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"Types of Poo!"

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

'Diamond Dave' Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

Captains Log:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.

Bus Poo:
You sit there waiting for ages for it, then about 5 diferent poos come at once.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That took me ages to write and to upload onto the thousands of sites all over the internet...

what, poo?

Jesus Christ that's funny
*Tears streaming from eyes*

I'm sure I've seen this poo thing before on another site. Or in a magazine or something.

What's scary is the number of people attracted to this thread, including me. Human nature is odd indeed.

Hmmm good allabuy that you uploaded it onto THOUSANDS of pages. Now when the admins see it on other pages, they'll think you made it.

I think you've got some explainin to do son. I'd like you to come down to the station with me.

Possum in a bottle wrote:
> I'm sure I've seen this poo thing before on another site. Or in a
> magazine or something.

I wrote it and submitted it to that magazine before you ask!

(What one was it?)

:c)

What the hell possesed you to start a thread on poo?
*Tears still streaming*

Possum in a bottle wrote:
> Hmmm good allabuy that you uploaded it onto THOUSANDS of pages. Now
> when the admins see it on other pages, they'll think you made it.
>
> I think you've got some explainin to do son. I'd like you to come down
> to the station with me.

Oh just shut up...

Read it again and think:

'I spent hours uploading this onto thousands of sites on the internet'

Ick

Mystique wrote:
> Ick

Is that Lick with the 'i' missed out?