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I tried this kinda idea with the Sniper being a Private Detective before... but it never took off. I bet it would though, once it gets going. Ooh, and Mouldy Cheese, I'm not "dismissing" your story, it's just, there's only a certain amount of times you can kill someone, and I really need to write again.
Normal story writers only please... don't want to mess around with piece of pap posting again, ta.
-----------------------
Ant offered Pb a cigarette. He refused.
"What's the time?" Ant said, rubbing his eyes...
"4AM, ish. You've been asleep for 6 hours, you lazy git."
Ant tried to focus on the green display of the dashboard. "Any sightings yet?"
"No, obviously. I would have woke you."
"Woah, what's up with you?"
"Missing my sleep, perhaps?" Pb answered. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're both up now, and we've missed nothing."
"I wouldn't have fell asleep so easily if you had just turned down the heater a bit... but oh, no... you've got to have it blasting away, damn pansy."
Pb went to reply, but just breathed out. "I wonder sometimes why I work with you..."
"Yeah, me too."
The two of them sat in the Ford Escort, parked behind some large crates at SR docks. They had been on a stakeout for the past two days, after one of Ant's "hunches".
It had all started a month ago, when they got a call at their newly set up office...
----------------
"Pb, and Ant?"
"Yeah." Pb replied.
Ant looked at the door, and then back at Pb. "Ant and Pb, surely?"
"No..." Pb opened the door and walked through. "Pb and Ant rolls off the tongue. Ant and Pb is a bit... jerky to say. And with "Private Detectives" at the end, it sounds better."
"Cool, red phone." Ant said.
Pb shook his head, and sat down at his desk... finally, their dream had taken off, and they were Private Detectives!...
It had all started four months ago, at a industrial plant...
-----------------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb and Ant landed face down in the rubbish bins outside. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't just been thrown out of a needle recycling plant.
"You would think they would actually recycle the needles, instead of just throwing them out..."
"Never mind that." Pb said, picking the needles from his skin... "We've got a needle now! Let's get going!"
The search for a needle had started ten minutes ago, at the pub...
--------------
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
Pb swinging his arm around had started 20 seconds ago, talking to a woman sitting next to him...
------------
"It's huge. HUGE... I mean, it's about THIS bi..."
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
"Yeah... err... sorry, I was just talking to this woman here..."
Pb looked back. The woman had gone.
"Never mind."
But Ant wasn't listening... he was watching, intrigued, as the barmat began to soak up his pint completely from the bar, leaving not a trace of alcohol on the wood.
"Damnit! My pint! The barmat drank it!"
"It did?" Pb asked, leaning over... "Try squeezing it, to get all the beer out."
So Ant did... but to no avail. The barmat held it like OJ Simpson holds a story...
"We need another way of getting the beer out..." Ant said.
Pb thought.
----------
"So, can we like, borrow a needle? I mean, we'll recycle it after."
"You're drunk! Both of you!" The man in the yellow helmet said. "Barney! Throw these two guys out the back way!"
----------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb pulled the needles from his face. "I said lets go! We've got a needle!"
"Hang on Pb... this doesn't make sense. I mean, they're supposed to be a recycling plant, but they're throwing out needles? Why?"
"Perhaps they're broken, and can't be used again." Pb said.
"Oh." Ant replied.
They both walked back to the pub. "Hell, we'd make great detectives." Ant said.
-------------
Pb admired the dq on the door, so much, that he didn't even notice the phone ringing.
Ant stood, and answered it. "Hi! This is Ant and Pb's Detective Agency, investigating all your needs, how can we be of service?"
"What time do you close?"
"5:30PM, and we take an hour from 1 till 2 for lunch."
"Ok. I'll pop down this afternoon... I've got a case for you."
"Ok..." Ant removed the packaging from his red diary, and took out a pen. "...I think we can just about fit you in, what time, and name, sorry?"
"Err... well, about 3 o'clock, and put down Sheepy as my name."
"Ok, thank you Sheepy, look forward to doing business with you."
Ant noticed that Sheepy had already hung up.
"You're not going to say stuff like that to every customer we get?"
"Probably not, and anyway, that's our ONLY customer." Ant said. "So we'll be nice, and we might get our name passed around. Yeah?"
"Dah, alright."
Normal story writers only please... don't want to mess around with piece of pap posting again, ta.
-----------------------
Ant offered Pb a cigarette. He refused.
"What's the time?" Ant said, rubbing his eyes...
"4AM, ish. You've been asleep for 6 hours, you lazy git."
Ant tried to focus on the green display of the dashboard. "Any sightings yet?"
"No, obviously. I would have woke you."
"Woah, what's up with you?"
"Missing my sleep, perhaps?" Pb answered. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're both up now, and we've missed nothing."
"I wouldn't have fell asleep so easily if you had just turned down the heater a bit... but oh, no... you've got to have it blasting away, damn pansy."
Pb went to reply, but just breathed out. "I wonder sometimes why I work with you..."
"Yeah, me too."
The two of them sat in the Ford Escort, parked behind some large crates at SR docks. They had been on a stakeout for the past two days, after one of Ant's "hunches".
It had all started a month ago, when they got a call at their newly set up office...
----------------
"Pb, and Ant?"
"Yeah." Pb replied.
Ant looked at the door, and then back at Pb. "Ant and Pb, surely?"
"No..." Pb opened the door and walked through. "Pb and Ant rolls off the tongue. Ant and Pb is a bit... jerky to say. And with "Private Detectives" at the end, it sounds better."
"Cool, red phone." Ant said.
Pb shook his head, and sat down at his desk... finally, their dream had taken off, and they were Private Detectives!...
It had all started four months ago, at a industrial plant...
-----------------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb and Ant landed face down in the rubbish bins outside. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't just been thrown out of a needle recycling plant.
"You would think they would actually recycle the needles, instead of just throwing them out..."
"Never mind that." Pb said, picking the needles from his skin... "We've got a needle now! Let's get going!"
The search for a needle had started ten minutes ago, at the pub...
--------------
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
Pb swinging his arm around had started 20 seconds ago, talking to a woman sitting next to him...
------------
"It's huge. HUGE... I mean, it's about THIS bi..."
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
"Yeah... err... sorry, I was just talking to this woman here..."
Pb looked back. The woman had gone.
"Never mind."
But Ant wasn't listening... he was watching, intrigued, as the barmat began to soak up his pint completely from the bar, leaving not a trace of alcohol on the wood.
"Damnit! My pint! The barmat drank it!"
"It did?" Pb asked, leaning over... "Try squeezing it, to get all the beer out."
So Ant did... but to no avail. The barmat held it like OJ Simpson holds a story...
"We need another way of getting the beer out..." Ant said.
Pb thought.
----------
"So, can we like, borrow a needle? I mean, we'll recycle it after."
"You're drunk! Both of you!" The man in the yellow helmet said. "Barney! Throw these two guys out the back way!"
----------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb pulled the needles from his face. "I said lets go! We've got a needle!"
"Hang on Pb... this doesn't make sense. I mean, they're supposed to be a recycling plant, but they're throwing out needles? Why?"
"Perhaps they're broken, and can't be used again." Pb said.
"Oh." Ant replied.
They both walked back to the pub. "Hell, we'd make great detectives." Ant said.
-------------
Pb admired the dq on the door, so much, that he didn't even notice the phone ringing.
Ant stood, and answered it. "Hi! This is Ant and Pb's Detective Agency, investigating all your needs, how can we be of service?"
"What time do you close?"
"5:30PM, and we take an hour from 1 till 2 for lunch."
"Ok. I'll pop down this afternoon... I've got a case for you."
"Ok..." Ant removed the packaging from his red diary, and took out a pen. "...I think we can just about fit you in, what time, and name, sorry?"
"Err... well, about 3 o'clock, and put down Sheepy as my name."
"Ok, thank you Sheepy, look forward to doing business with you."
Ant noticed that Sheepy had already hung up.
"You're not going to say stuff like that to every customer we get?"
"Probably not, and anyway, that's our ONLY customer." Ant said. "So we'll be nice, and we might get our name passed around. Yeah?"
"Dah, alright."
Page:
So pb and Ant are sat in the Ford Escort, parked behind some large crates at SR docks....(don't panic)
"How did we get here?" Asked pb
"We were after a disguise, but we took a wrong turn, we shouldn't be at the docks at all, should we?" Replied Ant
"Actually, there's a costume shop over there, go get something inconspicuous." Said pb, ushering Ant out of the door.
---------------
"Since when has a pantomine horse been inconpicuous?" Asked pb
"I didn't understand the word, sorry. Anyway, this will have to do, the shop is closed now. You be the front, I'll be the back."
pb shook his head, but decided to go along with it, who would suspect a pantomine horse of being undercover private detectives?
---------------
"Help us!" Called our pb.
Ant just continued giggling, despite feeling a jagged rock digging hard into his side.
"Shut-up Ant, just Shut-up!" said pb, trying to strike at Ant, but unable to move to do so given the constraints of the horse suit which they had been wearing when the had been attacked.
"I guess it's typical of teenagers though, knocking people down that dress as pantomine horses" Giggled Ant.
"Where the Hell did you grow up?" Queried pb, growing increasingly more frustrated. Ant had spent the best part of SHEEPY's money on the 'disguise' and all they'd gotten for it was tipped over by drunken youths.
They had spotted Goatboy in the park, a frequent GAD winner, and he appeared to be digging a hole, maybe it was a lead, but they couldn't check it out too well, given the very small eye holes in the horse suit.
pb kept it in his mind to check it out once he was freed from his horse-Hell.
"How did we get here?" Asked pb
"We were after a disguise, but we took a wrong turn, we shouldn't be at the docks at all, should we?" Replied Ant
"Actually, there's a costume shop over there, go get something inconspicuous." Said pb, ushering Ant out of the door.
---------------
"Since when has a pantomine horse been inconpicuous?" Asked pb
"I didn't understand the word, sorry. Anyway, this will have to do, the shop is closed now. You be the front, I'll be the back."
pb shook his head, but decided to go along with it, who would suspect a pantomine horse of being undercover private detectives?
---------------
"Help us!" Called our pb.
Ant just continued giggling, despite feeling a jagged rock digging hard into his side.
"Shut-up Ant, just Shut-up!" said pb, trying to strike at Ant, but unable to move to do so given the constraints of the horse suit which they had been wearing when the had been attacked.
"I guess it's typical of teenagers though, knocking people down that dress as pantomine horses" Giggled Ant.
"Where the Hell did you grow up?" Queried pb, growing increasingly more frustrated. Ant had spent the best part of SHEEPY's money on the 'disguise' and all they'd gotten for it was tipped over by drunken youths.
They had spotted Goatboy in the park, a frequent GAD winner, and he appeared to be digging a hole, maybe it was a lead, but they couldn't check it out too well, given the very small eye holes in the horse suit.
pb kept it in his mind to check it out once he was freed from his horse-Hell.
"...messed up! Badly!"
--------
"WAKE UP!"
Ant woke with a startle... it was almost as if he was having a dream about things that hadn't happened yet... almost as if he'd skipped a huge damn chunk of the damn damn story and damn wanted to damn write from damn there...
"Sorry, was I asleep?"
"Sheepy's here."
Ant looked around the ROOM. ANT was in THE DETECTIVE AGENCY where he and PB had SET UP THEIR OFFICE and had JUST STARTED WORK THERE.
Good. (That bit about them being in a Ford Escort was part of the story, but just hadn't happened yet. It's like... err... did you ever play Monkey Island 2? The whole game was telling the story up to a bit that was at the start... err... basically, just keep writing from where this one leaves off, k? K.)
"Sheepy was just explaining why he needed our help." Pb said.
"Aye." Sheepy replied. "You see, I'm having a bit of a problem with... err... gameaday."
"Gameaday you say? Winning such things as games, DVDs and other entertainment products?"
"Aye, that's right. You see, I'm trying and writing as hard as I canne, but every timee its de same damnn gits that arr winning."
"Sorry? What?" Ant said.
"I seid, itsa same gits thata winning! Gits lika Meeka Dragoon, Fentisymister, meisterhappiey, Gootboay... I neva get a chance wiv these gits aroond!"
Pb cleared his throat. "So... err, what do you want us to do, exactly?"
"I reckoon theyr cheeting. I wanna you to find oot if theyr cheating oor not, aye?"
"Err... aye." Ant said.
"Whata canne get ya in return?"
Pb stopped Ant midway through asking for a cup of tea. "We'd like £20 a day, £200 up front, would be great."
"Acch, yer git yurself a deel. I pai now, aye?"
"Yeah, two hundred now, ta."
Sheepy flicked through his cash, and put £37.50 on the desk.
"That's ye all I have, aye."
Pb looked at the money. "Ok. That's ok. We can live with that."
"Good, achh, I needa be going now, yer get yerselves going now!"
"Right, yes, rightio there sir." Pb said, pushing the cash into his pocket.
Sheepy slammed the door, and an E fell off it.
"Damn."
---------------
It wasn't long before me and Ant hit the road, on the case of the horded gameaday's. We were thrown out the first story window, and landed with a crash.
"That tarmac ain't good for your health." Ant said.
"Never mind that, there's been a car crash." Pb replied, trying to stop the blood from oozing from his chin.
"You crazy kids falling out from the sky! You gotta watch where you going!" A man shouted, sitting in the smashed in Ford Escort... the other car, a taxi, was smashed in worse, but the driver simply drove off, as if nothing had happened.
Pb shouted back. "Sorry!"... and then turned to see the angry man that had thrown them out of the building appear in the doorway of which they really should have left.
"YOU! COME BACK HERE!" He yelled, and stormed towards them.
Ant and Pb looked around... ran towards the Ford Escort, pulled the man out, and drove away.
They sped off into the distance with only the cries of "You crazy kids!" fading away behind them...
"Who was that man, anyway?" Pb asked.
"One Ford Escortless driver."
"No, the one that threw us out of the window."
"Oh... him. Don't ask about him. Don't mention him again." Ant said.
"Why, what did you do to him?"
"I said not to ask. Shush."
"Come on, I'm interested."
"No, shut up."
"Please?"
"No. Where are we going?"
"Away from him, for the moment. I hadn't decided yet... perhaps we could visit one of those people Sheepy mentioned, snoop around a bit."
"We'd need a disguise then..." Ant said. "Just walking in as private detectives ain't going to help us much..."
"Yup... but what?"
--------
"WAKE UP!"
Ant woke with a startle... it was almost as if he was having a dream about things that hadn't happened yet... almost as if he'd skipped a huge damn chunk of the damn damn story and damn wanted to damn write from damn there...
"Sorry, was I asleep?"
"Sheepy's here."
Ant looked around the ROOM. ANT was in THE DETECTIVE AGENCY where he and PB had SET UP THEIR OFFICE and had JUST STARTED WORK THERE.
Good. (That bit about them being in a Ford Escort was part of the story, but just hadn't happened yet. It's like... err... did you ever play Monkey Island 2? The whole game was telling the story up to a bit that was at the start... err... basically, just keep writing from where this one leaves off, k? K.)
"Sheepy was just explaining why he needed our help." Pb said.
"Aye." Sheepy replied. "You see, I'm having a bit of a problem with... err... gameaday."
"Gameaday you say? Winning such things as games, DVDs and other entertainment products?"
"Aye, that's right. You see, I'm trying and writing as hard as I canne, but every timee its de same damnn gits that arr winning."
"Sorry? What?" Ant said.
"I seid, itsa same gits thata winning! Gits lika Meeka Dragoon, Fentisymister, meisterhappiey, Gootboay... I neva get a chance wiv these gits aroond!"
Pb cleared his throat. "So... err, what do you want us to do, exactly?"
"I reckoon theyr cheeting. I wanna you to find oot if theyr cheating oor not, aye?"
"Err... aye." Ant said.
"Whata canne get ya in return?"
Pb stopped Ant midway through asking for a cup of tea. "We'd like £20 a day, £200 up front, would be great."
"Acch, yer git yurself a deel. I pai now, aye?"
"Yeah, two hundred now, ta."
Sheepy flicked through his cash, and put £37.50 on the desk.
"That's ye all I have, aye."
Pb looked at the money. "Ok. That's ok. We can live with that."
"Good, achh, I needa be going now, yer get yerselves going now!"
"Right, yes, rightio there sir." Pb said, pushing the cash into his pocket.
Sheepy slammed the door, and an E fell off it.
"Damn."
---------------
It wasn't long before me and Ant hit the road, on the case of the horded gameaday's. We were thrown out the first story window, and landed with a crash.
"That tarmac ain't good for your health." Ant said.
"Never mind that, there's been a car crash." Pb replied, trying to stop the blood from oozing from his chin.
"You crazy kids falling out from the sky! You gotta watch where you going!" A man shouted, sitting in the smashed in Ford Escort... the other car, a taxi, was smashed in worse, but the driver simply drove off, as if nothing had happened.
Pb shouted back. "Sorry!"... and then turned to see the angry man that had thrown them out of the building appear in the doorway of which they really should have left.
"YOU! COME BACK HERE!" He yelled, and stormed towards them.
Ant and Pb looked around... ran towards the Ford Escort, pulled the man out, and drove away.
They sped off into the distance with only the cries of "You crazy kids!" fading away behind them...
"Who was that man, anyway?" Pb asked.
"One Ford Escortless driver."
"No, the one that threw us out of the window."
"Oh... him. Don't ask about him. Don't mention him again." Ant said.
"Why, what did you do to him?"
"I said not to ask. Shush."
"Come on, I'm interested."
"No, shut up."
"Please?"
"No. Where are we going?"
"Away from him, for the moment. I hadn't decided yet... perhaps we could visit one of those people Sheepy mentioned, snoop around a bit."
"We'd need a disguise then..." Ant said. "Just walking in as private detectives ain't going to help us much..."
"Yup... but what?"
"So," Ant said, finally beginning to take some interest in the case, "what exactly are we on the hunt for?"
pb looked puzzled, "how am I supposed to know? And why don't you know, you're the one with this hunch, surely it was based on what that guy Cowie said."
"Wasn't it Sheepy?"
"Yes, whatever disgusting farm animal it was."
"It might've been Goaty actually..."
"Shut up!" pb suddenly shouted, "look, we're supposed to be detectives. This isn't exactly the perfect start. Tell me, why are we down here at SR??"
Ant thought for a moment, "well...from what I can remember, it's something to do with games, DVDs and other entertainment products."
"Check your notes," pb gestured to a small notebook on top of the glove compartment.
Ant picked it up and took a look through his many notes, and then said, "well, from what I can tell, it's something to do with games, DVDs and other entertainment products."
pb said, and then jumped for apparently no reason, the top of his head hitting the car roof. He rubbed it, cursed, and then whispered loudly, "look, someone's coming it!"
Ant looked out of his window and gasped, "It...it...it's...
pb looked puzzled, "how am I supposed to know? And why don't you know, you're the one with this hunch, surely it was based on what that guy Cowie said."
"Wasn't it Sheepy?"
"Yes, whatever disgusting farm animal it was."
"It might've been Goaty actually..."
"Shut up!" pb suddenly shouted, "look, we're supposed to be detectives. This isn't exactly the perfect start. Tell me, why are we down here at SR??"
Ant thought for a moment, "well...from what I can remember, it's something to do with games, DVDs and other entertainment products."
"Check your notes," pb gestured to a small notebook on top of the glove compartment.
Ant picked it up and took a look through his many notes, and then said, "well, from what I can tell, it's something to do with games, DVDs and other entertainment products."
pb said, and then jumped for apparently no reason, the top of his head hitting the car roof. He rubbed it, cursed, and then whispered loudly, "look, someone's coming it!"
Ant looked out of his window and gasped, "It...it...it's...
Lol, superb. Please carry it on, Grixmeister.
That was quite good...
éncore!
éncore!
I tried this kinda idea with the Sniper being a Private Detective before... but it never took off. I bet it would though, once it gets going. Ooh, and Mouldy Cheese, I'm not "dismissing" your story, it's just, there's only a certain amount of times you can kill someone, and I really need to write again.
Normal story writers only please... don't want to mess around with piece of pap posting again, ta.
-----------------------
Ant offered Pb a cigarette. He refused.
"What's the time?" Ant said, rubbing his eyes...
"4AM, ish. You've been asleep for 6 hours, you lazy git."
Ant tried to focus on the green display of the dashboard. "Any sightings yet?"
"No, obviously. I would have woke you."
"Woah, what's up with you?"
"Missing my sleep, perhaps?" Pb answered. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're both up now, and we've missed nothing."
"I wouldn't have fell asleep so easily if you had just turned down the heater a bit... but oh, no... you've got to have it blasting away, damn pansy."
Pb went to reply, but just breathed out. "I wonder sometimes why I work with you..."
"Yeah, me too."
The two of them sat in the Ford Escort, parked behind some large crates at SR docks. They had been on a stakeout for the past two days, after one of Ant's "hunches".
It had all started a month ago, when they got a call at their newly set up office...
----------------
"Pb, and Ant?"
"Yeah." Pb replied.
Ant looked at the door, and then back at Pb. "Ant and Pb, surely?"
"No..." Pb opened the door and walked through. "Pb and Ant rolls off the tongue. Ant and Pb is a bit... jerky to say. And with "Private Detectives" at the end, it sounds better."
"Cool, red phone." Ant said.
Pb shook his head, and sat down at his desk... finally, their dream had taken off, and they were Private Detectives!...
It had all started four months ago, at a industrial plant...
-----------------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb and Ant landed face down in the rubbish bins outside. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't just been thrown out of a needle recycling plant.
"You would think they would actually recycle the needles, instead of just throwing them out..."
"Never mind that." Pb said, picking the needles from his skin... "We've got a needle now! Let's get going!"
The search for a needle had started ten minutes ago, at the pub...
--------------
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
Pb swinging his arm around had started 20 seconds ago, talking to a woman sitting next to him...
------------
"It's huge. HUGE... I mean, it's about THIS bi..."
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
"Yeah... err... sorry, I was just talking to this woman here..."
Pb looked back. The woman had gone.
"Never mind."
But Ant wasn't listening... he was watching, intrigued, as the barmat began to soak up his pint completely from the bar, leaving not a trace of alcohol on the wood.
"Damnit! My pint! The barmat drank it!"
"It did?" Pb asked, leaning over... "Try squeezing it, to get all the beer out."
So Ant did... but to no avail. The barmat held it like OJ Simpson holds a story...
"We need another way of getting the beer out..." Ant said.
Pb thought.
----------
"So, can we like, borrow a needle? I mean, we'll recycle it after."
"You're drunk! Both of you!" The man in the yellow helmet said. "Barney! Throw these two guys out the back way!"
----------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb pulled the needles from his face. "I said lets go! We've got a needle!"
"Hang on Pb... this doesn't make sense. I mean, they're supposed to be a recycling plant, but they're throwing out needles? Why?"
"Perhaps they're broken, and can't be used again." Pb said.
"Oh." Ant replied.
They both walked back to the pub. "Hell, we'd make great detectives." Ant said.
-------------
Pb admired the dq on the door, so much, that he didn't even notice the phone ringing.
Ant stood, and answered it. "Hi! This is Ant and Pb's Detective Agency, investigating all your needs, how can we be of service?"
"What time do you close?"
"5:30PM, and we take an hour from 1 till 2 for lunch."
"Ok. I'll pop down this afternoon... I've got a case for you."
"Ok..." Ant removed the packaging from his red diary, and took out a pen. "...I think we can just about fit you in, what time, and name, sorry?"
"Err... well, about 3 o'clock, and put down Sheepy as my name."
"Ok, thank you Sheepy, look forward to doing business with you."
Ant noticed that Sheepy had already hung up.
"You're not going to say stuff like that to every customer we get?"
"Probably not, and anyway, that's our ONLY customer." Ant said. "So we'll be nice, and we might get our name passed around. Yeah?"
"Dah, alright."
Normal story writers only please... don't want to mess around with piece of pap posting again, ta.
-----------------------
Ant offered Pb a cigarette. He refused.
"What's the time?" Ant said, rubbing his eyes...
"4AM, ish. You've been asleep for 6 hours, you lazy git."
Ant tried to focus on the green display of the dashboard. "Any sightings yet?"
"No, obviously. I would have woke you."
"Woah, what's up with you?"
"Missing my sleep, perhaps?" Pb answered. "It doesn't matter anyway. We're both up now, and we've missed nothing."
"I wouldn't have fell asleep so easily if you had just turned down the heater a bit... but oh, no... you've got to have it blasting away, damn pansy."
Pb went to reply, but just breathed out. "I wonder sometimes why I work with you..."
"Yeah, me too."
The two of them sat in the Ford Escort, parked behind some large crates at SR docks. They had been on a stakeout for the past two days, after one of Ant's "hunches".
It had all started a month ago, when they got a call at their newly set up office...
----------------
"Pb, and Ant?"
"Yeah." Pb replied.
Ant looked at the door, and then back at Pb. "Ant and Pb, surely?"
"No..." Pb opened the door and walked through. "Pb and Ant rolls off the tongue. Ant and Pb is a bit... jerky to say. And with "Private Detectives" at the end, it sounds better."
"Cool, red phone." Ant said.
Pb shook his head, and sat down at his desk... finally, their dream had taken off, and they were Private Detectives!...
It had all started four months ago, at a industrial plant...
-----------------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb and Ant landed face down in the rubbish bins outside. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't just been thrown out of a needle recycling plant.
"You would think they would actually recycle the needles, instead of just throwing them out..."
"Never mind that." Pb said, picking the needles from his skin... "We've got a needle now! Let's get going!"
The search for a needle had started ten minutes ago, at the pub...
--------------
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
Pb swinging his arm around had started 20 seconds ago, talking to a woman sitting next to him...
------------
"It's huge. HUGE... I mean, it's about THIS bi..."
"ARGH!"
Ant shouted and cursed as Pb had spilt his pint all over him...
"Woah, sorry man."
"I spent THREE POUNDS on that pint! It's far too expensive to just... swing your arm around like that!"
"Yeah... err... sorry, I was just talking to this woman here..."
Pb looked back. The woman had gone.
"Never mind."
But Ant wasn't listening... he was watching, intrigued, as the barmat began to soak up his pint completely from the bar, leaving not a trace of alcohol on the wood.
"Damnit! My pint! The barmat drank it!"
"It did?" Pb asked, leaning over... "Try squeezing it, to get all the beer out."
So Ant did... but to no avail. The barmat held it like OJ Simpson holds a story...
"We need another way of getting the beer out..." Ant said.
Pb thought.
----------
"So, can we like, borrow a needle? I mean, we'll recycle it after."
"You're drunk! Both of you!" The man in the yellow helmet said. "Barney! Throw these two guys out the back way!"
----------
"AND STAY OUT!"
Pb pulled the needles from his face. "I said lets go! We've got a needle!"
"Hang on Pb... this doesn't make sense. I mean, they're supposed to be a recycling plant, but they're throwing out needles? Why?"
"Perhaps they're broken, and can't be used again." Pb said.
"Oh." Ant replied.
They both walked back to the pub. "Hell, we'd make great detectives." Ant said.
-------------
Pb admired the dq on the door, so much, that he didn't even notice the phone ringing.
Ant stood, and answered it. "Hi! This is Ant and Pb's Detective Agency, investigating all your needs, how can we be of service?"
"What time do you close?"
"5:30PM, and we take an hour from 1 till 2 for lunch."
"Ok. I'll pop down this afternoon... I've got a case for you."
"Ok..." Ant removed the packaging from his red diary, and took out a pen. "...I think we can just about fit you in, what time, and name, sorry?"
"Err... well, about 3 o'clock, and put down Sheepy as my name."
"Ok, thank you Sheepy, look forward to doing business with you."
Ant noticed that Sheepy had already hung up.
"You're not going to say stuff like that to every customer we get?"
"Probably not, and anyway, that's our ONLY customer." Ant said. "So we'll be nice, and we might get our name passed around. Yeah?"
"Dah, alright."
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