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Yes, I was sad enough to do an experiment on how cleaning the floor affects gaming, and yes, it has been proved, the way you clean the floor greatly affects how you play games. My subjects, who have never played games before in their lives and each cleaned floors in different ways (or not at all) have helped me prove this.
Each were pitted in an FPS multiplayer mode to see how they performed.
The Non-Carpet Cleaner
So, we began the test with a person who never cleans his floor, brought in, in a sanitary container, the amount of bugs following him was horrendous. Anyway, into the experiment.
This subject was an average player, not very quick at grasping a prime opportunity to kill, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Sometimes suffers from insanity attacks, probably from the filth living in his floors. Runs away from anything which looks better than him, including the walls. Sometimes took out people, normally only from head on attacks with weapons such as Miniguns, rocket launchers and shotguns.
Game Skills – 3/10
The Weird Guy Who Sucks Up Dust With His Mouth Before Swallowing It.
Didn’t even speak in any proper language when he came in, we knew he’d be great to take part in this experiment, if we could get him to understand what he was to do.
Well, this would be your favourite opponent in any game. Has absolutely no idea what he is doing, sometimes found cheering while shooting into the sky. Also, may take on opponents with powerful weaponry using his bare hands. Quite Stupid. Made only one kill in the half hour match, and that was suicide. Even when outmatching his opponents in weaponry, he found away to get killed.
Game Skills – 0/10
The Person Who Sweeps The Carpet
A muscled guy, he came in a confident man, he left a wimp. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him after his match….
Also an average player, isn’t very quick at grasping prime opportunities to kill enemies either, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Seems to go for the heaviest weaponry. Does quite well until he dies, he suddenly stopped moving (in the game). After investigating this we found that when he gets angry, using his large muscles gained from powerful sweeping, when he clenches his hand in anger, his controller breaks.
Game Skills – 6/10 beginning, 1/10 after he dies
The Average Vacuum Cleaner User
Looked like the average person, played like a hero.
Much better than average, spots enemies a mile away, and grasps most prime opportunities to kill (probably gained this skill from swooping in on little particles of dust in the air). Hardly ever killed, and knows when he is outmatched. Wipes the floor with everybody he outmatches, and when they are unlucky enough to see them they often try to flee (except the weird guy, who takes him on with empty pistols).
Game Skills – 9/10
The Dyson User
A blood/dust thirsty person coming in, we knew he’d do well, and damn, did he do well? He was amazing
Wow, you can’t get much better than this, takes out targets with ease, takes things nice and easy, he knows he doesn’t need to put in much effort, his skills from using a Dyson have made him nearly invincible. Enemies that come into his view don’t stand a chance, no matter what weapon he has, he tracks them down and kills them, none even got close to hitting him, and the average vacuum user was peeing his pants most of the time. Leaving the arena looking shiny after use, he even wipes away the blood from his dead opponents. A real star, not even the most hardcore veterans want to meet up with this guy.
Game Skills – Off The Scale
Well, the results show that Dyson users are often the best gamers, and people who don’t clean the floor are rubbish, so put down that controller and STRAT CLEANING!
Oh, never thought I’d say that in a hurry.
Each were pitted in an FPS multiplayer mode to see how they performed.
The Non-Carpet Cleaner
So, we began the test with a person who never cleans his floor, brought in, in a sanitary container, the amount of bugs following him was horrendous. Anyway, into the experiment.
This subject was an average player, not very quick at grasping a prime opportunity to kill, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Sometimes suffers from insanity attacks, probably from the filth living in his floors. Runs away from anything which looks better than him, including the walls. Sometimes took out people, normally only from head on attacks with weapons such as Miniguns, rocket launchers and shotguns.
Game Skills – 3/10
The Weird Guy Who Sucks Up Dust With His Mouth Before Swallowing It.
Didn’t even speak in any proper language when he came in, we knew he’d be great to take part in this experiment, if we could get him to understand what he was to do.
Well, this would be your favourite opponent in any game. Has absolutely no idea what he is doing, sometimes found cheering while shooting into the sky. Also, may take on opponents with powerful weaponry using his bare hands. Quite Stupid. Made only one kill in the half hour match, and that was suicide. Even when outmatching his opponents in weaponry, he found away to get killed.
Game Skills – 0/10
The Person Who Sweeps The Carpet
A muscled guy, he came in a confident man, he left a wimp. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him after his match….
Also an average player, isn’t very quick at grasping prime opportunities to kill enemies either, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Seems to go for the heaviest weaponry. Does quite well until he dies, he suddenly stopped moving (in the game). After investigating this we found that when he gets angry, using his large muscles gained from powerful sweeping, when he clenches his hand in anger, his controller breaks.
Game Skills – 6/10 beginning, 1/10 after he dies
The Average Vacuum Cleaner User
Looked like the average person, played like a hero.
Much better than average, spots enemies a mile away, and grasps most prime opportunities to kill (probably gained this skill from swooping in on little particles of dust in the air). Hardly ever killed, and knows when he is outmatched. Wipes the floor with everybody he outmatches, and when they are unlucky enough to see them they often try to flee (except the weird guy, who takes him on with empty pistols).
Game Skills – 9/10
The Dyson User
A blood/dust thirsty person coming in, we knew he’d do well, and damn, did he do well? He was amazing
Wow, you can’t get much better than this, takes out targets with ease, takes things nice and easy, he knows he doesn’t need to put in much effort, his skills from using a Dyson have made him nearly invincible. Enemies that come into his view don’t stand a chance, no matter what weapon he has, he tracks them down and kills them, none even got close to hitting him, and the average vacuum user was peeing his pants most of the time. Leaving the arena looking shiny after use, he even wipes away the blood from his dead opponents. A real star, not even the most hardcore veterans want to meet up with this guy.
Game Skills – Off The Scale
Well, the results show that Dyson users are often the best gamers, and people who don’t clean the floor are rubbish, so put down that controller and STRAT CLEANING!
Oh, never thought I’d say that in a hurry.
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I tried one remember? It was rubbish remember?
Plus, it WAS a friends idea when I was talking to him about SR, I mentioned MC's Cheesy Gaming topic and he came up with how cleaning the floor affects gaming
Plus, it WAS a friends idea when I was talking to him about SR, I mentioned MC's Cheesy Gaming topic and he came up with how cleaning the floor affects gaming
You should think of a topic that doesnt just appeal to housewifes. I have never cleaned a house in my life, I dont understand the concept!
Try a spoof, and cast me as the main character.
Try a spoof, and cast me as the main character.
*cries*
Appoligies, but this wasn't really very good.
Yes, I was sad enough to do an experiment on how cleaning the floor affects gaming, and yes, it has been proved, the way you clean the floor greatly affects how you play games. My subjects, who have never played games before in their lives and each cleaned floors in different ways (or not at all) have helped me prove this.
Each were pitted in an FPS multiplayer mode to see how they performed.
The Non-Carpet Cleaner
So, we began the test with a person who never cleans his floor, brought in, in a sanitary container, the amount of bugs following him was horrendous. Anyway, into the experiment.
This subject was an average player, not very quick at grasping a prime opportunity to kill, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Sometimes suffers from insanity attacks, probably from the filth living in his floors. Runs away from anything which looks better than him, including the walls. Sometimes took out people, normally only from head on attacks with weapons such as Miniguns, rocket launchers and shotguns.
Game Skills – 3/10
The Weird Guy Who Sucks Up Dust With His Mouth Before Swallowing It.
Didn’t even speak in any proper language when he came in, we knew he’d be great to take part in this experiment, if we could get him to understand what he was to do.
Well, this would be your favourite opponent in any game. Has absolutely no idea what he is doing, sometimes found cheering while shooting into the sky. Also, may take on opponents with powerful weaponry using his bare hands. Quite Stupid. Made only one kill in the half hour match, and that was suicide. Even when outmatching his opponents in weaponry, he found away to get killed.
Game Skills – 0/10
The Person Who Sweeps The Carpet
A muscled guy, he came in a confident man, he left a wimp. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him after his match….
Also an average player, isn’t very quick at grasping prime opportunities to kill enemies either, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Seems to go for the heaviest weaponry. Does quite well until he dies, he suddenly stopped moving (in the game). After investigating this we found that when he gets angry, using his large muscles gained from powerful sweeping, when he clenches his hand in anger, his controller breaks.
Game Skills – 6/10 beginning, 1/10 after he dies
The Average Vacuum Cleaner User
Looked like the average person, played like a hero.
Much better than average, spots enemies a mile away, and grasps most prime opportunities to kill (probably gained this skill from swooping in on little particles of dust in the air). Hardly ever killed, and knows when he is outmatched. Wipes the floor with everybody he outmatches, and when they are unlucky enough to see them they often try to flee (except the weird guy, who takes him on with empty pistols).
Game Skills – 9/10
The Dyson User
A blood/dust thirsty person coming in, we knew he’d do well, and damn, did he do well? He was amazing
Wow, you can’t get much better than this, takes out targets with ease, takes things nice and easy, he knows he doesn’t need to put in much effort, his skills from using a Dyson have made him nearly invincible. Enemies that come into his view don’t stand a chance, no matter what weapon he has, he tracks them down and kills them, none even got close to hitting him, and the average vacuum user was peeing his pants most of the time. Leaving the arena looking shiny after use, he even wipes away the blood from his dead opponents. A real star, not even the most hardcore veterans want to meet up with this guy.
Game Skills – Off The Scale
Well, the results show that Dyson users are often the best gamers, and people who don’t clean the floor are rubbish, so put down that controller and STRAT CLEANING!
Oh, never thought I’d say that in a hurry.
Each were pitted in an FPS multiplayer mode to see how they performed.
The Non-Carpet Cleaner
So, we began the test with a person who never cleans his floor, brought in, in a sanitary container, the amount of bugs following him was horrendous. Anyway, into the experiment.
This subject was an average player, not very quick at grasping a prime opportunity to kill, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Sometimes suffers from insanity attacks, probably from the filth living in his floors. Runs away from anything which looks better than him, including the walls. Sometimes took out people, normally only from head on attacks with weapons such as Miniguns, rocket launchers and shotguns.
Game Skills – 3/10
The Weird Guy Who Sucks Up Dust With His Mouth Before Swallowing It.
Didn’t even speak in any proper language when he came in, we knew he’d be great to take part in this experiment, if we could get him to understand what he was to do.
Well, this would be your favourite opponent in any game. Has absolutely no idea what he is doing, sometimes found cheering while shooting into the sky. Also, may take on opponents with powerful weaponry using his bare hands. Quite Stupid. Made only one kill in the half hour match, and that was suicide. Even when outmatching his opponents in weaponry, he found away to get killed.
Game Skills – 0/10
The Person Who Sweeps The Carpet
A muscled guy, he came in a confident man, he left a wimp. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with him after his match….
Also an average player, isn’t very quick at grasping prime opportunities to kill enemies either, doesn’t have any exceedingly good, or exceedingly bad skills. Seems to go for the heaviest weaponry. Does quite well until he dies, he suddenly stopped moving (in the game). After investigating this we found that when he gets angry, using his large muscles gained from powerful sweeping, when he clenches his hand in anger, his controller breaks.
Game Skills – 6/10 beginning, 1/10 after he dies
The Average Vacuum Cleaner User
Looked like the average person, played like a hero.
Much better than average, spots enemies a mile away, and grasps most prime opportunities to kill (probably gained this skill from swooping in on little particles of dust in the air). Hardly ever killed, and knows when he is outmatched. Wipes the floor with everybody he outmatches, and when they are unlucky enough to see them they often try to flee (except the weird guy, who takes him on with empty pistols).
Game Skills – 9/10
The Dyson User
A blood/dust thirsty person coming in, we knew he’d do well, and damn, did he do well? He was amazing
Wow, you can’t get much better than this, takes out targets with ease, takes things nice and easy, he knows he doesn’t need to put in much effort, his skills from using a Dyson have made him nearly invincible. Enemies that come into his view don’t stand a chance, no matter what weapon he has, he tracks them down and kills them, none even got close to hitting him, and the average vacuum user was peeing his pants most of the time. Leaving the arena looking shiny after use, he even wipes away the blood from his dead opponents. A real star, not even the most hardcore veterans want to meet up with this guy.
Game Skills – Off The Scale
Well, the results show that Dyson users are often the best gamers, and people who don’t clean the floor are rubbish, so put down that controller and STRAT CLEANING!
Oh, never thought I’d say that in a hurry.
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