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Who is Jack Schitt?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
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Heh, my cousin emailed me this a while ago, so damn funny.
Anyone had The Scouser Olympics one? I nearly pashed myself laughing at that :-D
Anyone had The Scouser Olympics one? I nearly pashed myself laughing at that :-D
Hehe, I had this mailed to me a few weeks ago, very funny.
Very funny indeed. One of the funniest I have read in a long time. Keep it up.
Great post! Well worthy of a GAD!! My dad says Jack Schitt quite often, but he also says "You don't know Schitt Didly!!" - I think that's linked to Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. And i've always wondered what both those phrases mean.
That is very, very funny. Funniest thing I've heard in a LONG time. Go on, SR, give him a GAD. It may be a bit rude, but god I laughed.
Hillarious.
The funniest topic i've ever read!
It made me giggle (A lot)
Can I E-mail it to a freind?
The funniest topic i've ever read!
It made me giggle (A lot)
Can I E-mail it to a freind?
lol :-D
I thought you were talking about the game 'You Don't Know Jack' when I read the topic title.
Very funny though.
Very funny though.
Very good.
"You don't know Jack" is also the tagline for "From Hell" which I'm going to see on Saturady.
"You don't know Jack" is also the tagline for "From Hell" which I'm going to see on Saturady.
Funniest topic I think I've read on here, LOL! Superb, Wookiee.
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