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Taken from the Pembrokeshire Echo
Lower-Hicklesbury-on-the-marsh resident Mark Shaneo has been caught cheating on his wife of thirty years, Melinda, again. As regular readers of the echo will know this is just the latest in a series of flings Shaneo has inflicted upon his poor wife. All of them with farm yard animals. Melinda released this message from her friend Julie's house, where she was being comforted;
"Oy can't believe e's dun it again. Oy just can't believe it. Oy sayed the last time tha' eef 'e ever done anything like that again oy was gonna tell him t'sling 'is hook"
Shaneo has a long history of affairs of this sort and is currently under investigation by ten constabularies. Already polic have taken the unprecedented measure of issuing all cows with a picture of the Pembrokeshire farmer so that he cannot commit more deviancies in the area. A spokesman for the Pemrokeshire cow population, Heffer Cow, commented:
"First BSE, then foot and mouth and now a mad farmer after our udders. Cows have been dealt a bum deal recently. I mean it's bad enough that we have to come to the early realisation that we are destined for slaughter and human consumption, but you would think we would be able to enjoy what little time we have left eating grass and sleeping and eating some more grass. It's not a lot to ask is it?"
Shaneo's latest assault bore all the hallmarks of a carefully planned operation. Wearing a cunning disguise Shaneo was able to bypass farmyard security and make his way to the field, where the cows, blissfully unaware of the sinister presence in their midst, continued to eat grass. According to eyewitnesses, Shaneo then spotted a docile Heffer straying into the copse at the end of the field and pursued it.
Luckily for the cow, a chance meeting with a pair of ramblers saved its hind. American tourists Sarah-Michelle Geller and her boyfriend Freddie Prinze Jr. were out walking in the woods when the distressed cow approached them, closely followed by a sinister man. Saddened by the cow's obvious discomfort, Geller unleashed a roundhouse kick on the pursuing Shaneo, leaving him lying prostrate on the forest's ferny floor. Having bound the assailant, Prinze phoned the police. Geller, however, had noticed that the man she had just KO'd was wearing a rubber mask. A passer-by overheard her say, "It's Mr.Shaneo! From the Bed and Breakfast!"
As the Police led Shaneo away he shouted angrily, "I would've gotten away with, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!"
Shaneo has received condemnation from across the globe, the Sun branded him "Sick!", while Mexico's El Sol labeled him "Desgraciado" and France's Le Soleil slammed him as "une victime d'une société repressée". Tony Blair was reported to have asked civil servants to keep him up-to-date with any developments in the case and is preparing a press release for tomorrow lunchtime.
Hello Magazine declined to comment saying that it had "better things to do than gossip all day"
Lower-Hicklesbury-on-the-marsh resident Mark Shaneo has been caught cheating on his wife of thirty years, Melinda, again. As regular readers of the echo will know this is just the latest in a series of flings Shaneo has inflicted upon his poor wife. All of them with farm yard animals. Melinda released this message from her friend Julie's house, where she was being comforted;
"Oy can't believe e's dun it again. Oy just can't believe it. Oy sayed the last time tha' eef 'e ever done anything like that again oy was gonna tell him t'sling 'is hook"
Shaneo has a long history of affairs of this sort and is currently under investigation by ten constabularies. Already polic have taken the unprecedented measure of issuing all cows with a picture of the Pembrokeshire farmer so that he cannot commit more deviancies in the area. A spokesman for the Pemrokeshire cow population, Heffer Cow, commented:
"First BSE, then foot and mouth and now a mad farmer after our udders. Cows have been dealt a bum deal recently. I mean it's bad enough that we have to come to the early realisation that we are destined for slaughter and human consumption, but you would think we would be able to enjoy what little time we have left eating grass and sleeping and eating some more grass. It's not a lot to ask is it?"
Shaneo's latest assault bore all the hallmarks of a carefully planned operation. Wearing a cunning disguise Shaneo was able to bypass farmyard security and make his way to the field, where the cows, blissfully unaware of the sinister presence in their midst, continued to eat grass. According to eyewitnesses, Shaneo then spotted a docile Heffer straying into the copse at the end of the field and pursued it.
Luckily for the cow, a chance meeting with a pair of ramblers saved its hind. American tourists Sarah-Michelle Geller and her boyfriend Freddie Prinze Jr. were out walking in the woods when the distressed cow approached them, closely followed by a sinister man. Saddened by the cow's obvious discomfort, Geller unleashed a roundhouse kick on the pursuing Shaneo, leaving him lying prostrate on the forest's ferny floor. Having bound the assailant, Prinze phoned the police. Geller, however, had noticed that the man she had just KO'd was wearing a rubber mask. A passer-by overheard her say, "It's Mr.Shaneo! From the Bed and Breakfast!"
As the Police led Shaneo away he shouted angrily, "I would've gotten away with, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!"
Shaneo has received condemnation from across the globe, the Sun branded him "Sick!", while Mexico's El Sol labeled him "Desgraciado" and France's Le Soleil slammed him as "une victime d'une société repressée". Tony Blair was reported to have asked civil servants to keep him up-to-date with any developments in the case and is preparing a press release for tomorrow lunchtime.
Hello Magazine declined to comment saying that it had "better things to do than gossip all day"
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Sniper[UK²] wrote:
> Wha? and from you stryke....
--
Yes, from me. Anyway, you don't know me, you're never here. Excellent.
Um, beard beard beard. It's expected.
> Wha? and from you stryke....
--
Yes, from me. Anyway, you don't know me, you're never here. Excellent.
Um, beard beard beard. It's expected.
Fair enough, Shaneo should've been banned for life the FIRST time - never mind the like, 7 times he's come back!
Is he a relative of one of the staff or summat? Why is he allowed back every single time?
Anyway, he is great to make fun of
Horrible thing to say I know, but he deserves it
Is he a relative of one of the staff or summat? Why is he allowed back every single time?
Anyway, he is great to make fun of
Horrible thing to say I know, but he deserves it
Wha? and from you stryke....
I had stuff like this directed at me during the LotR days, by Goatboy.
And it ruled. Arguing is great fun, Edgy. Lighten up.
And it ruled. Arguing is great fun, Edgy. Lighten up.
Stryke wrote:
> This is funny tripe. So it rules.
Would you find it as funny if directed at you?
> This is funny tripe. So it rules.
Would you find it as funny if directed at you?
Edgy wrote:
> Sniper[UK²] wrote:
> This ain't funny @ all..
I think this is the
> second thing you've ever said I've agreed with :)
Ditto
> Sniper[UK²] wrote:
> This ain't funny @ all..
I think this is the
> second thing you've ever said I've agreed with :)
Ditto
This is funny tripe. So it rules.
To me, it looks like this topic was set up for at least one of two reasons.
The first could just be a bit of fun, however not everyone appreciates being laughed at like this. I mean, Shaneo himself made Snuggly look a fool on the forums, and he banned Shaneo for it. What if Snuggly thought this as being similar treatment?
Secondly, it could've been posted to try and cause an argument, which it hasn't as of yet, but you never know!
Just think before posting utter tripe.
The first could just be a bit of fun, however not everyone appreciates being laughed at like this. I mean, Shaneo himself made Snuggly look a fool on the forums, and he banned Shaneo for it. What if Snuggly thought this as being similar treatment?
Secondly, it could've been posted to try and cause an argument, which it hasn't as of yet, but you never know!
Just think before posting utter tripe.
Ah well, it was funny at first but I'll just agree with the rest of you. *Sighs*
Shaneo deserves to be banned for life.
i was friends with him but he has betrayed me so i dont care anymore!
i was friends with him but he has betrayed me so i dont care anymore!
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