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If I had the dosh I would get an Xbox rather than GC. It has more Playstation-like games than GC, maybe that's why!
Is it just me or is it impossible to put Cilla Black's accent into written word. Chook.
Makes a nice change from seeing the same old jokes cycling over and over. Excellent stuff ;)
You almost got me complaining about your attitude to the GameCube there til I got to the end :)
"Hello chucks and welcoom to Bline date, with mie Silla Blac. Uer first contestent toniaght is Gricks Frraves."
"Don't touch me."
"Ha ha! Loverely. Ain't we got some great contesstents toniaght for yer."
*On seat number one, the PS2! The PS2 comes from Japan, and enjoys pretending it's the only console on the market, but still has some decent games!*
*On seat number two, the Gamecube! Also coming from Japan, the Gamecube charms the younger generation with it's baby Westlife looks, and with his motto: 'small is better', does he even stand a chance?*
*And on seat number three, the X-Box! Coming from America, the big fat piece of junk who lives in it's own world speaks a lot for it's home country, and with a grand total of zero decent games, it'll have to, as always, use it's looks to pull through!*
"Can't you just give me a Gamecube?"
"That's loverarly chuck, now why don't you ask derr consoles them lovearly questions you've come ap with."
"Ok. Question to console number one, After a night of gaming, I feel like snuggling up and looking for porn on my tv. How could you help me provide myself with porn?"
"Metal Gear Solid 2!"
"Err... sorry? Shall I repeat the question?"
"METALLL GEEAAAARRRRRR SOOOOOLIDDDDD... with a new special edition, showing how it was made!"
"Err... ok, same question to console two."
"Porn? What's that?"
"... Console three?"
"Ha! These dimwits haven't got a clue. With my broadband connection, and with the BEST internet browser on the market, you can sit back in your pants while the porn streams to your tv as if you were subscribed to the Fantasy Channel... and what's better, you can get porn 24 hours a day, which no other service can provide!"
*audience woos*
"Ok, cheers, thanks. Ok, for my second question: Me and my mates have just got in from the pub, drunk as hell, and we need a multiplayer game to have a laugh with. What's the best multiplayer game you could recommend to us... and that goes to console number two."
"Drunk? What do you mean?"
"...Ok, console three?"
"Ha, with my four controllers, and multitude of party and action games, you'd have a damn hard time trying to pick out a single game that's more perfect than all the rest!"
*crowd woos*
"Ok, thanks. Console one?"
"METAAAALLLLL GEEEEEARRRR SOOLLLLIDDDD 2!"
"But that doesn't have a multiplayer mode, does it?"
"METAAAAAALLL... FINAALLL FANNNTTASSSYYY."
"Neither does that. Never mind. Last question. I've had a really crap day in work, and I need to come home and enjoy myself. Does your console have the types of games that would really cheer me up after a down? And that's to console three."
"Hell yes! There isn't one damn game on my system that wouldn't pick you up, shake you around, and kiss your damn face with the greatness that it is. Choose me, and you'll always be on a high!"
*audience woos*
"Ok, thanks. Console one?"
"FINALLLLLL FANNNTASSSYYYYY! MEETAAALLL GEARRR SOLLIDDD 2! GRAAANNNN TURRRISSSMOOOO!"
"Oh, right. Yeah, they would. Cool. Console two?"
"Work?"
"Oh for God's sake."
"I mean... I don't understand all these words. I'm so small and sweet, nobody understands me. All I want to do is play games, and for others to play my games. *coughs*"
"Audiences goes "arrrrr"*
"So what games?"
"Errmm... well, it really does depend on your tastes, I can't say which of my games would help. I'm sorry, I've failed."
"Ok chuck, that's the last of your questions... here's our loverarly Graaham with a recap."
"WILL YOU CHOOSE CONSOLE NUMBER ONNNNE, WHO WANTS TO MAKE *YOUR* FINAL FANTASY?"
*audience woos*
"OR WILL YOU CHOOSE CONSOLE NUMBER TWWWOOO, THE SWEET CONSOLE WHO ONLY WANTS TO PLEASE YOU?"
*audience woos*
"OR WILL YOU CHOOSE CONSOLE NUMBER THREEEE, THE PERFECT HOME MACHINE THAT WILL SUCCUMB TO YOUR EVERY NEED?"
*audience woos*
"THE DECISION, IS YOURS!"
"So, who you're gonna pick, chuck?"
"I pick console number three."
*audience cheers and claps*
A WEEK LATER.
"So, how did it go, chuck?"
"The X-Box sucks! There's like one decent game on it, it's horrible to touch, the internet doesn't even work because we don't have broadband, and I'm getting so tired of it!"
"Hey, but don't I look great?"
"Shut the fun up!"
------------
Morale of the story: X-Box may look great, but it's crap.
If I had the dosh I would get an Xbox rather than GC. It has more Playstation-like games than GC, maybe that's why!