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It all started on a Saturday Evening in the Christmas Holidays. Well, I decided to play my copy of Conkers Bad Fur Day that SR had kindly provided. Unfortunately I found out that I couldn't as yet because my controller was a little broken. So I took it upon myself to re-wire it and put all the buttons back in the kind of order that looked sort of right. I thought I might be better off ringing an electrician or some Nintendo controller expert, but I was confident that my own common sense would carry me through.
After completing the wirey bits I glued the top casing half back on, but then realised it was upside down! (Curse that complex controller design!!!) So as any normal person would, I knocked my head into my palm and let out the customary "DOH!" yell. Unfortunately, glue was still on my hand. But before I realised this fact, I softly knocked my head against the Television set. Then the horrible truth dawned on me. My forehead was stuck to the TV screen.
Thinking I had nothing better to do, I carried on with the controller repairs. They seemed to be going well. In another few minutes, I had bodged the controller back together. Now all I had to do was test it. So I stretched for the mains plug to the TV, and flicked it on. As I did so, the static made my head feel really wierd. I decided to carry on anyway. So on went the N64, and in went the controller into the port. And I began playing Conker.
After a few minutes my eyes were hurting a little, but I figured it was just because I was only a few centimetres from the screen. After approximately 19 and a half hours my hands were aching, and I was literally seeing red, my eyes were that bloodshot.
But I just couldn't put the game down, it was so addictive. Or the controller. After one attempt I realised that too was glued to me. As I entered a new area, full of more bright colours, I began spasms. I couldn't control my limbs, and that was so scarey! Suddenly I felt my neck jerk back, and I screamed out in pain. The skin of my forehead was still on the TV, and blood was pouring from my forehead.
Well, the TV screen was wrecked. I couldn't carry on with the Conker game, so off I went to play the Game Boy Color. DAMMIT! I meant Game Boy Colour.
Anyway, I started a game of Zelda on that, despite the enourmous throbbing pain on my head. Unfortunately one hand was still glued to the N64 controller, and as I played a small amount of blood must have found its way onto the bodged controller. This caused the electricity in it, although not a large amount, surged through my body. I was jolted, and my arm holding the Game Boy Colour went shooting up. To my head. The game boy went into the wound on my forehead. It really hurt. Then I fainted.
The doctors say they can't remove the Game Boy Colour as it is too close to the brain. And although it does loook pretty cool, my head is still sore, and I might have brain damage.
So that's what I'm suing Nintendo for. There weren't warnings about any of these things in their manuals (well, not in the pictures anyway, I didn't bother reading the words), and had there been warnings, this never would have happened.
Damn Dirty Nintendo.
> I've heard of stupidity before, but this takes the biscuit. (if this story is
> true). I mean, I've broken about 5 N64 pads overall in my fits of rage whilst
> having numerous frustrating moments playing some games, but like any sane person
> I go down to the shop and buy a knew pad, and if I was sure I could fix my pad I
> would, but if I was like you and don't know how to use glue I'd probably commit
> suicide.
p.s. jackass!!
I think YOU are the jackass
BLASPHEMY
DON'T!!!
It always ends in tears...
*breaks down in tears*
p.s. jackass!!
"I'm such a dumb idiot with no common sense what so ever, so I'll sue someone for me doing something utterly stupid that no one with intelligence greater than an amoeba would do."
Great idea.
I see Nintendo can get you hooked in more ways than one, ha ha ha ummm.
:0)