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I heard this joke today, it got me so fired up i nearly hit the guy who told me it. Anyway, it goes like this..
One day a boy and his dad went to the doctors and the boy was told he had ten years to live. It was nearly christmas so the dad asked his son what he wanted for christmas. He replied, "A pink ping-pong ball". The dad was puzzled by the choice, but he got it anyway. The boy ate it.
The second year the man asked his son what he wanted for christmas. He said, " A pink ping-pong ball". The dad bought it and the boy ate it.
The third year, the man asked what he wanted for christmas, and recommended that he should get something other than a pink ping-pong ball. The boy said, "A white ping-pong ball".. The boy was given it and he ate it.
The fourth year the boy asked for two pink ping-pong balls and ate both.
The fith year, the boy asked for a pink ping-pong ball and a white ping-pong ball and ate both.
The sixth year the boy asked for a blue ping-pong ball aand ate it.
the seventh year the boy asked for a red ping-pong ball and ate it.
The eighth year the boy asked for a yellow ping-pong ball and ate it.
The ninth year the boy asked for a green ping-pong ball and ate it.
The tenth year the dad said that since it was his last year to live, the boy should get something special. The boy asked for a blue and yellow spotted ping-pong ball and ate it. Three weeks later he died. The end.
This joke takes about ten minutes to be told to someone, as you take breaks at the end of pink, ping-pong and ball and at the end of each sentance. God it is annoying ( to be heard and to type it!!!)
One day a boy and his dad went to the doctors and the boy was told he had ten years to live. It was nearly christmas so the dad asked his son what he wanted for christmas. He replied, "A pink ping-pong ball". The dad was puzzled by the choice, but he got it anyway. The boy ate it.
The second year the man asked his son what he wanted for christmas. He said, " A pink ping-pong ball". The dad bought it and the boy ate it.
The third year, the man asked what he wanted for christmas, and recommended that he should get something other than a pink ping-pong ball. The boy said, "A white ping-pong ball".. The boy was given it and he ate it.
The fourth year the boy asked for two pink ping-pong balls and ate both.
The fith year, the boy asked for a pink ping-pong ball and a white ping-pong ball and ate both.
The sixth year the boy asked for a blue ping-pong ball aand ate it.
the seventh year the boy asked for a red ping-pong ball and ate it.
The eighth year the boy asked for a yellow ping-pong ball and ate it.
The ninth year the boy asked for a green ping-pong ball and ate it.
The tenth year the dad said that since it was his last year to live, the boy should get something special. The boy asked for a blue and yellow spotted ping-pong ball and ate it. Three weeks later he died. The end.
This joke takes about ten minutes to be told to someone, as you take breaks at the end of pink, ping-pong and ball and at the end of each sentance. God it is annoying ( to be heard and to type it!!!)
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savatt you were on the border of banning i think for those although reading down they were probably in better taste than the others LOL
well i had this joke but it wouldn't get past the censor on here sadly :( and i like being un-banned getting used to it now LOL
well i had this joke but it wouldn't get past the censor on here sadly :( and i like being un-banned getting used to it now LOL
A teacher stands in front of her class and says "ok class, today I'm going to ask you a question. If you could be made of anything you wanted, what would it be and why ?"
The teacher goes to the first boy. "What would you like to be made of ?". The boy replies "Gold miss !". "Why Gold ?" the teacher asks. "Because I could scratch myself and enough gold would come off to get me a Ferrari !".
"Thats a good idea !".
The teacher then goes to the next boy. "So what would you like to be made of ?". The boy replies "Platinum miss !".
"Why Platinum ?" the teacher asks. "Because Platinum is worth more than Gold. And everytime I scratch myself, enough would come off to get me a Ferrari and a Porche !".
"What a good idea !".
The teacher then goes to the third boy. "And what would you like to be?". The boy replies "Pubic hair miss !". The teacher asks "Pubic hair ?? Why ??".
The boy says "Well my sister has only got a small patch and you should see the cars outside OUR house !".
The teacher goes to the first boy. "What would you like to be made of ?". The boy replies "Gold miss !". "Why Gold ?" the teacher asks. "Because I could scratch myself and enough gold would come off to get me a Ferrari !".
"Thats a good idea !".
The teacher then goes to the next boy. "So what would you like to be made of ?". The boy replies "Platinum miss !".
"Why Platinum ?" the teacher asks. "Because Platinum is worth more than Gold. And everytime I scratch myself, enough would come off to get me a Ferrari and a Porche !".
"What a good idea !".
The teacher then goes to the third boy. "And what would you like to be?". The boy replies "Pubic hair miss !". The teacher asks "Pubic hair ?? Why ??".
The boy says "Well my sister has only got a small patch and you should see the cars outside OUR house !".
Ok jokes....
A boy comes home from school. He walks upstairs and finds that his sister's door is slightly open. He looks through as he passes and sees her on her bed running her hands all over her body while saying "I want a man, I want a man".
The next day, the boy gets back from school and again, his sister's door is slightly open. He looks through and his sister is having wild sex with a man. The boy then goes into his bedroom and starts running his hands all over his body saying "I want a bike, I want a bike".
A boy comes home from school. He walks upstairs and finds that his sister's door is slightly open. He looks through as he passes and sees her on her bed running her hands all over her body while saying "I want a man, I want a man".
The next day, the boy gets back from school and again, his sister's door is slightly open. He looks through and his sister is having wild sex with a man. The boy then goes into his bedroom and starts running his hands all over his body saying "I want a bike, I want a bike".
Here's a sad joke my dad told me
guy says to his mate "have you ever had your eyes checked?"
his mate says "no they've always been brown"
guy says to his mate "have you ever had your eyes checked?"
his mate says "no they've always been brown"
heres a joke
A woman was pregnant with triplets and she went out for a walk one night and got shot 3 times.
The doctor said she would be ok but when the children are 14 they will go to the toilet and a bullet will come out.
the woman had her triplets and they were 2 girls and a boy.
14 years passed and one girl came running up to the mum saying "mum,mum i went to the toliet and a bullet came out" thats ok said the mum it was supposed to happen.
the 2nd girl came running up to the mum saying "mum,mum i went to the toliet and a bullet came out" thats ok said the mum it was supposed to happen
a few days later the boy came running up saying mum,mum somethin strange happened to me.the mum says..did u go to the toliet and a bullet came out?
no says the boy
I was w**king and i shot the cat
A woman was pregnant with triplets and she went out for a walk one night and got shot 3 times.
The doctor said she would be ok but when the children are 14 they will go to the toilet and a bullet will come out.
the woman had her triplets and they were 2 girls and a boy.
14 years passed and one girl came running up to the mum saying "mum,mum i went to the toliet and a bullet came out" thats ok said the mum it was supposed to happen.
the 2nd girl came running up to the mum saying "mum,mum i went to the toliet and a bullet came out" thats ok said the mum it was supposed to happen
a few days later the boy came running up saying mum,mum somethin strange happened to me.the mum says..did u go to the toliet and a bullet came out?
no says the boy
I was w**king and i shot the cat
Actually that was a joke by Jethro it was the only one I could think of without any swearing in it, or that wouldn't offend anyone
Only because he's a midget.
Sorry if any of you happen to be midgets.
Sorry if any of you happen to be midgets.
What the.
But I bet you anything Ronnie Corbett could have stretched it out to a 15 minute section, AND got a huge laugh at the end.
That was ficking shut!
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