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Lower-Hicklesbury-on-the-marsh resident Mark Shaneo has been caught cheating on his wife of thirty years, Melinda, again. As regular readers of the echo will know this is just the latest in a series of flings Shaneo has inflicted upon his poor wife. All of them with farm yard animals. Melinda released this message from her friend Julie's house, where she was being comforted;
"Oy can't believe e's dun it again. Oy just can't believe it. Oy sayed the last time tha' eef 'e ever done anything like that again oy was gonna tell him t'sling 'is hook"
Shaneo has a long history of affairs of this sort and is currently under investigation by ten constabularies. Already polic have taken the unprecedented measure of issuing all cows with a picture of the Pembrokeshire farmer so that he cannot commit more deviancies in the area. A spokesman for the Pemrokeshire cow population, Heffer Cow, commented:
"First BSE, then foot and mouth and now a mad farmer after our udders. Cows have been dealt a bum deal recently. I mean it's bad enough that we have to come to the early realisation that we are destined for slaughter and human consumption, but you would think we would be able to enjoy what little time we have left eating grass and sleeping and eating some more grass. It's not a lot to ask is it?"
Shaneo's latest assault bore all the hallmarks of a carefully planned operation. Wearing a cunning disguise Shaneo was able to bypass farmyard security and make his way to the field, where the cows, blissfully unaware of the sinister presence in their midst, continued to eat grass. According to eyewitnesses, Shaneo then spotted a docile Heffer straying into the copse at the end of the field and pursued it.
Luckily for the cow, a chance meeting with a pair of ramblers saved its hind. American tourists Sarah-Michelle Geller and her boyfriend Freddie Prinze Jr. were out walking in the woods when the distressed cow approached them, closely followed by a sinister man. Saddened by the cow's obvious discomfort, Geller unleashed a roundhouse kick on the pursuing Shaneo, leaving him lying prostrate on the forest's ferny floor. Having bound the assailant, Prinze phoned the police. Geller, however, had noticed that the man she had just KO'd was wearing a rubber mask. A passer-by overheard her say, "It's Mr.Shaneo! From the Bed and Breakfast!"
As the Police led Shaneo away he shouted angrily, "I would've gotten away with, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids!"
Shaneo has received condemnation from across the globe, the Sun branded him "Sick!", while Mexico's El Sol labeled him "Desgraciado" and France's Le Soleil slammed him as "une victime d'une société repressée". Tony Blair was reported to have asked civil servants to keep him up-to-date with any developments in the case and is preparing a press release for tomorrow lunchtime.
Hello Magazine declined to comment saying that it had "better things to do than gossip all day"
Seriously
Mark Shaneo is a 43 year old farmer from Pembrokeshire, not a member of the forums.
Oh well.
I actually agree with the people who thought it wasn't funny. It was at one point but when I clicked to post it, the filter objected to something and when I clicked back the post had vanished. So I rewrote hurredly and left it unfunny.
Anyway give Shaneo a break. The point wasn't to provoke an argument, it wasn't even directed at Shaneo. Just proves what a celebrity the guy is - put his name in the titlebar and you get a multitude of responses.
Yes Shaneo has had a bad past on SR,
> but didn't SR punish him enough?? Well, if they feel he should be banned for
> life, then why haven't they done it??
They did, but he re registered under a different username and promise to be good. 6 times in a row. But now he has not cheated for a while, so unless he does he can stay (apparently).
> Shaneo you cheating swine
This is old news, grow up, shut up and if you still have a problem with Mr. Snuggly's judgement, then why don't you email him instead of wasting forum space?
Thank's for your time!
DW.
P.S, What's your postcode??
> I had stuff like this directed at me during the LotR days, by Goatboy.
And it
> ruled. Arguing is great fun, Edgy. Lighten up.
It is fun. But a lot of unfair remarks are made at Shaun, which ain't so funny.