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"Wrestlemania Main Event (spoof)"

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Wed 23/01/02 at 16:43
Regular
Posts: 787
OK, I only got one reply when I posted this earlier, and that was from my mate, so I thought I'd try again. It's good for a laugh



The scene - Wrestlemania 18


JR - Tonight, a mystery opponent has a title shot against the first ever Undisputed Champion : Chris Jericho! Oh boy is this going to be a slobber knocker!

King - I can't wait! But first, let's talk about puppies, JR. I love puppies! Woohoo! Puppies! Woohoo!

*JR holds his hand over his mic so he can calm the King down*

JR - (muffled) Dammit, Jerry, you can't say that!

King - Sorry

JR - (normal) OK ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the biggest match of the year.

*Y2J's music hits, he gets a few boos. He appears at the top of the ramp and struts down, kissing his titles*

Y2J - Now listen up! I'm a living legend dammit!

*Crowd chants "boring"*

*Y2J realises his heel mic skills are below average, so quits while he's ahead*

JR - Now it's time to find out who his mystery opponent is!

King - This is totally unfair, Y2J deserves more than this!

*Some rubbish music starts and a figure appears, dressed in adidas pants and trainers*

JR - Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! It's MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN!

*The crowd is completely silent, save for a few coughs*

King - Maven? Oh no!

*Y2J does his best to appear frightened as Maven enters the ring, smiling, and winking at the camera*

Maven - This is for you, mom!

*Y2J attacks Maven from behind*

JR - Oh what a cheap shot by Jericho!

King - What match are you watching, Ross?

*The two wrestlers (well, one wrestler, one 15 minute of famer) duel it out with right hands. Of course, Maven gets the upper hand.*

JR - Jericho whipped into the corner, oh but he gets his boot up into Maven's face! Whether you like Jericho or not, you HAVE to respect his ability

King - Um, yeah... What he said

JR - Hey! This isn't a no DQ match! What's Jericho doing getting a steel chair!

King - Maybe he wants to sit down!

*Y2J pushes the ref down and cracks Maven over the head with the chair*

*Maven falls down and can clearly be seen pulling a razor out of his pants and blading himself. The cameraman, realising he is too close, runs away backstage*

JR - Oh my God! This match has gotta be over!

*Y2J pulls the ref up and and covers Maven*

JR - This is a damn shame!

*Maven, of course, kicks out*

*The crowd remain silent*

JR - Oh my God! He kicked out! He kicked out! He kicked out!

*Y2J grabs one his belts from the time keeper and runs in, smashing Maven over the head with it. The ref looks the other way, pretending to be distracted*

JR - No! Not again! He hit him again!

King - What?

JR - Didn't you see that?

King - Sorry, I, um, had something in my eye... wow, look at those puppies in the fourth row...

JR - Dammit, Jericho is gonna steal one!

*Again, Maven kicks out. The crowd boos*

JR - He dug down deeper than any person in the history of the Universe has ever had to dig!

King - Eh?

*Y2J does his best to act angry, but Maven jumps up and they lock up*

JR - Wow, this action is hot!

*Maven and Y2J struggle back and forth in the grapple for about 5 minutes. People in the front row are hurling abuse at them*

*Y2J low blows Maven and runs to the top turnbuckle. He missile dropkicks Maven who clearly gets his hand up to block it and as soon as he is knocked down, he gets back up*

JR - Oh my God! Jericho stole Maven's finisher! What a son of a b*tch!

King - Sorry, what? I was looking at Chyna's second Playboy magazine

JR - (muffled) Jerry, we're not supposed to mention her, she doesn't work for us anymore!

King - Oh, yeah sorry...

JR - (normal) Wow! The crowd is coming alive for Maven!

*Someone in the crowd yawns*

*Maven takes a run at Y2J and drop kicks him*

JR - Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! ... Oh wait... Drop kick! Drop kick! Drop kick! Look at the carnage! It's like a car wreck! Look at the bodies!

*Maven covers Y2J, and gets the three*

JR - Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! He's done it! Done it! Done it! Done it! The crowd are on their feet!

*The crowd are, indeed, on their feet, but they are all throwing their beer cans into the ring. Maven gets pounded with empties*

JR - The crowd are so happy their favourite superstar has won, they're celebrating like crazy!

*After throwing everything, including a few steel chairs, the audience file out. Fights break out over who gets to leave first*

JR - These fans are so ecstatic about this win they're going outside to wait for Maven to get his autograph!

King - Just give it up, JR!

JR - There you go folks, Wrestlemania 18! I have a feeling this one will go down in history as the best main event ever!

*Ratings = 1 - one person, who left his telly on when he left the room*


And there you have it, our dream match! Even JR moonsaulting off the titon-tron through a table couldn’t help this pay per view!
There have been no replies to this thread yet.
Wed 23/01/02 at 16:43
Regular
"That's right!"
Posts: 10,645
OK, I only got one reply when I posted this earlier, and that was from my mate, so I thought I'd try again. It's good for a laugh



The scene - Wrestlemania 18


JR - Tonight, a mystery opponent has a title shot against the first ever Undisputed Champion : Chris Jericho! Oh boy is this going to be a slobber knocker!

King - I can't wait! But first, let's talk about puppies, JR. I love puppies! Woohoo! Puppies! Woohoo!

*JR holds his hand over his mic so he can calm the King down*

JR - (muffled) Dammit, Jerry, you can't say that!

King - Sorry

JR - (normal) OK ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the biggest match of the year.

*Y2J's music hits, he gets a few boos. He appears at the top of the ramp and struts down, kissing his titles*

Y2J - Now listen up! I'm a living legend dammit!

*Crowd chants "boring"*

*Y2J realises his heel mic skills are below average, so quits while he's ahead*

JR - Now it's time to find out who his mystery opponent is!

King - This is totally unfair, Y2J deserves more than this!

*Some rubbish music starts and a figure appears, dressed in adidas pants and trainers*

JR - Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! It's MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN! MAVEN!

*The crowd is completely silent, save for a few coughs*

King - Maven? Oh no!

*Y2J does his best to appear frightened as Maven enters the ring, smiling, and winking at the camera*

Maven - This is for you, mom!

*Y2J attacks Maven from behind*

JR - Oh what a cheap shot by Jericho!

King - What match are you watching, Ross?

*The two wrestlers (well, one wrestler, one 15 minute of famer) duel it out with right hands. Of course, Maven gets the upper hand.*

JR - Jericho whipped into the corner, oh but he gets his boot up into Maven's face! Whether you like Jericho or not, you HAVE to respect his ability

King - Um, yeah... What he said

JR - Hey! This isn't a no DQ match! What's Jericho doing getting a steel chair!

King - Maybe he wants to sit down!

*Y2J pushes the ref down and cracks Maven over the head with the chair*

*Maven falls down and can clearly be seen pulling a razor out of his pants and blading himself. The cameraman, realising he is too close, runs away backstage*

JR - Oh my God! This match has gotta be over!

*Y2J pulls the ref up and and covers Maven*

JR - This is a damn shame!

*Maven, of course, kicks out*

*The crowd remain silent*

JR - Oh my God! He kicked out! He kicked out! He kicked out!

*Y2J grabs one his belts from the time keeper and runs in, smashing Maven over the head with it. The ref looks the other way, pretending to be distracted*

JR - No! Not again! He hit him again!

King - What?

JR - Didn't you see that?

King - Sorry, I, um, had something in my eye... wow, look at those puppies in the fourth row...

JR - Dammit, Jericho is gonna steal one!

*Again, Maven kicks out. The crowd boos*

JR - He dug down deeper than any person in the history of the Universe has ever had to dig!

King - Eh?

*Y2J does his best to act angry, but Maven jumps up and they lock up*

JR - Wow, this action is hot!

*Maven and Y2J struggle back and forth in the grapple for about 5 minutes. People in the front row are hurling abuse at them*

*Y2J low blows Maven and runs to the top turnbuckle. He missile dropkicks Maven who clearly gets his hand up to block it and as soon as he is knocked down, he gets back up*

JR - Oh my God! Jericho stole Maven's finisher! What a son of a b*tch!

King - Sorry, what? I was looking at Chyna's second Playboy magazine

JR - (muffled) Jerry, we're not supposed to mention her, she doesn't work for us anymore!

King - Oh, yeah sorry...

JR - (normal) Wow! The crowd is coming alive for Maven!

*Someone in the crowd yawns*

*Maven takes a run at Y2J and drop kicks him*

JR - Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! Rock Bottom! ... Oh wait... Drop kick! Drop kick! Drop kick! Look at the carnage! It's like a car wreck! Look at the bodies!

*Maven covers Y2J, and gets the three*

JR - Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! He's done it! Done it! Done it! Done it! The crowd are on their feet!

*The crowd are, indeed, on their feet, but they are all throwing their beer cans into the ring. Maven gets pounded with empties*

JR - The crowd are so happy their favourite superstar has won, they're celebrating like crazy!

*After throwing everything, including a few steel chairs, the audience file out. Fights break out over who gets to leave first*

JR - These fans are so ecstatic about this win they're going outside to wait for Maven to get his autograph!

King - Just give it up, JR!

JR - There you go folks, Wrestlemania 18! I have a feeling this one will go down in history as the best main event ever!

*Ratings = 1 - one person, who left his telly on when he left the room*


And there you have it, our dream match! Even JR moonsaulting off the titon-tron through a table couldn’t help this pay per view!

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