making process, holes are made through the cheese, allowing the mould to grow. How this is tasty, we don't know, but we intend to research that in our next test. Anyway, its strong and powerful flavour are great for after dinner meals, and it goes well when accompanied with crackers. Let's see Joe in his element, with the Blue Stilton.
"Joe responded very well to the Blue Stilton. He chose to play Fifa 98 on PS1. Here's what he had to say."
"Well, what a surprise. The cheese that smells like my feet allowed me to play like David Beckham. I dribbled with ease (Both on the screen and in real life) and scored many goals. Cheesy smelling Cheese rules, even if it looks like the veins on the back of an old lady's leg!"
Blue Stilton, the cheese that makes kids go 'Yuck' was a success, earning a well-deserved MRCCIA rating of 4! Onto the last cheesy test.
Cheese Test [5] Cheese X
Cheese X is a new form of cheese, developed by Dennis Bergkamp, it has a powerful Kick (Ha-Ha) and is a sure goal (Ha-Ha) with anyone who tries it. We go live to the test supervisor, as the test is about to start.
"Exactly 120g of Cheese X was given to Joe, and it is vital that we monitor his heart beat too. That's why we hooked him up to a CHTM (Cheesy heart testing Machine) as he plays Space Invaders in an old arcade."
"Hah! You can beep, but you can't survive! MWAHAHAH!"
"It is plainly obvious that Cheese X has made Joe hyper, and therefore should not be consumed in large quantities. His heartbeat is off the scale, and his eye is constantly twitching. It was a success though, as Joe completed space invaders with just one coin."
Wow! Dennis has the better start with Cheese X, and it won't be long before it strikes (Ha-Ha) into 1st place on the Cheese Table. An amazing MRCCIA rating of 6! That's all from the MRCCIA today, join us sometime in the near future, when we see how cheese affects the typical fisherman. Good bye!
-------------
So there you have it, you may think you're good at gaming, but you'll be better if you eat Cheshire, Blue Stilton or Cheese X before you play. It won't be long before cheese becomes the next playground craze. Nintendo have already signed deals with many large cheese manufacturers around the world, in order to create Pikacheese, the next evolution of Raichu in the popular series, Pokemon- Cheese version.
How long will it be before cheese sweeps the nation? Only time can tell, but until then, I'm going to stock up on some Blue Stilton and beat my friends at Timesplitters 2.
Thanks for reading.
Microcheese, er, chips.
:D
Cheese test [1] Cheshire Cheese.
What better way to start the cheese tests with the original cheese, Cheshire Cheese. It's mellowy flavour and pasty taste is perfect for this test. Let's see how Joe reacted to the cheese.
"We gave Joe 330g of Cheshire Cheese, to eat before he played. We let him decide which game and console to play for this test, and he settled for Amped on Xbox. We go live now to experience Joe's cheese-fuelled gaming experience."
"It's weird. Before, I hated this game. I hated it because I was crap at it. Now, I just got a new high score on the Last level, and worked out how to do the cheats, just from guessing. I don't know what it is, but I feel pumped on a cheesy-like Red Bull! Thank the stars for cheese!"
"Well, Cheshire cheese is obviously a success. Cheshire cheese normally has a strength rating of two, but we give it an MRCCIA rating of 5. It's mellow, yet full of punch that'll give you that edge at games. Now, onto the next test!"
Cheese test [2] Swiss Cheese.
Cheese number two winds its way from Switzerland, home of yodeling, clocks, chocolate, pocket knifes with every attachment possible, those funky Swatch Watches and cheese with lots of holes. Its perfect flavour, consisting of a strong aromatic taste, due to the highland cattle of the Swiss Alps, gives it a unique taste that is best eaten melted on top of burgers. Joe ate, this time, 520g of the stuff, lets see how he got on.
"Joe experienced some strange side effects from eating the large amount of Swiss Cheese. He complained of pink cows, the room swirled and a large vein popped out on the side of his head. He decided to play Super Mario Sunshine on Gamecube, and he commented that, "Mario was never this fat, he went on weight watchers, remember?" and, "My mummy says I'm special. I have a pencil in my ear and I'm damned if I'll take it out!" Obviously, the cheese was a failure, and no one should ever consume such a large amount of the stuff. The Swiss have built up an immunity to large amounts of Swiss cheese, and therefore, they are the only ones who should eat that much."
Well, that was certainly different. Swiss cheese, therefore, gets an MRCCIA of 0, and should be left well alone before you play. Onto cheese number 3!
Cheese test [3] Red Leicester.
Cheese 3 comes from the English town of Leicester, and it's strange reddish colour gives it strange looks whilst sitting on the shelves at supermarkets. Still, it has a great taste, and is one of the favourite cheeses to use in Toasted Sandwiches. Let's see how Joe got on with this cheese then!
"Joe consumed a very small amount of Red Leicester, roughly 70g. He chose Metal Gear Solid 2 on the PS2 and we left him to it. Here's what he said."
"When I used to play MGS2, I didn't really notice how many times I got shot when I shouldn't have. After the Red Leicester, I finally realised; there is another way. Run through the game with no gun at all, and strafe the whole time. No shooting, no worries."
"Joe obviously forgot about the bosses, in which you HAVE to use a gun, deeming the cheese a failure, and an MRCCIA rating of 0. Leave it to the toasted sandwiches."
Oh dear, two failure cheese in a row. Let's hope cheese 4 is a success!
Cheese Test [4] Blue Stilton.
Blue Stilton, the cheese with the manky blue mould inside is cheese 4. During the making process, holes are made through the cheese, allowing the mould to grow. How this is tasty, we don't know, but we intend to research that in our next test. Anyway, its strong and powerful flavour are great for after dinner meals, and it goes well when accompanied with crackers. Let's see Joe in his element, with the Blue Stilton.
"Joe responded very well to the Blue Stilton. He chose to play Fifa 98 on PS1. Here's what he had to say."
"Well, what a surprise. The cheese that smells like my feet allowed me to play like David Beckham. I dribbled with ease (Both on the screen and in real life) and scored many goals. Cheesy smelling Cheese rules, even if it looks like the veins on the back of an old lady's leg!"
Blue Stilton, the cheese that makes kids go 'Yuck' was a success, earning a well-deserved MRCCIA rating of 4! Onto the last cheesy test.
Cheese Test [5] Cheese X
Cheese X is a new form of cheese, developed by Dennis Bergkamp, it has a powerful Kick (Ha-Ha) and is a sure goal (Ha-Ha) with anyone who tries it. We go live to the test supervisor, as the test is about to start.
"Exactly 120g of Cheese X was given to Joe, and it is vital that we monitor his heart beat too. That's why we hooked him up to a CHTM (Cheesy heart testing Machine) as he plays Space Invaders in an old arcade."
"Hah! You can beep, but you can't survive! MWAHAHAH!"
"It is plainly obvious that Cheese X has made Joe hyper, and therefore should not be consumed in large quantities. His heartbeat is off the scale, and his eye is constantly twitching. It was a success though, as Joe completed space invaders with just one coin."
Wow! Dennis has the better start with Cheese X, and it won't be long before it strikes (Ha-Ha) into 1st place on the Cheese Table. An amazing MRCCIA rating of 6! That's all from the MRCCIA today, join us sometime in the near future, when we see how cheese affects the typical fisherman. Good bye!
-------------
So there you have it, you may think you're good at gaming, but you'll be better if you eat Cheshire, Blue Stilton or Cheese X before you play. It won't be long before cheese becomes the next playground craze. Nintendo have already signed deals with many large cheese manufacturers around the world, in order to create Pikacheese, the next evolution of Raichu in the popular series, Pokemon- Cheese version.
How long will it be before cheese sweeps the nation? Only time can tell, but until then, I'm going to stock up on some Blue Stilton and beat my friends at Timesplitters 2.
Thanks for reading.
Microcheese, er, chips.
:D
Page:
LOL! Class post, Microchips. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
gerrid wrote:
> AJ!
> Mr. Gerbil Man, also known as neB has admitted to stealing the Buxom
> Wenchmobile. He framed the Chelumbas so that he could escape. We must
> retaliate. Only then can we give Micro his moomins.
---
I shall try and catch up with this fiendish rascal.
He shall be stone dead after I tear out his ventricles with a fishtank!
> AJ!
> Mr. Gerbil Man, also known as neB has admitted to stealing the Buxom
> Wenchmobile. He framed the Chelumbas so that he could escape. We must
> retaliate. Only then can we give Micro his moomins.
---
I shall try and catch up with this fiendish rascal.
He shall be stone dead after I tear out his ventricles with a fishtank!
Possibly, but it's flavour isn't as good as the ones used in the test.
Ok... now that was weird.
Ok... now that was weird.
what about Gorganzola cheese, it looks cool, and probably is very good
AJ!
Mr. Gerbil Man, also known as neB has admitted to stealing the Buxom Wenchmobile. He framed the Chelumbas so that he could escape. We must retaliate. Only then can we give Micro his moomins.
Mr. Gerbil Man, also known as neB has admitted to stealing the Buxom Wenchmobile. He framed the Chelumbas so that he could escape. We must retaliate. Only then can we give Micro his moomins.
AfroJoe wrote:
> Remember, we will have to recover the Buxom-Wenchmobile from the hands
> of those evil Chelumbas if we are to succeed in giving it to Micro as
> a non-winning-GAD present.
If I understood any of that, I should be given the Nobel prize for deciphering dodgy talk! :D
> Brilliant.
Heh, cheers AJ.
:D
> Remember, we will have to recover the Buxom-Wenchmobile from the hands
> of those evil Chelumbas if we are to succeed in giving it to Micro as
> a non-winning-GAD present.
If I understood any of that, I should be given the Nobel prize for deciphering dodgy talk! :D
> Brilliant.
Heh, cheers AJ.
:D
gerrid wrote:
> A post about Cheese!
> If Micro doesn't win a GAD for this, I will give away my Buxom
> Wenchmobile.
> If AJ sees this, he WILL explode.
---
Remember, we will have to recover the Buxom-Wenchmobile from the hands of those evil Chelumbas if we are to succeed in giving it to Micro as a non-winning-GAD present.
*Looks*
*Explodes*
Brilliant.
> A post about Cheese!
> If Micro doesn't win a GAD for this, I will give away my Buxom
> Wenchmobile.
> If AJ sees this, he WILL explode.
---
Remember, we will have to recover the Buxom-Wenchmobile from the hands of those evil Chelumbas if we are to succeed in giving it to Micro as a non-winning-GAD present.
*Looks*
*Explodes*
Brilliant.
Cheese.............
I'd rather have Ice Cream as my dairy product.
Indeed.
*duh dah duh dah duh dah, no one knows........* tee-hee! Watch that deer drive!
Sorry.
;)
I'd rather have Ice Cream as my dairy product.
Indeed.
*duh dah duh dah duh dah, no one knows........* tee-hee! Watch that deer drive!
Sorry.
;)
Hmmm certain cheese enhances gaming ability it is so simple!!...Oh no wait a minute it's needlessly complicated:S
That. Was. Terrible.
:D
:D
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