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"Foot Gaming"

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Sun 19/01/03 at 20:08
Regular
Posts: 787
Today I was lying on my bed, bored as usual and couldn't be bothered playing Fifa 2003 any longer. Since I wanted to finish the tournament I was in I started the game off, layed back and browsed the SR mag for a bit. I occasionally tapped the pad with my foot so gameplay continued (Won't continue if ball goes out of play). I just got to the CD Re-writers and I heard a commotion coming from the TV, I had scored!

This began a revelation within my bedroom I will call 'Foot Gaming'. I lay back and bashed away at the controller with my feet. Slowly but surely I adapted to it and scored again, and again. After I had started to win matches win such ease it felt like I was playing my 6 month old neice, I turned to some other games for more of a challenge.

The first game I tried was Medal of Honor Frontline (GC) The Normandy beach landing - I sprinted out of the water. I hid behind one of the large metal thingys whilst I tried to change my weapon (for about 5 minutes), I got my semi automatic and ran about like a headless chicken firing into the air. I got as far as completing the first objective but was, sadly, killed by the Nazi's who have little or no sympathy for the Foot Gamers.

I realised that perhaps first person shooters weren't the best games to try to play with my feet. I browsed through my collection and came across tekken 3 (PS1). I dusted my PS1 down and plugged it in (No, not with my feet) and began frantically bashing the pad with my toes. I got to the 6th fight in the tournament undefeated but was hurt, badly, by the big gay panda. At this point I gave up, knowing I would probably never play the game again.

What was I to conquer next? Well, I didnt like Starfox Adventures when I played with my hands but it could be different with my feet. It wasn't. I manages to talk to the same dinosaur 8 times because I managed to turn around and then I fell into a river. I dislike the game even more now but did devise a way to turn off the gamecube with my feet. I kicked it. Hard. So Starfox didnt work, but surely something else would... right?

I found possibly the best Foot Game ever, in the form of Super Monkey Ball. Brilliant enough using your hands but even more brilliant, and frustrating, with your feet. The controlls are simple, fortunately, and if you have agile toes it should prove no problem. But my toes are big and square due to several years of playing football almost every day. The monkey contained in a ball would be a bloody mess if it had been real, fortunately for the monkey, and the RSPCA, it wasn't. I got to level 5 though, barely.

I have covered the RPG's, Sports games, FPS's and platormers. The only genre left in my collection was the horror/adventures. What better but resident evil to test my feet to the limit. I selected Jill Valentine and my quest began. I stumbled through the dining room to the first zombie, jammed a knife in its head and managed to draw my gun and kill it. (I changed the control settings so I didnt have u use R to draw the gun)
I wandered aimlessly through the level, struggling to pick up items or open doors but it was fun, very fun. I loaded an old saved game and went head to head (or should that be foot to head) with Tyrant. I died, gorily.

After running out of console games I wanted to play, I logged onto the PC and tried to talk to people on msn with my feet. My toes are, it seems, too big for the keyboard as I press 4 keys at a time and nothing I say makes sense. I have an optical mouse though, so I can use it well with my feet and click on different websites and play Roller Coaster Tycoon with relative ease.

It is when people began swearing at me on msn that I reverted back to using my hands like a sane person. But the foot gaming era will come, one day.

Hope you enjoyed

-kyz˛˛-
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:33
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Disease Spreading purposes.
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:32
Regular
"Ghost Mutt"
Posts: 1,326
Why would anyone in their right mind ever want to buy a second hand controller? They are filled with other peoples sweat. Why do they even sell them in Gamestation?
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:31
Posts: 0
Loris?
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:30
Regular
Posts: 3,893
Loris.
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:28
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
Poor.
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:24
Posts: 0
Just remind me never to buy second hand controllers.... If this is what people do with them :-)
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:20
Regular
"Beaten with sticks"
Posts: 638
But Gerrid then he will be there when you come to my room! *runs in case Gerrid gets angry*
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:19
Regular
"Beaten with sticks"
Posts: 638
I only have the tiny piece of the wenchmobile I am Sworn to protect and Kyle you didnt steal it you imagination got the better of you again *looks smug* and froots it's ok i have painted it even more blue to make it more invisible!
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:19
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
froots come on MSN.
And you two, get a room.
Sun 19/01/03 at 21:18
Regular
Posts: 3,893
I dont think either of you have the right to talk about the Wenchmobile in that way. I'm Very dissapointed. *sighs*

*talks to self* When will they learn?

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