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:) - An innocent simely or something a lot more sinister?
For years people have used a colon and a bracket to display a feeling over the internet - a joyous feeling of joyness or happy feeling of happiness. Thousands of innocent internet - aholics have spent hours press those 2 keys in that combination to liven things up on e-mails, chat rooms or even the odd (or an even) e-mail.
But rooted underneath it all is an evil plot to rule the world from none other that BILL GATES! Yes, although people thought they had proved that the creator of the 'satan smile', as we at the office have named it, was some Scots man in the 70's/80's, it was really Mr. Gates all the time.
Bill, maker of Microsoft and the world only games console/homeless shelter hybrid created the smiley to do the most dastardly thing since whacky races. Every time you press those 2 buttons in sucession, a Window's operating system somewhere in the world crashes.
One of our roving reporters made this one up... whoops, I mean found it out due to a lot of hard work and detirmination, and when he found THIS email, it was all worthwhile -
"From - [email protected]
To - [email protected]
Hey Satan, sorry the bug you, but i have just thought of the most evil pan ever! In a new system I am building ('Glass Panels' is it's project name), I will put a glitch hat will mean that everytime somebody puts a : and a ) together, something monstrous will happen, perhaps a tidal wave, or an earthquake. It may seem like this may never take off, but, once you put them together you find that they are cute and cuddly, but with an evil inside - Just like Zippy from rainbow. Yes, putting these together does make a smiley face!
More when I think of it
Bill Gates"
In Further e - mails he disclosed that he intended the smiley to be used as a much more disasterous weapon, and when The Devil himself, who, we can reveal, owns an Apple Mac, dreamed up people losing hours of work and pages of writing, it was done.
It all works via the fan on the back of your PC. Whenever you type a smiley, it gushes out Freezing cold air, which lowers the earths atmosphere very slightly. Each window's P.C has a certain temperature to crash at, some higher (and therefore, more often) than others, and a thermometer lets the P.C know of a drop.
As more Windows version were brought out,so were new smileys, and even a dictionary, which every Microsoft worker is given upon employment. We managed to knick one after hitting someone over the head with an X - Box control pad...
;) = Internet Explorer Error
:( = Word / Excel etc. deleting work (only after 2 hours of unsaved work, mind.)
:'( = Disk Drive Failure
:D = Windows Update
We would post more, but it would mean that some poor people would end up being eaten up by the ground, have their PC blow up and even spill Gravy onto themselves.
When quizzed by polic, Bill Gates Denyied all allegation and stated 'Get away from me or I'll get my Body Guard to Hit you', but it was, of course, opposites day, which meant that his Body Guard was going to give me a hug AS WELL AS him creating the smiley for World Domination.
Just why Bill Wanted people to lose work is anybodies guess, but when we asked a hobo he said 'To punish them... Can I have a quid mate?'
Conclusive Proof
Tribute (c)
For years people have used a colon and a bracket to display a feeling over the internet - a joyous feeling of joyness or happy feeling of happiness. Thousands of innocent internet - aholics have spent hours press those 2 keys in that combination to liven things up on e-mails, chat rooms or even the odd (or an even) e-mail.
But rooted underneath it all is an evil plot to rule the world from none other that BILL GATES! Yes, although people thought they had proved that the creator of the 'satan smile', as we at the office have named it, was some Scots man in the 70's/80's, it was really Mr. Gates all the time.
Bill, maker of Microsoft and the world only games console/homeless shelter hybrid created the smiley to do the most dastardly thing since whacky races. Every time you press those 2 buttons in sucession, a Window's operating system somewhere in the world crashes.
One of our roving reporters made this one up... whoops, I mean found it out due to a lot of hard work and detirmination, and when he found THIS email, it was all worthwhile -
"From - [email protected]
To - [email protected]
Hey Satan, sorry the bug you, but i have just thought of the most evil pan ever! In a new system I am building ('Glass Panels' is it's project name), I will put a glitch hat will mean that everytime somebody puts a : and a ) together, something monstrous will happen, perhaps a tidal wave, or an earthquake. It may seem like this may never take off, but, once you put them together you find that they are cute and cuddly, but with an evil inside - Just like Zippy from rainbow. Yes, putting these together does make a smiley face!
More when I think of it
Bill Gates"
In Further e - mails he disclosed that he intended the smiley to be used as a much more disasterous weapon, and when The Devil himself, who, we can reveal, owns an Apple Mac, dreamed up people losing hours of work and pages of writing, it was done.
It all works via the fan on the back of your PC. Whenever you type a smiley, it gushes out Freezing cold air, which lowers the earths atmosphere very slightly. Each window's P.C has a certain temperature to crash at, some higher (and therefore, more often) than others, and a thermometer lets the P.C know of a drop.
As more Windows version were brought out,so were new smileys, and even a dictionary, which every Microsoft worker is given upon employment. We managed to knick one after hitting someone over the head with an X - Box control pad...
;) = Internet Explorer Error
:( = Word / Excel etc. deleting work (only after 2 hours of unsaved work, mind.)
:'( = Disk Drive Failure
:D = Windows Update
We would post more, but it would mean that some poor people would end up being eaten up by the ground, have their PC blow up and even spill Gravy onto themselves.
When quizzed by polic, Bill Gates Denyied all allegation and stated 'Get away from me or I'll get my Body Guard to Hit you', but it was, of course, opposites day, which meant that his Body Guard was going to give me a hug AS WELL AS him creating the smiley for World Domination.
Just why Bill Wanted people to lose work is anybodies guess, but when we asked a hobo he said 'To punish them... Can I have a quid mate?'
Conclusive Proof
Tribute (c)
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POPPERTY!`
I had an operation and the doctor left a sponge in me... True Story.
He also looks like a sponge. And absorbs money like a sponge absorbs water. There are many similarities.
Bill Gates ate my spongue
I will get word... Some how...
Tribute, you really do need to get Word.
You know it would make your great posts better.
You know it would make your great posts better.
"Terrorist" *points at Tribute*
*watches him get arrested, then walks away whistling*
*watches him get arrested, then walks away whistling*
:) :) :) :) :) :)... I don't work for Microsoft... honest!
;) = Internet Explorer Error
:( = Word / Excel etc. deleting work (only after 2 hours of unsaved work, mind.)
:'( = Disk Drive Failure
:D = Windows Update
Lol Lol Lol ;) (oh crap)
:( = Word / Excel etc. deleting work (only after 2 hours of unsaved work, mind.)
:'( = Disk Drive Failure
:D = Windows Update
Lol Lol Lol ;) (oh crap)
Bill scours the internet all the time looking for new ones, and I've heard rumours that he registered on Gameaday, but got kicked off for using to many smileys. Or not.
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