The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
It has to be said really. I'm trotting along my gaming beach on PS2 horseback, a world of adventure and freedom opening up in front of me. And there it is. Rising out of the horizon, an icon of all that is American and apple pie.
I can't quite believe what I'm seeing, so get a bit closer, only to gape in wonder as the ramifications of what I'm seeing become clearer.
I thought the gaming industry had learnt its lessons, that never again would it inflict upon gamers the woeful kind of destruction that was Barbie Race and Ride. But there she is, right there, on my horizon, large as life.
Yes, Britney's Dance Beat is coming out in May. On all formats. There's no escaping it. There will be no collateral damage. All gamers will be tainted.
The most annoying thing for me is, this game actually looks quite good. I've seen a couple of gameplay videos, and the action centres around performing button presses and combinations of buttons and the D-pad in time to a little sweeping hand that swipes around a little semi-quaver clock at the bottom left of your screen, one revolution per bar of music.
The sound is sickly sweet, all your actions are performed to Britney singing her most famous tracks including 'Stronger' and 'Oops I Did It Again' etc., with a Britney-like squeaky voice injecting the occaisional "C'mon now!" and "Perfect!" by way of encouragement. This Britney-like voice sounds unerringly like Barbie in Barbie Race and Ride by the way. Or maybe I'm just getting a little psychotic.
As for the graphics? Well, how can you go wrong with a bikini-clad Britney doing pelvic thrusts in bonus levels? In the main game you've got a camera panning around your dancer giving you the odd glimpse of a video screen in the background playing the accompanying original video for the current track.
And all you have to do is get a high enough score to eventually end up in Britney's dance troupe. Has ANY game ever offered such an outstanding reward for consistently great gameplay? I think not. Even the epic and protracted ending to MGS2: Sons of Liberty will pale in comparison to the finale of Britney's Dance Beat.
This is going to sell faster than Britney's used underwear on e-Bay. But at least I'm now prepared. When Barbie came out I didn't get any warning, it was just THERE on the shelf, and it's nauseating gameplay simplicity and 'niceness' was a shock to the system at first. But by carefully limiting my time on the game and attending several counselling sessions and self-help groups, I got over it.
This time, I know it's coming. And I know I'm going to buy it, because I always like to have at least one outstanding game in my collection as an example to others. And I've already booked my pre-post traumatic stress disorder avoidance therapy for the next 3 months, so I should be OK.
In the meantime, all I ask is that users of the forums kindly avoid any mention of Barbie, Britney...no, wait, in fact ANY word beginning with the letter 'B', avoid that please. The next 12 weeks will be a Britney strain for me, but have no Britney fear, FM WILL pull through Britney it.
I can't quite believe what I'm seeing, so get a bit closer, only to gape in wonder as the ramifications of what I'm seeing become clearer.
I thought the gaming industry had learnt its lessons, that never again would it inflict upon gamers the woeful kind of destruction that was Barbie Race and Ride. But there she is, right there, on my horizon, large as life.
Yes, Britney's Dance Beat is coming out in May. On all formats. There's no escaping it. There will be no collateral damage. All gamers will be tainted.
The most annoying thing for me is, this game actually looks quite good. I've seen a couple of gameplay videos, and the action centres around performing button presses and combinations of buttons and the D-pad in time to a little sweeping hand that swipes around a little semi-quaver clock at the bottom left of your screen, one revolution per bar of music.
The sound is sickly sweet, all your actions are performed to Britney singing her most famous tracks including 'Stronger' and 'Oops I Did It Again' etc., with a Britney-like squeaky voice injecting the occaisional "C'mon now!" and "Perfect!" by way of encouragement. This Britney-like voice sounds unerringly like Barbie in Barbie Race and Ride by the way. Or maybe I'm just getting a little psychotic.
As for the graphics? Well, how can you go wrong with a bikini-clad Britney doing pelvic thrusts in bonus levels? In the main game you've got a camera panning around your dancer giving you the odd glimpse of a video screen in the background playing the accompanying original video for the current track.
And all you have to do is get a high enough score to eventually end up in Britney's dance troupe. Has ANY game ever offered such an outstanding reward for consistently great gameplay? I think not. Even the epic and protracted ending to MGS2: Sons of Liberty will pale in comparison to the finale of Britney's Dance Beat.
This is going to sell faster than Britney's used underwear on e-Bay. But at least I'm now prepared. When Barbie came out I didn't get any warning, it was just THERE on the shelf, and it's nauseating gameplay simplicity and 'niceness' was a shock to the system at first. But by carefully limiting my time on the game and attending several counselling sessions and self-help groups, I got over it.
This time, I know it's coming. And I know I'm going to buy it, because I always like to have at least one outstanding game in my collection as an example to others. And I've already booked my pre-post traumatic stress disorder avoidance therapy for the next 3 months, so I should be OK.
In the meantime, all I ask is that users of the forums kindly avoid any mention of Barbie, Britney...no, wait, in fact ANY word beginning with the letter 'B', avoid that please. The next 12 weeks will be a Britney strain for me, but have no Britney fear, FM WILL pull through Britney it.
Page:
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
It has to be said really. I'm trotting along my gaming beach on PS2 horseback, a world of adventure and freedom opening up in front of me. And there it is. Rising out of the horizon, an icon of all that is American and apple pie.
I can't quite believe what I'm seeing, so get a bit closer, only to gape in wonder as the ramifications of what I'm seeing become clearer.
I thought the gaming industry had learnt its lessons, that never again would it inflict upon gamers the woeful kind of destruction that was Barbie Race and Ride. But there she is, right there, on my horizon, large as life.
Yes, Britney's Dance Beat is coming out in May. On all formats. There's no escaping it. There will be no collateral damage. All gamers will be tainted.
The most annoying thing for me is, this game actually looks quite good. I've seen a couple of gameplay videos, and the action centres around performing button presses and combinations of buttons and the D-pad in time to a little sweeping hand that swipes around a little semi-quaver clock at the bottom left of your screen, one revolution per bar of music.
The sound is sickly sweet, all your actions are performed to Britney singing her most famous tracks including 'Stronger' and 'Oops I Did It Again' etc., with a Britney-like squeaky voice injecting the occaisional "C'mon now!" and "Perfect!" by way of encouragement. This Britney-like voice sounds unerringly like Barbie in Barbie Race and Ride by the way. Or maybe I'm just getting a little psychotic.
As for the graphics? Well, how can you go wrong with a bikini-clad Britney doing pelvic thrusts in bonus levels? In the main game you've got a camera panning around your dancer giving you the odd glimpse of a video screen in the background playing the accompanying original video for the current track.
And all you have to do is get a high enough score to eventually end up in Britney's dance troupe. Has ANY game ever offered such an outstanding reward for consistently great gameplay? I think not. Even the epic and protracted ending to MGS2: Sons of Liberty will pale in comparison to the finale of Britney's Dance Beat.
This is going to sell faster than Britney's used underwear on e-Bay. But at least I'm now prepared. When Barbie came out I didn't get any warning, it was just THERE on the shelf, and it's nauseating gameplay simplicity and 'niceness' was a shock to the system at first. But by carefully limiting my time on the game and attending several counselling sessions and self-help groups, I got over it.
This time, I know it's coming. And I know I'm going to buy it, because I always like to have at least one outstanding game in my collection as an example to others. And I've already booked my pre-post traumatic stress disorder avoidance therapy for the next 3 months, so I should be OK.
In the meantime, all I ask is that users of the forums kindly avoid any mention of Barbie, Britney...no, wait, in fact ANY word beginning with the letter 'B', avoid that please. The next 12 weeks will be a Britney strain for me, but have no Britney fear, FM WILL pull through Britney it.
I can't quite believe what I'm seeing, so get a bit closer, only to gape in wonder as the ramifications of what I'm seeing become clearer.
I thought the gaming industry had learnt its lessons, that never again would it inflict upon gamers the woeful kind of destruction that was Barbie Race and Ride. But there she is, right there, on my horizon, large as life.
Yes, Britney's Dance Beat is coming out in May. On all formats. There's no escaping it. There will be no collateral damage. All gamers will be tainted.
The most annoying thing for me is, this game actually looks quite good. I've seen a couple of gameplay videos, and the action centres around performing button presses and combinations of buttons and the D-pad in time to a little sweeping hand that swipes around a little semi-quaver clock at the bottom left of your screen, one revolution per bar of music.
The sound is sickly sweet, all your actions are performed to Britney singing her most famous tracks including 'Stronger' and 'Oops I Did It Again' etc., with a Britney-like squeaky voice injecting the occaisional "C'mon now!" and "Perfect!" by way of encouragement. This Britney-like voice sounds unerringly like Barbie in Barbie Race and Ride by the way. Or maybe I'm just getting a little psychotic.
As for the graphics? Well, how can you go wrong with a bikini-clad Britney doing pelvic thrusts in bonus levels? In the main game you've got a camera panning around your dancer giving you the odd glimpse of a video screen in the background playing the accompanying original video for the current track.
And all you have to do is get a high enough score to eventually end up in Britney's dance troupe. Has ANY game ever offered such an outstanding reward for consistently great gameplay? I think not. Even the epic and protracted ending to MGS2: Sons of Liberty will pale in comparison to the finale of Britney's Dance Beat.
This is going to sell faster than Britney's used underwear on e-Bay. But at least I'm now prepared. When Barbie came out I didn't get any warning, it was just THERE on the shelf, and it's nauseating gameplay simplicity and 'niceness' was a shock to the system at first. But by carefully limiting my time on the game and attending several counselling sessions and self-help groups, I got over it.
This time, I know it's coming. And I know I'm going to buy it, because I always like to have at least one outstanding game in my collection as an example to others. And I've already booked my pre-post traumatic stress disorder avoidance therapy for the next 3 months, so I should be OK.
In the meantime, all I ask is that users of the forums kindly avoid any mention of Barbie, Britney...no, wait, in fact ANY word beginning with the letter 'B', avoid that please. The next 12 weeks will be a Britney strain for me, but have no Britney fear, FM WILL pull through Britney it.
Page: