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"A Joke."

The Prison And The Prisoner

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin
and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to
me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private
place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.
So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to
have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison
him."

After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his
cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience
of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the
prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a
recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally
exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a
life sentence!"

;-)





i have a joke


theres this old lady sitting in her rocking chair about to die.
then her fairy god mother appears and says "old lady , i will grant you three wishes before you die , what is your first wish ?"

"i want to be a beautiful princess"

Sim sala BIM (and all the rest of it)

and the old lady was a princess

"for my second wish i want to be stinking rich!"

Abra kadabra

and her chair turns to solid gold

"for my third wish i want .....

at this very moment here black cat runs across the porch in front of her

"i want my black cat to be a beautifull prince !"

swooooossshhh


and then her cat turns into a prince

the prince goes up to the lady and says

"i bet your fed up that you had me newtered ;-)"

I have a joke here but i cannot be banned this clean, sort of...............
.........................
One day 3 nuns 2 normal nuns and the mother superior and they soon die and go too heaven, but before they enter they have too pass a test, so go over too a woman behind the counter and the woman says "Your question is...What is the opposite of the Old Testament?"
So the sister nun says"The New Testament"
"Well done you have passed"the woman says.
Next the other sister nun comes along and the woman says"Where do you go when you die?"
So the sister nun says"Well Heaven of course!"
"CORRECT you have passed, please go in" says the woman.
Finally comes the Mother Superior.
The normal woman asks "What did Eve say too Adam when they first met?"
*Mother Superior scratches her head*
"Gosh, thats a hard one!"the mother superior says.
"CORRECT, you are in!"the woman behind the counter says.
If you do not get that joke you have got a problem, i thought it was hysterical!

heh heh
nice jokes.
liked all of them a lot.

good jokes :D
although i prefer 5 word jokes.

ok heres a joke.

There is a parish of nuns and the head nun comes in and says " ok u lot i want this place" (meaning the hall)"painted"

All the nuns sighed."but" the head nun continued " i dont want any paint on your clothes or else.......".

So to avoid the problem the nuns paint the hall in the nude, but suddenely the door rings. so one of the nuns goes to the door

"eh....who is it"she said still naked.

"its the village blind man" the man replied.

so the nuns let out a sigh of releif thinking hes blind so he wont see them naked. so they let him in when suddenely the man said, "nice t*ts where do want the blinds"

ok heres a joke.

There is a parish of nuns and the head nun comes in and says " ok u lot i want this place" (meaning the hall)"painted"

All the nuns sighed."but" the head nun continued " i dont want any paint on your clothes or else.......".

So to avoid the problem the nuns paint the hall in the nude, but suddenely the door rings. so one of the nuns goes to the door

"eh....who is it"she said still naked.

"its the village blind man" the man replied.

so the nuns let out a sigh of releif thinking hes blind so he wont see them naked. so they let him in when suddenely the man said, "nice t*ts where do want the blinds"

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at
work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband
comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with
the little
boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"

Boy: "$250."
Man: "Fine."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
mom's
lover are
in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How
much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your
glove.
Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you
to
church and
make you confess."
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in
the
confession
booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that again"
This one is one of my favourites :D
Coley.

teehee

Knock knock

Who's there?

Irish burglar

ha the last one was funny