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There has been a lot of talk about cheese on the forums. This is is understandable: many people love cheese, it is part of the diet of millions, perhaps billions of people around the world. No wonder we like to discuss it. But gamers are perhaps more obsessed by cheese than any other sector of the population.
I decided to find out two things: (1) the reasons for the cheese-obsession amongst videogame players, and (2) whether the industry is catering to the needs of cheese-lovers, and what their cheese related plans are for the future.
My field research turned up two distinct strands of cheese-loving amongst gamers. First, and most obvious, is cheese as a source of protein. Many gamers enjoy a snack between levels, but many are too lazy to make anything for themselves. The best solution to this is to live with your mum: she will make endless nutritious snacks for you so that you don't waste away. The most likely 'mum-food' is the easy, but still healthy, cheese sandwich: if you also get salad or pickle or crisps with it then you have a great mum; if not, she doesn't love you anymore (if she ever did). There is therefore an unconscious connection between gaming, motherly love and cheese. For those who have been kicked out of the family home, the best way to simultaneously play games and not starve is to have someone else cook for you. Most gamers are young and poor, so few can afford a butler, let alone a chef and chambermaid. The most economical option is to call out for pizza, the most important ingredient of which is cheese! Again we can see that there is a connection between cheese and life: many gamers would simply cease to exist without cheese.
The second reason that gamers love cheese is more obscure: cheese is an integral part of any computer game. I did not understand this myself at first, until one of my interviewees pressed a copy of Final Fantasy IIX into my hands. After sitting through hours of dialogue and cut-scenes I came to the following conclusion: yes, this is pure cheese.
So what is the industry doing about our love of cheese? Very little it seemed. None of the major publishers are planning any cheese games, and even the long awaited Deus Cheddar has slipped from the release schedules. The only committed cheese game has changed its title to Super Monkey Ball and will no longer feature an overweight gamer chasing Mini Baby Bels. And none of the next-gen consoles will support cheese peripherals, such as Flash Edam RAM cards.
I was downhearted. Until, that is, I came across some exciting news on the nVidia website: the next generation geforce card will draw on the power of various cheeses to deliver the ultimate gaming experience. It will be called the cheeseboard. Details are sketchy, but I did manage to get some of the technical specs:
Texture mapping will be done through gorgonzola and Danish blue; smoke effects will be handled Kraft Singles (owned by Phillip Morris, maker of delicious cigarettes; fuzzy logic will be supported by an old piece of cheddar found in the back of the fridge; raster shading will be processed by half an ounce of Jamaican smoked; anti-aliasing will be more effective because each cheese will be checked by trading standards officials to make sure it's the real mccoy. Customers should make sure they buy the nVidia chipset: bootleg cards are being produced consisting entirely of Laughing Cow - this is not a proper cheese and will damage your computer.
Truly these are exciting times for cheese-loving gamers!
I decided to find out two things: (1) the reasons for the cheese-obsession amongst videogame players, and (2) whether the industry is catering to the needs of cheese-lovers, and what their cheese related plans are for the future.
My field research turned up two distinct strands of cheese-loving amongst gamers. First, and most obvious, is cheese as a source of protein. Many gamers enjoy a snack between levels, but many are too lazy to make anything for themselves. The best solution to this is to live with your mum: she will make endless nutritious snacks for you so that you don't waste away. The most likely 'mum-food' is the easy, but still healthy, cheese sandwich: if you also get salad or pickle or crisps with it then you have a great mum; if not, she doesn't love you anymore (if she ever did). There is therefore an unconscious connection between gaming, motherly love and cheese. For those who have been kicked out of the family home, the best way to simultaneously play games and not starve is to have someone else cook for you. Most gamers are young and poor, so few can afford a butler, let alone a chef and chambermaid. The most economical option is to call out for pizza, the most important ingredient of which is cheese! Again we can see that there is a connection between cheese and life: many gamers would simply cease to exist without cheese.
The second reason that gamers love cheese is more obscure: cheese is an integral part of any computer game. I did not understand this myself at first, until one of my interviewees pressed a copy of Final Fantasy IIX into my hands. After sitting through hours of dialogue and cut-scenes I came to the following conclusion: yes, this is pure cheese.
So what is the industry doing about our love of cheese? Very little it seemed. None of the major publishers are planning any cheese games, and even the long awaited Deus Cheddar has slipped from the release schedules. The only committed cheese game has changed its title to Super Monkey Ball and will no longer feature an overweight gamer chasing Mini Baby Bels. And none of the next-gen consoles will support cheese peripherals, such as Flash Edam RAM cards.
I was downhearted. Until, that is, I came across some exciting news on the nVidia website: the next generation geforce card will draw on the power of various cheeses to deliver the ultimate gaming experience. It will be called the cheeseboard. Details are sketchy, but I did manage to get some of the technical specs:
Texture mapping will be done through gorgonzola and Danish blue; smoke effects will be handled Kraft Singles (owned by Phillip Morris, maker of delicious cigarettes; fuzzy logic will be supported by an old piece of cheddar found in the back of the fridge; raster shading will be processed by half an ounce of Jamaican smoked; anti-aliasing will be more effective because each cheese will be checked by trading standards officials to make sure it's the real mccoy. Customers should make sure they buy the nVidia chipset: bootleg cards are being produced consisting entirely of Laughing Cow - this is not a proper cheese and will damage your computer.
Truly these are exciting times for cheese-loving gamers!
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Tiltawhirl wrote:
> Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for
> him here*
>that supposed to be a really bad pun?
Yes, and personally, I felt it was mildly amusing.
> Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for
> him here*
>that supposed to be a really bad pun?
Yes, and personally, I felt it was mildly amusing.
Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for him here*
Is that supposed to be a really bad pun?
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for him here*
Is that supposed to be a really bad pun?
Mouldy Cheese wrote:
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for him here*
Well don't keep us all in suspense: grab those opportunities with both hands!
> *Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for him here*
Well don't keep us all in suspense: grab those opportunities with both hands!
*Marvels at how many comic opportunitys there are for him here*
RM18 wrote:
> Ant wrote:
> Although I hate to say it, that was actually very good.
> :D
>Why, don't you like cheese?
Not really...
> Ant wrote:
> Although I hate to say it, that was actually very good.
> :D
>Why, don't you like cheese?
Not really...
Ant wrote:
> Although I hate to say it, that was actually very good. :D
Why, don't you like cheese?
> Although I hate to say it, that was actually very good. :D
Why, don't you like cheese?
Although I hate to say it, that was actually very good. :D
cheese is evil!!!
i was happy just eating my cheese sandwhich before bed last night, but it was soon to change.
you ever heard not to eat cheese before bed? well take these word as a warning.
5 o'clock i woke up this morning in a cold sweat after having a dream about an army of ann widicoms attacking my shed which i was trapped in and the only way to kill them was to cut there heads off but all i had was a large wooden spoon!
it scared the hell out of me!
so be warned!
i was happy just eating my cheese sandwhich before bed last night, but it was soon to change.
you ever heard not to eat cheese before bed? well take these word as a warning.
5 o'clock i woke up this morning in a cold sweat after having a dream about an army of ann widicoms attacking my shed which i was trapped in and the only way to kill them was to cut there heads off but all i had was a large wooden spoon!
it scared the hell out of me!
so be warned!
Mystique wrote:
> I don't know whether to laugh or cry!
It's probably best to laugh to stop yourself from crying. Or so my psychiatrist tells me.
> I don't know whether to laugh or cry!
It's probably best to laugh to stop yourself from crying. Or so my psychiatrist tells me.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry!
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