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Note to All Children -
I deeply regret having to do this, but it is for your own benefit, and so you are not left in tears on Christmas morning and start kicking your parents and threating to burn down your house. Let's start from the beginning...
It was just an ordinary day at our workshop - elves were working for minimum wage, Mrs Claus was running her strip bar and I was tucking into my mountain of mice pies, all freshly prepared by the french chef who we are keeping hostage. All of a sudden, an elf came running into the office and started screaming 'SIR! AN...' Then I knocked him out of the way, as he was blocking my arm from the mince pies. Once he'd stopped his head from bleeding, he finished 'An elf has playing with one of the presents!'
I was shocked. An elf had never recovered from being thrown against my table, but more so because an elf had the cheek to play with toys. Last time this had happened the barbie got so stained we had to send for a replacement doll and the elf was put in rehab for 6 months.
Once I got out of the door all I could see was thousands of elves crowded around one television set. My ears were drowning in a sea of 'Get Him!' 'Ha! You're out!' and 'Don't you EVER touch me there again!'. I ran to see what they were all doing. It took me an hour of reach the other side of the room, but 15 metres is a long way to run when you're my weight.
I forced the mass of midgets aside to uncover the 4 team leaders frantically pressing buttons on purple control pads which seemed to be controling some people on the screen. I threw the smallest elf off of his seat and grabbed his control pad and began to play - it seemed that we had to direct our character to trace a line. It was hard. Very hard, especially with my stubby fingers. The others seemed to be doing perfectly, so I swang my pad around, lasso style, which knocked them out, leaving me to win
It took them a while to wake up, even with first aid help, so I got another few elves to play with me. We continued around a board and my character - a dog like green dinosaur got a mushroom, which I used to crush the others.
We went on to play for hours and work gradually came to a holt as more and more elves we brought in to fill the spaces left by those who's beat me at mini games. I eventually got better and started to win more and more - either that or the elves were suffering from concussion.
Now the factory hasn't made a toy for a child in months, and we've employed some more elves just to get more games for our 'Gamecube'. Mario Party 4 is still our favourite, and we whip it out whenever we find ourselves bored with any of our others - Super Monkey Ball, ISS 2 and Tony Hawks Pro Skater 4. The especially employed elves are currently working on getting an American cube with Monkey Ball 2. They came so close when they ram raided a Toys 'r' Us in New York, but we lost half of the platoon when an X - Box fell on them, instantly crushing them all.
Fortunately we also have an X - Box, which we are getting a lot of usage out of, as it makes an excellent stand for our Gamecube.
I've just got a Wavebird, which makes it easier for me, as I can play from my office, thus saving my energy of having to move from sleeping in my chair into the main foyer, as well as being near my vast amount of Mince Pies.
Anyway, to get back ont the subject, Christmas this year is cancelled. Every other year we have worked our socks off to ensure you whinging brats get your presents on time, so we at least deserve one year off to enjoy ourselves.
Actually, looking at next years release schedule, lets make it 2 years off.
Santa (Copyright 2002)
I deeply regret having to do this, but it is for your own benefit, and so you are not left in tears on Christmas morning and start kicking your parents and threating to burn down your house. Let's start from the beginning...
It was just an ordinary day at our workshop - elves were working for minimum wage, Mrs Claus was running her strip bar and I was tucking into my mountain of mice pies, all freshly prepared by the french chef who we are keeping hostage. All of a sudden, an elf came running into the office and started screaming 'SIR! AN...' Then I knocked him out of the way, as he was blocking my arm from the mince pies. Once he'd stopped his head from bleeding, he finished 'An elf has playing with one of the presents!'
I was shocked. An elf had never recovered from being thrown against my table, but more so because an elf had the cheek to play with toys. Last time this had happened the barbie got so stained we had to send for a replacement doll and the elf was put in rehab for 6 months.
Once I got out of the door all I could see was thousands of elves crowded around one television set. My ears were drowning in a sea of 'Get Him!' 'Ha! You're out!' and 'Don't you EVER touch me there again!'. I ran to see what they were all doing. It took me an hour of reach the other side of the room, but 15 metres is a long way to run when you're my weight.
I forced the mass of midgets aside to uncover the 4 team leaders frantically pressing buttons on purple control pads which seemed to be controling some people on the screen. I threw the smallest elf off of his seat and grabbed his control pad and began to play - it seemed that we had to direct our character to trace a line. It was hard. Very hard, especially with my stubby fingers. The others seemed to be doing perfectly, so I swang my pad around, lasso style, which knocked them out, leaving me to win
It took them a while to wake up, even with first aid help, so I got another few elves to play with me. We continued around a board and my character - a dog like green dinosaur got a mushroom, which I used to crush the others.
We went on to play for hours and work gradually came to a holt as more and more elves we brought in to fill the spaces left by those who's beat me at mini games. I eventually got better and started to win more and more - either that or the elves were suffering from concussion.
Now the factory hasn't made a toy for a child in months, and we've employed some more elves just to get more games for our 'Gamecube'. Mario Party 4 is still our favourite, and we whip it out whenever we find ourselves bored with any of our others - Super Monkey Ball, ISS 2 and Tony Hawks Pro Skater 4. The especially employed elves are currently working on getting an American cube with Monkey Ball 2. They came so close when they ram raided a Toys 'r' Us in New York, but we lost half of the platoon when an X - Box fell on them, instantly crushing them all.
Fortunately we also have an X - Box, which we are getting a lot of usage out of, as it makes an excellent stand for our Gamecube.
I've just got a Wavebird, which makes it easier for me, as I can play from my office, thus saving my energy of having to move from sleeping in my chair into the main foyer, as well as being near my vast amount of Mince Pies.
Anyway, to get back ont the subject, Christmas this year is cancelled. Every other year we have worked our socks off to ensure you whinging brats get your presents on time, so we at least deserve one year off to enjoy ourselves.
Actually, looking at next years release schedule, lets make it 2 years off.
Santa (Copyright 2002)
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maddmun wrote:
> hmm, crazy fool didn't realise that there was a wall behind him
LOL if you was talking to CYCLONE and Whitesripes.
> hmm, crazy fool didn't realise that there was a wall behind him
LOL if you was talking to CYCLONE and Whitesripes.
hmm, crazy fool didn't realise that there was a wall behind him
Asta-la-vista Cyclone!
*Bang*
If he survives I'll be back.
*Bang*
If he survives I'll be back.
Ha, crazy foo' didn't realise I was in Hero Time pretending to be in normal time, and I held up a metal sheet as he kicked me
*runs out faster*
*runs out faster*
*Enters Bullet Time and kicks WS in the head*
*Runs out*
*Runs out*
Quick Gerrid, get the staple gun
Now he's having a manic laughing fit we can get him
*pins at the ready*
Now he's having a manic laughing fit we can get him
*pins at the ready*
*Laughs at Gerrids joke*
HEHEH!
:D
HEHEH!
:D
what happened to the other one? It magically disappeared
It is a great topic, but we are all too used to Tribute making great topics to say anything about it.
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