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"Types of Poo!"

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

'Diamond Dave' Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

Captains Log:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.

Bus Poo:
You sit there waiting for ages for it, then about 5 diferent poos come at once.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That took me ages to write and to upload onto the thousands of sites all over the internet...

*wonders why he clicked the topic in the first place*

Well obviously I didn't!

You really think I could write it and post it on thousnds of thousands of sites?

I think the joke at the bottom points that out!

I really should remember the use of the smiley!

You didn't create that you thief!

That was one of the first things I found funny on the internet in about 1998 when my sister called me into the old PC room downstairs.

I think you lie.

Some more! These are BAD!

The Peek-a-Boo Poo:
You get this poo half way out, then it shoots straight back inside.

The Feminist Poo
It doesn't matter how it comes out or what it looks like, it's always a man's fault.

The Peanut Poo
You've been eating lots of peanuts, and you can feel them when you wipe-up.

The Sweetcorn Poo
You've been eating plenty of sweetcorn so your poo looks like a brown version of a corn-on-the-cob.

The Teflon Poo
This non-stick poo comes out so clean, you don't need any toilet paper.

Thanks for that. *Is sick*

you forgot dreamy poo. its a different colour than usual and
hairy poo. its got hairballs if the middle

Spammer.
Wait a minute! This post makes me eligible to be a reggie!!! Hurrah!
All I have to do now is wait until the 30th of November. No more being a n00b. Yay.

What, with poo?
:-D Just joking man

phi11ip wrote:
> Mystique wrote:
> Ick
>
> Is that Lick with the 'i' missed out?
****
Nope, it was ick with a capital I

Shut up shtu up shut up shut up all of you just stop it.