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"Nintendo - The Weakest Link?"

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Thu 28/02/02 at 18:02
Regular
Posts: 787
Welcome to a special edition of the Nintendo Weakest Link (if such a thing exists)! During this fantasy themed week we have with us today a selection of the finest Nintendo characters ever to grace the small screen. You know the rules; players have to create a chain of correct questions to build up a collection of mon…what does that say… coins?

(Mario) That’s-a right!

Anyway, back to the rules. Because you all have to jump back into your carts after a limited time three of you will be voted off after each round, to be decided by your teammates. Lets meet the team!

(Bond) The names Bond, James Bond. I’m a secret agent for M15.
(Mario) Its-a-me, Mario! I am-a plumber and all round superhero!
(Luigi) Hey, Mario you-a always go-a first! I am-a Luigi, a stupid-a ghost hunter.
(Pikachu) Pika! Pika-pikachu!
(Ganondorf) I try to take over the world…er…my current record is about 11 years of suspended time.
(Conker) Get on with it you p**face! I’m a beer-swilling squirrel…Ok!
(Link) Hello! I’m a Hylian hero (by the way the game show title is not a reflection on me)
(Donkey Kong) Hoo haa haa! I’m a bad guy turned good – has anyone seen K.rool?
(Banjo w/Kazooie) Nnnhaa! Were a bear and bird fighting combo!

(Anne) We’ve met the team, so lets play The Weakest Link!

(Anne) First question to Bond. First off, can I say I have been dying to meet you; maybe we can go back to my place after the show?
(Bond) Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me? (author - subtle hint to popular West End play)
(Anne) No!! On with the quiz. Who was the Russian General you defeated in Goldeneye?
(Bond) Omorouv
(Anne) 100 coins! Mario, What was Peach’s name before it was changed?
(Mario) Er…Apricot?
(Anne) Wrong. Luigi, give me an example of a ghost.
(Luigi) Juan Veron, because-a every time he walk on the pitch-a, he disappear!
(Anne) Correct for 100 coins. Pikachu, what sort of sound does a train make to a baby?
(Pikachu) Pika…chu chu?
(Anne) Yes it is choo but I’m sorry, I have to accept your first answer. Ganondorf, how many pieces are there in the triforce?
(Ganondorf) Two?
(Link) Geez, have you been watching that crappy cartoon again (author - only hardcore Zelda fans will get that)
(Anne) Wrong. Conker, what was the name of the pub in Only Fools and Horses?
(Conker) That’s p*** easy, it’s the Nags Head. $*@&£*^!!!
(Anne) Correct. Link, who does Ganondorf look like?
(Link) Jasper Carrot?

(Anne) Correct, 100 coins. DK, a tomato is a fruit. True or False?
(DK) Hoo haa haa! That’s easy, it’s false.
(Mario) Mama mia!
(Anne) Correct. Banjo, what job does Mario do?
(Banjo) I don’t know, my employers at Rare won’t tell me.
(Kazooie) A drummer?
(Anne) No, sorry, he’s a plumber.
(Banjo) Thanks a lot, you red haired freak!
(Anne) I beg your pardon! I’ve never been so insulted in all my life…
(Banjo) No! I was talking about Kazooie.
(Anne) At the end of that round you had 100 coins. Utterly pathetic!

So, which one of you has gone bananas?
Whose brain has been shaken but not stirred?
Whose pipes need a plumber?
Who is the weakest link?

(Surveys voting cards, Banjo and Kazooie get 4 votes, DK gets 3 votes, Mario gets 1 vote)

(Anne) Luigi, why did you vote for Mario? Is it because he got a question wrong?
(Luigi) No, I just hate-a him!
(Mario) You were always-a jealous of me…

*a scuffle breaks out until Shigeru Miyamoto comes in and stops it*

(Anne) Sorry, DK, Mario and Banjo, you are the Weakest Links! Now, on to Round2. Bond, what was the name of your latest game?
(Bond) ‘The World is Not Enough’?
(Ganondorf) You can say that again!
(Anne) Correct, 100 coins. Luigi, whose Mansion did you recently exorcise of ghosts?
(Luigi) It belonged to-a Mr. Yamauchi. The house was full-a of his enemies!
(Anne) Correct, 200 coins. Pikachu, what is the 251st Pokemon?
(Pikachu) Pikachu?
(Anne) Wishful thinking, I’m afraid. Down to zero. This question is to Ganondorf and Link. Who would win in a scrap out of you two, no weapons, no spells, just rolled up sleeves, outside, now?

*Link and Ganondorf start fighting and once again, Shigeru Miyamoto is forced to intervene, but declares Ganondorf the winner*

(Ganondorf) Looks like I just showed you were the weakest, Link! (author - I know, I know, it’s a terrible pun)
(Anne) Immediate disqualification for both of you, it was supposed to be outside! Conker, this time without the use of profanity, what do you use to clean hair?
(Conker) Shampoo?
(Anne) I said without profanity, and that word contained poo. Sorry!

So, who has run out of HP?
Which one of you should be carted away? (author – I know, I did it again)
Vote who you think is the weakest link?

(Conker gets 1 vote; Pikachu 3, Link and Ganondorf are DQ)

(Anne) So the final is out of Luigi and James Bond! First one to answer wins…Who is the most recognisable Nintendo character?
(Luigi) I can’t say it…Ma…Mar…
(Bond) Mario?
(Anne) Yes, James Bond is the winner!!!
(Luigi) Aaah, not again-a, Mario you ruin-a everything!!!

Thanks for reading

RM18
Thu 28/02/02 at 21:25
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
That's really sad.... I'm sorry but it really is......
Thu 28/02/02 at 21:33
"penguins in hawaii?"
Posts: 211
RM18 wrote:

Thanks! I thought it would be better if link lost because I just had
> to get the 'weakest link' pun in there!

Yeah, the amount of puns was unbelievable, but that was what made it funny. Oh, and 2 hours isn't a bad time at all. We are not all machines phil11p, we have to think things through you know! :P
Thu 28/02/02 at 21:47
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
I'm not saying anything about you being a machine, its just sad you took 2 hours to type out something like that. I would have rather played my N64!!
Thu 28/02/02 at 21:52
"penguins in hawaii?"
Posts: 211
Phi11ip wrote:
> I'm not saying anything about you being a machine, its just sad you took 2 hours
> to type out something like that. I would have rather played my N64!!

Fair enoguh. :)
Fri 01/03/02 at 12:18
Regular
Posts: 5,630
Phi11ip wrote:
> I'm not saying anything about you being a machine, its just sad you took 2 hours
> to type out something like that. I would have rather played my N64!!

How exactly is is 'sad'? PLaying an N64 is hardly any less anti social is it?
Fri 01/03/02 at 18:23
"penguins in hawaii?"
Posts: 211
RM18 wrote:
> Phi11ip wrote:
> I'm not saying anything about you being a machine, its just
> sad you took 2 hours
> to type out something like that. I would have rather
> played my N64!!

How exactly is is 'sad'? PLaying an N64 is hardly any less
> anti social is it?

Another fair point :)
Fri 01/03/02 at 18:27
Regular
"Long time no see!"
Posts: 8,351
I don't like the Weakest Link or Anne Robinson, but that was a good show!
The ending was good, but I don't really think the Mario Bros. would argue and despise each other so much!
Fri 01/03/02 at 18:43
Regular
Posts: 4,142
In other forums people couldnt be botherd reading this but they should of
Fri 01/03/02 at 21:17
Regular
"Chavez, just hush.."
Posts: 11,080
I was being sarcastic,my N64 is really getting boring now, 2 of my 3 controllers have broken and the only good games I got left are Perfect Dark and Goldeneye all the other games are really boring now...... There are many more intersting things I could have done other than play it.
Fri 01/03/02 at 21:23
Regular
Posts: 5,630
Phi11ip wrote:
> I was being sarcastic,my N64 is really getting boring now, 2 of my 3 controllers
> have broken and the only good games I got left are Perfect Dark and Goldeneye
> all the other games are really boring now...... There are many more intersting
> things I could have done other than play it.

Sorry, I realise it must have been really difficult to show sarcasm on a post (he says sarcastically)

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